As of this past Sunday evening I have declared a strike against all wedding planning (not including this website of course). The reason for this drastic and ridiculous decision is because of my FH. He has done nothing. Nothing for this wedding. Now, I don't expect him to become the next extraordinary wedding planner but acknowledging any wedding details would be nice. No, I should not say that. There is one wedding detail he is always interested in and that is our budget. He makes negative comments about everything I show him, every idea I come up with. Now matter how much it may cost. I have kept cost way done. As insulting and upsetting as that is I could swallow that a bit better if it wasn't for the fact that HE wanted this big wedding, not me!! I wanted to elope. Do something small. Not invite 260 of our closest friends and family. He talked me into this wedding and has now fought me every step of the way. I have tried to discuss this with him a bunch of times, I have explained how it makes me feel, I try not to bore him with little details, get him involved and making decisions in things he had shown some interest in. Nothing works. He promised to pick our officiant (he wanted a family friend to marry us) never handled it. He promised to work on the honeymoon. Nothing. His big contribution is that he held the gun when we registered. Bravo. So, Sunday night I lost my mind. I gave him both wedding binders, a list of phone number and a timeline. Maybe this will give him an idea of how much time and energy actually goes into planning a wedding. He has apologized and said he will help me but I don't think he really means that. He has made promises about the wedding before. I don't know what else to do. I am just so upset. This is not the way I want things to be but I can't take anymore of his behavior. It has been a constant uphill battle. I knew planning this wedding would have it's moments but I never imagined I would be this upset and feel this alone doing it. I don't know where to go from here.
rfilipofornow
Posted:
Member since
Re: On Strike... (long vent)
i swear, reading your post, it's like i wrote it myself. you'er certainly not alone and i think it's awesome that you've gone on 'strike'. i wish i could do the same thing!! honestly, i think it's a 'man' thing. I've recently realized that my FH honestly thinks that when i get home from work, i just sit on my @ss and do nothing - nevermind that i go to the gym, plan a wedding, recently finished doing stuff for my friends wedding, play in two orchestras, food shop, clean the house, work as a bookkeeping on the side for extra money, etc, but for some reason, he can't do ANYTHING because he 'works' during the day and is SOOOOOOOOOo tired when he gets home in the evening. i'm trying to be more 'understanding' to the dumb-ness of men, but sometimes it's very hard. i certainly hope you and your FH can come to some sort of agreement about things. my FH eventually just realized the best way to handle things is to just let me do whatever i want maybe you're FH will realize that's the easiest way to go about things too. good luck!!
JennysMOH
Posted:
Member since
Re: On Strike... (long vent)
I'm not a bride, I'm the MOH for my sister's wedding but I just had to come on here. I am so sorry for what you are going through. It makes me and my family appreciate even more my future Brother-in-law. He does whatever we ask of him and goes wherever we ask with regrads to wedding stuff. Be it the RH, flower place, invitations, Dj, opinions on favors, etc. We are very blessed to have him become part of the family.
Talk to your FH in a neutral place. Not your house or his. Go to the park and talk it out. Have him truly understand what you are going through.
army wife to be
Posted:
Member since
Re: On Strike... (long vent)
Wow I can't believe he would fight you on something HE wanted. I understand if he wasn't doing anything and was nice and agreeable on what you picked.. but to fight it?? weird! haha. Well it might be better if you plan the whole thing.. It will probably turn out nicer and things will get done. I think you should just tell him if he doesnt have anything nice to say .. dont say anything at all. Since you prob tried that.. then I'm glad you gave his *** some planning to do!! hahah good luck with it all!!
