One of my BM's isn't going to my Bachelorette Party...
Original post by sarahradio5
The thing is... it seems she really doesn't think it's a big deal at ALL. I mean, she has a good excuse... she's going on her honeymoon (which I didn't KNOW... she got married on July 1... didn't know her honeymoon would be Oct. 7th).
This was the girl who I always thought my MOH, but then said she would be too busy being a new doctor... then surprised me that she was getting married herself and got married 3 months later, before me, even though she wasn't too busy for that. Anywho...
So, I e-mailed her to ask if she can make it on Oct. 7, if we had it then, so she can try to get the day off. She said already has the day off, but she can't go with me because she'll be on her much deserved honeymoon, so she'll have to miss out on this one, but she 'expects to see lots of incriminating pictures. he he.'. Um... this isn't just dinner out. This is my bachelorette party! Not that I'm of course expecting her to change her honeymoon, but the bach party details haven't even been 'set', so we CAN change the date if key players can't make it, but it doesn't even sound like she wants to try. AND I know she's not exactly a party girl, but we're only doing a B-way show, dinner and the Culture Club... nothing overly crazy.
Also, if she's in the BP and doesn't go, how is that fair to the rest of my girls who go who pay for the Bachelorette Party for me? If she doens't go, it doesn't sound like she's offering to contribute anything. Is it standard for a BP member to still have to pay for anything if they don't attend the Bach party? How does that work?
MnM52607
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Re: One of my BM's isn't going to my Bachelorette Party...
I didn't go to one of my best friend's bachelorette party's. I don't think it is that big of a deal. If you change the date someone else might not be able to go.
Trishthedish
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Re: One of my BM's isn't going to my Bachelorette Party...
Hey, sorry to hear you are so upset.
I personally was in one of my best friends bridal party a few years ago and I really could not afford to go to the bachelorette party. My friend was not upset at all. Also, your bm is going on her honeymoon. You can't take that away from her. Just b/c she is not going does not mean that she does not care. Don't take it personal with her. I know the rest of the bridal party still included me even though I could not do the limo & the city that night. Before they all went out, we went to a friends house for dinner and I did attend that.
I honestly, would not take it personal if one of my girls couldn't make it. I would miss them and be slightly upset but I know they have their own lives aside from being in my bridal party and I know they still care about me and I value that in a friendship.
Hope that helps.
Nautical bride
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Re: One of my BM's isn't going to my Bachelorette Party...
Posted by stephanief
Posted by SummerBride06
i don't understand why you're upset if it's during her HM. a lot of BMs can't go to showers or BPs. one of my BMs couldn't go to either since she had to work. i was disappointed, but she is a great friend and i know she would be there if she could. i don't know if she contributed anything or not and really don't care.
you have to remember that your wedding is only very important to you and your FH. everyone else is excited, but may not see anything wrong with not being at things. and if it's her HM, what do you want her to do? if you change the date, let her know and see what she says.
i understand you're upset, but if other people will be there to celebrate with you, just go out and have a great time.
I agree 100%, don't sweat the small stuff
I agree too. I think you are reading into things too much. JMO. Your friend has a lot going on in her life right now. Even if you change the date she may not be able to afford it or take the time off because of everthing else going on in her life. Just let it go and be happy you are getting married. Honestly, I didn't even have a bachelorette party and have never regretted it.
kbeana24
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lipglossjunky73
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Re: One of my BM's isn't going to my Bachelorette Party...
2 people went to my bachelorette party - and 1 of them was a BM - no one else could make it because they were busy - things happen!
GoingNutty
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Re: One of my BM's isn't going to my Bachelorette Party...
Oh that reminds me, none of my SILs came either! They missed all the fun
Kara and Todd
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Re: One of my BM's isn't going to my Bachelorette Party...
Just have fun with the girls who can go!
I'm probably not a whole lot of help on this. FH and I are not having bachelor / bachelorette parties. Instead, we're going to plan a big joint party with all of our friends to Atlantic City for a weekend so we can celebrate together.
But it sounds like you're really looking forward to this, so just enjoy it with the girls who can be there, even if one of your BMs can't go!
