one of my friends just p*ssed me off! LONG VENT! - UPDATED

Jax430 Posted: Dec 28, 2004 09:08 PM

one of my friends just p*ssed me off! LONG VENT! - UPDATED

DH and I are having a New Years party. Everyone who is coming is an observant Jew, so they are all staying from at least sundown friday - sundown saturday. There are four couples, one single girl, and one single guy. The single girl was afraid she would be 'coupled' with the signle guy, who she doesn't really like, so she asked me if she could invite a guy she likes. DH and I understood and said okay - we met this guy and liked him. He couldn't come.

Today, the single girl IMs me and says, 'BTW, I invited 'Jane' and she just wants me to make sure it's okay for her to stay over.'

I was so annoyed! First of all, I never said it was okay to invite 'Jane', and second of all, I don't like her at all, and neither does DH! I wouldn't care so much if it was just a party for an evening, but she basically invited someone to stay at our apartment for at least 25 hours, when we're providing dinner, breakfast, lunch, etc!!

This is not the first time this has happened. This friend has a habit of inviting people along without asking anyone else. Up until now, we've just grinned and beared it. This time, though I e-mailed her to say that DH and I talked about it, and we do not want 'Jane' at our party. Even though our friend was in the wrong for inviting her in the first place, I still feel really guilty and I'm afraid my friend is going to be really angry with me.

matron Posted: Dec 28, 2004 09:10 PM

Re: one of my friends just p*ssed me off! LONG VENT!

I am so happy you stood up for yourself. Good luck!

nferrandi Posted: Dec 28, 2004 09:41 PM

Re: one of my friends just p*ssed me off! LONG VENT!

I'm glad you stood up for yourself, but this is a sticky situation. I totally understand where you and your DH are coming from. This is a party at your home and you'd like to be surrounded by friends, and 'Jane' is not one of them. But on the other hand, it seems like your friend really wants to be at your party, she's just trying to figure out a way for her to be more uncomfortable there. Of course she should have checked with you before inviting 'Jane', but now you run the risk of your friend not attending.

Danielle&Scott Posted: Dec 28, 2004 09:41 PM

Re: one of my friends just p*ssed me off! LONG VENT!

I agree...I am so happy that you stood up for yourself. Your friend had some nerve to invite someone to stay at your house without asking you first
Scott

luvsbob4603 Posted: Dec 28, 2004 09:52 PM

Re: one of my friends just p*ssed me off! LONG VENT!

your friend was wrong to invite someone over to your apartment for New years eve without asking you first,that is good you e-mailed her and Told her that you and Dh did not want her to come over, but now your friend might not come to your new years eve party but if she is a true friend she will.

Jax430 Posted: Dec 28, 2004 10:02 PM

Re: one of my friends just p*ssed me off! LONG VENT!

Posted by nferrandi

I'm glad you stood up for yourself, but this is a sticky situation. I totally understand where you and your DH are coming from. This is a party at your home and you'd like to be surrounded by friends, and 'Jane' is not one of them. But on the other hand, it seems like your friend really wants to be at your party, she's just trying to figure out a way for her to be more uncomfortable there. Of course she should have checked with you before inviting 'Jane', but now you run the risk of your friend not attending.

I know, I realize I run the risk of her not attending, and I am worried about that. I probably wouldn't have reacted so negatively if she invited someone I like, but this girl is someone who really gets on my nerves.

nferrandi Posted: Dec 28, 2004 10:37 PM

Re: one of my friends just p*ssed me off! LONG VENT!

Whether you like who she invited or not, she still should have checked with you first. You gave her permission to invite the guys she's dating, not some other girl that you don't like. And if 'Jane' didn't know that you and your DH didn't like her, she sure to knoe now. lol!

lbf404 Posted: Dec 28, 2004 10:42 PM

Re: one of my friends just p*ssed me off! LONG VENT!

Bravo to you for sticking up for yourself! I know how difficult that can be, and this party is going to be great no matter what happens.

mrswask Posted: Dec 29, 2004 02:06 AM

Re: one of my friends just p*ssed me off! LONG VENT!

Jackie -
I know you're worried that you offended your friend but she had a lot of chutzpah for what she did!!! Like you said - if it was just for a few hours, that's one thing, but you are basically putting up all your friends, room and board, for a full 24 hours - which is really great of you and Brad!! If she doesn't like it, tough.

Jax430 Posted: Dec 29, 2004 09:27 AM

Re: one of my friends just p*ssed me off! LONG VENT!

Well, my friend got back to me late last night. She was not upset with me, and explained why she's so upset and uncomfortable about being the only other single person there. We both understand each other's point of view, and she told 'Jane' that she couldn't come to the party. My friend isn't sure if she's coming now - she wants to hang out with all of us, b/c we're all friends from college, but doesn't want to feel uncomfortable all night, which I totally understand, so we'll see.

btrflygrl Posted: Dec 29, 2004 09:35 AM

Re: one of my friends just p*ssed me off! LONG VENT! - UPDATED

I'm glad you stood up for yourself! IF this friend has a habit of this, I'd limit the get togethers you invite her to or flat out confront her on it....tell her that because Mr X couldn't come does not give her the right to invite someone of her choosing.