ONE SIDED WEDDING.. LONG

you 1st should take to your fh and then find a way to involve the mother. show her pics of your dress or ask her opinions on the color scheme. start off with small things i am sure she will get into it and maybe the rest of the family will join in.

good luck

yeah just be nice to her and listen if she wants to talk about it. i can imagine it being a hard time. good luck.

at least you guys seen to get along.

FM

I some what know how you feel.
My FMIL hardly speaks any english at all. She also lives almost an hr from me so I don't see her too much. When I do see her we sometimes speak about the wedding which is basically translated to her. She is a very nice person but I don't really think she knows too much about a wedding. When my FIL's got married it was very different plus it was in Italy.
I honestly don't know what it will be like when my shower approaches.
My SIL has been helpful but it's just hard since they live some distance from me.
Maybe bring up something about the planning the next time you see them and that could help start something.
Good Luck!!!!!!

People involved with or around divorces really don't want to hear about weddings. I know that's hard to swallow. I had curbed my talk about the wedding to my old co-workers because one of them was going through a divorce and I really didn't want to upset her.

Some people are just like that, not getting excited about stuff. Maybe you could show her pictures of things you're interested in and ask her opinions. That's what I've been doing with FH's family, although they're very excited to be involved in any way, shape or form!

How's your relationship with his family overall (before the wedding?)

It's a tough situation to be in. I would, like the above posts stated, try communication w/the family and asking them exactly what part of the wedding would they like to be a part of. Maybe like a 'I really want you guys to be involved in the planning, would you want to help me pick out vendor xyz, or go see dress xyz?' Make them feel like YOU NEED their help, rather than you WANT their involvement.

On the othehr hand, it's your wedding, you're the bride, and the attention is usually towards you and your family. Sometimes the groom's side of the family doesn't want to be involved b/c it's traditionally not. They might be very traditional and it's like your FI said, your FMIL doesn't know how to do anything and maybe she needs to be shown what to do.

I dunno...I don't even know if I'm making any sense right now.

You've got a double edged sword right now - and the divorce in the family doesn't help.

Keep pyour chin up! Don't allow other people to put down your day. It's most important that you and your FI are on the same page....everyone else is secondary.

Count your blessings though! There have been cases of the FILZILLA'S....ones that took TOO much control!

ETA: Are they Greek???? GREEKS normally do not handle DIVORCES very well...it's a pretty LOW point in the family values.

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Posted by MrsP2Be

Are they paying for any of it? I know my FIL's aren't and therefore don't really care to hear any of the plans. I thought it was odd at first but then got used to it.

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not even a dime. FI will have to cover the rehearsal dinner...

Keep their heritage in mind! Their the groom's family and normally have absolutely nothing to do with the wedding plans.

I'm seeing this go down as my ex is getting married, and his family (They're very Traditional Greek as well) isn't footing a single penny, and not involved in the wedding planning whatsoever. When his sister got married, they were involved so much, the poor girl didnt' get to choose anything on her own.

I'd say you've got a combo of things working against you here. I personally wouldn't waste the energy w/them, leave them be, and make sure that my own family is involved more and enjoy it!