To make a long story short, we aren't inviting everyone with a date because we can only fit 250 people in the room and we need to invite 270. My parents are paying for it and my mom can't even invite some of her cousins because we don't have the room - so unfair to her and my dad. So we're only inviting people with dates if they're engaged or in a serious relationship. So one of my fiance's friends is a complete player when it comes to women - he has a different girlfriend every month that we have to meet and be nice to and then she's gone after a few weeks. Sometimes there's even 2 at the same time - he disgusts me. So we decide he's one of the people we're not inviting with a date. My fiance shouldn't invite one of the firemen he works with so that this guy can bring his ***** of the month?? I don't think so. So he rudely asks me if he was being invited with a date (who asks that??) and I explained to him nicely why we can't . He called my fiance the next day all upset and pissed that he couldn't bring anyone. He hasn't spoken to us since and now he's backing out of the bachelor party! What a child! I wish my fiance would kick him out of the wedding but he won't for some reason. Their families are very close so I think that's why. I can't believe how rude and childish some people can be!! It amazes me. Etiquette is you don't even have to invite anyone with a date unless they're engaged or married. Am I wrong here??? Plus if we did invite him as a Plus One we'll wind up paying for her and he'll probably dump her the night before and not bring anyone!
IrishBrideASmiling
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Re: One of my Groomsman is an A-hole!!
I had the same issue. We politely told people that were single that once we start getting a bunch of no's, then we would ask if they wanted to bring a date, which is what we did.
One of FH's friends got all upset over it that he responded no to the wedding and wrote on the response card that he will be at the church...
I just keep on telling myself, they will find out when they get married!
MrsBlueRibbon
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Re: One of my Groomsman is an A-hole!!
No, I don't think you are wrong at all. It amazes me how people are so clueless about how much weddings cost! I want people I actually know at mine, not some random girl I will never see again. I just had a family member say to me yesterday ' oh, your cousin is so upset, so and so might not be able to go with her to your wedding' Huh! So and so is her boyfriend of 3 weeks! He is not being invited! I have had to cut family too, so I definitely would be upset in your situation. Hopefully the guy will drop out of the wedding on his own. Just don't cave.!
littlepixie12
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Re: One of my Groomsman is an A-hole!!
OMG that is really immature of him I must say... with weddings and funerals you always find out who your real friends are.. Maybe after the wedding your FH will have to consider if he still wants this guy in his life or not
VeggieBride
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Re: One of my Groomsman is an A-hole!!
wait....so is he part of the grooms party?
If he is then MY personal rule is that if theyre in the wedding they get invited with a date regardless. But obviously thats not the case with everyone.
Cacarina
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Re: One of my Groomsman is an A-hole!!
Posted by VeggieBride
wait....so is he part of the grooms party?
If he is then MY personal rule is that if theyre in the wedding they get invited with a date regardless. But obviously thats not the case with everyone.
That is kind of my rule too. HOWEVER, after hearing about what a jerk this guy is, I wouldn't want allow him to bring a date either. It is ridiculous.
We are inviting our wedding party with dates, but many of them are single and they said they don't even want to bring anyone since that person might not know anyone, so it would be boring for them especially since the B-Party will be busy with pics for a while in the beginning...
llupario14
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Re: One of my Groomsman is an A-hole!!
Posted by VeggieBride
wait....so is he part of the grooms party?
If he is then MY personal rule is that if theyre in the wedding they get invited with a date regardless. But obviously thats not the case with everyone.
I know a lot of people go by this rule, but if you really want to go by old school etiquette you don't have to invite anyone with dates unless their engaged or married. Obviously this is dated and hard to follow since so many people live together now before getting engaged. And I feel that when it comes to paying $40,000 for something, I don't care what the rules are - I'm going to invite someone I want there rather than someone I don't even know. People are just going to have to understand and if they don't like it they don't have to come. And I would have thought of all people that would understand that this is what we have to do, it would have been our closest friends.
llupario14
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Re: One of my Groomsman is an A-hole!!
Posted by IrishBrideASmiling
I had the same issue. We politely told people that were single that once we start getting a bunch of no's, then we would ask if they wanted to bring a date, which is what we did.
One of FH's friends got all upset over it that he responded no to the wedding and wrote on the response card that he will be at the church...
I just keep on telling myself, they will find out when they get married!
That's so true!
LadyDuda81509
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Re: One of my Groomsman is an A-hole!!
eww!! you would think a guy like that would wanna be by himself at the wedding so he can hit on all the single ladies! oh dont worry it will work itself out! if hes going to ruin a friendship over this he obvi wasnt a good friend to begin with!
gina409
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Re: One of my Groomsman is an A-hole!!
wow..im sorry u r going through this..he sounds like kind of a jerk and i thinku should stick to ur guns..i hope it sll works out for u
In Love
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Re: One of my Groomsman is an A-hole!!
Personally, I dont think your wront at all!!! Some of my groomsmen are not invitied with a date bc they dont have a girlfriend at the time and I dont want them just bring any girl that we have to pay for! So I totally understand where your coming from. Just stick with NO he cant bring anyone and thats it..He will get over it hes just being a baby. Dont let the little things stress you out. Its not worth it.
M_and_J
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Re: One of my Groomsman is an A-hole!!
Posted by gina409
wow..im sorry u r going through this..he sounds like kind of a jerk and i thinku should stick to ur guns..i hope it sll works out for u
ITA. sorry you have to deal with that. but its your wedding, your day, your money ...so your rules.
Juhgail
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Re: One of my Groomsman is an A-hole!!
Posted by IrishBrideASmiling
I had the same issue. We politely told people that were single that once we start getting a bunch of no's, then we would ask if they wanted to bring a date, which is what we did.
One of FH's friends got all upset over it that he responded no to the wedding and wrote on the response card that he will be at the church...
I just keep on telling myself, they will find out when they get married!
Good! One less person to pay for.
This guy is an A$$ hole. So he backed out of the B party. GOOd! It means he wont F*ck the strippers and encourage other guys to.
Hopefully he wont show up to the wedding!
mrsdraskin2009
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Re: One of my Groomsman is an A-hole!!
Posted by VeggieBride
wait....so is he part of the grooms party?
If he is then MY personal rule is that if theyre in the wedding they get invited with a date regardless. But obviously thats not the case with everyone.
I agree...but there are extenuating circumstances, and after his antics I'd definitely not let him bring soeone!
MLAngelo
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Re: One of my Groomsman is an A-hole!!
Posted by VeggieBride
wait....so is he part of the grooms party?
If he is then MY personal rule is that if theyre in the wedding they get invited with a date regardless. But obviously thats not the case with everyone.
Thats really my rule too. FH's brother is the same way. In fact he currently has three girlfriends, one he has dogs with, none know about the others. He said his invitation should be written as 'and guest' so he can decide which one, if any, to bring. Now obviously its different because he is FH's brother and the Best Man, but anyone in the wedding party who is single I invited with a guest.
But he sounds like a jerk and it is totally your call. You have the right to make that decision yourself and he should respect it.
digio809
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Re: One of my Groomsman is an A-hole!!
Don't worry Laur- he's a jerk! Hes not invited to mine with a date and I hope he doesnt even come!!
coldasice217
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Re: One of my Groomsman is an A-hole!!
I don't think you're wrong in this case at all. I am not inviting one of my (adult) BMs with a guest because she isn't seeing anyone. FH's mother made us invite his one, possibly 2 GM with a guest, but I think after all that's said and done we won't, because they're single as well. And none of them are remotely as azz-y as this guy is, so I think you're justified.
