Opinions- Which church is nicer- (removed)
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Opinions- Which church is nicer- (removed)
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Re: Vent! Am I wrong for being aggravated? Edited
OMG...How rude![]()
She should have never said that.
I think you should get married at your church. I'm sure that as the wedding gets closer family members will figure out what to do in between the two on their own. This isn't a uncommon situation.
As for the comment on FI father's wife taking care of THEIR side you can't let that happen. You want everyone to feel like one big happy family at your wedding, not like it is his family against yours.
I hope I helped a little.
Hang in there![]()
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I think you should get married at your church. I'm sure that as the wedding gets closer family members will figure out what to do in between the two on their own. This isn't a uncommon situation.
As for the comment on FI father's wife taking care of THEIR side you can't let that happen. You want everyone to feel like one big happy family at your wedding, not like it is his family against yours.
I hope I helped a little.
Hang in there
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Re: Vent! Am I wrong for being aggravated? Edited
I had a situation where I originally planned to get married at the hall. I come to find out that a catholic priest is not allowed to marry two catholic's out side the physical church building!! However, they are allowed to marry outside the chuch for interfaith marrages!!! AHHHH!!! I didn't want the running around for myself, bridal party or guest sooooooooooo..... here is what I did............
I made a few calls to the surrounding churches that are near my hall. I asked them if they would allow out of parish people to get married at their churches? These are the responses;
No
Yes, but I would have to have a priest from my church preform the ceremony
Yes, and one of their own preist will preform the ceremony, but they would have to charge me a little more for not belonging to their church
(which I didn't care as long as it was more convient for everyone)
If you choose the last, the first thing to do is to call the churches near your hall and ask if they would allow you to be married there.
Once you have one or two, that say yes and of course check the times they have available for the ceremony, you then call to speak with either the priest or bishop from your churches and ask them if they will give you a letter of release, which means they give you permission to be married at a different church. And then once you have the letter from your church ( I don't think they require your FI) to have one, you would go back to the other church and make the arrangements with them.
Hope this is helpful to you?![]()
I made a few calls to the surrounding churches that are near my hall. I asked them if they would allow out of parish people to get married at their churches? These are the responses;
No
Yes, but I would have to have a priest from my church preform the ceremony
Yes, and one of their own preist will preform the ceremony, but they would have to charge me a little more for not belonging to their church
(which I didn't care as long as it was more convient for everyone)
If you choose the last, the first thing to do is to call the churches near your hall and ask if they would allow you to be married there.
Once you have one or two, that say yes and of course check the times they have available for the ceremony, you then call to speak with either the priest or bishop from your churches and ask them if they will give you a letter of release, which means they give you permission to be married at a different church. And then once you have the letter from your church ( I don't think they require your FI) to have one, you would go back to the other church and make the arrangements with them.
Hope this is helpful to you?
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Re: Vent! Am I wrong for being aggravated? Edited
In my opinion, if we ever had a long break we always went home between church and wedding reception.
But if they are coming in from a great distace and are not staying at a hotel, then I think there should be something for the guests. But who should set it up is another question. I would think if you were taking pictures with the bridal party shouldn't your parents and his parents be there? I would tell her this.
I also think taking them to a restaurant is tacky. I can't believe people would do this. I don't eat all day so I could at the cocktail hour. hehe.
You are getting married at Villa's and there is SOOOOO mcuh food. I would be mad.
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Re: Vent! Am I wrong for being aggravated? Edited
i would be upset too - she doesn't seem to realize what she is doing - a marriage is a union of both families and her plan wouldn't be helping that!
a suggestion you might consider would be renting a hotel room somewhere nearby and having soda and chippy-snacks (pretzels, chips, etc) so people could come and relax in between, put a cousin or someone in charge of making sure the room is locked up after and checked out......a friend of ours just got married upstate and did this - it was somewhat crowded at times but it was nice since there was no-where else for us to go in the interim....to save $$ you could even priceline it and start very low and up as your request is denied...but i know it can be done to get a 4 star hotel for ltierraly 45 dollars....
i think people woudl understand too if you did have that break....we have gone to plenty that had a break and we kept ourselves busy too....
once you cool off a litte, talk to fh's father's wife with fh and explain why it is important to have a joined celebration in between....hopefully she will understand but even if she deosn't, you at least know you tried!
good luck!!
a suggestion you might consider would be renting a hotel room somewhere nearby and having soda and chippy-snacks (pretzels, chips, etc) so people could come and relax in between, put a cousin or someone in charge of making sure the room is locked up after and checked out......a friend of ours just got married upstate and did this - it was somewhat crowded at times but it was nice since there was no-where else for us to go in the interim....to save $$ you could even priceline it and start very low and up as your request is denied...but i know it can be done to get a 4 star hotel for ltierraly 45 dollars....
i think people woudl understand too if you did have that break....we have gone to plenty that had a break and we kept ourselves busy too....
once you cool off a litte, talk to fh's father's wife with fh and explain why it is important to have a joined celebration in between....hopefully she will understand but even if she deosn't, you at least know you tried!
good luck!!
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Re: Vent! Am I wrong for being aggravated? Edited
The people who live local can certainly go home, but those from out of town might need a place to go. Although the restaurant is a BAD idea (what the heck?!?), I think it was nice of her to offer to help arrange something. I don't know how many guests you are having, but it's alot to ask of one person to plan something for a large group of people to do between the ceremony and reception. Maybe she was just trying to split it upto make it more manageable, and someone from your family can take care of your side. I think that sounds fair. I would say give her the benefit of the doubt that she was not trying to snub your family, but rather just trying to help out.
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Re: Vent! Am I wrong for being aggravated? Edited
Thanks girls for your insight! I was actually thinking of contacting some of the hotels to see if there could be some kind of set up like this. I was really feeling badly about the situation, so thanks for helping me feel that there is some validity to my feelings. I hate to sound horrible because she really is a wonderful person in so many ways, but this particular situation was just a little weird for me, I guess because I keep trying to take EVERYONE into consideration with every decision I make.
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Re: Vent! Am I wrong for being aggravated? Edited
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Re: Vent! Am I wrong for being aggravated? Edited
You have a right to be upset. People only seem to think about what matters to themselves and not everyone else.
What I am slowly letting sink in, is what the girls keep saying--- IT IS YOUR DAY! Do what will make you happy and give you the best memories possible. If you have concerned then there are plenty of places in PJ that people could go to. Give them ideas. There are also a lot of other places not to far from Villa Lombardi's that you might be able to make reccomendations about. Let them stop have a drink or two, walk down by the docks view the water.
They are adults they can figure it out. The time will fly!!!
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Editted to add-- I love your church!!! That was my dream church!
What I am slowly letting sink in, is what the girls keep saying--- IT IS YOUR DAY! Do what will make you happy and give you the best memories possible. If you have concerned then there are plenty of places in PJ that people could go to. Give them ideas. There are also a lot of other places not to far from Villa Lombardi's that you might be able to make reccomendations about. Let them stop have a drink or two, walk down by the docks view the water.
They are adults they can figure it out. The time will fly!!!
Editted to add-- I love your church!!! That was my dream church!
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Re: Vent! Am I wrong for being aggravated? Edited
you have a right to be upset... Also if she takes her side to a restaurant perhaps they would get full before your wedding and not eat as much? Could you have chairs and drinks in a cooler set up in the backyard of someones house for your side of the family? Or can your fiance talk to his dad(not the step mother, who may be jealous?) and ask him if your side can come over there too..
swags is right.. its YOUR day...![]()
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swags is right.. its YOUR day...
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Re: Vent! Am I wrong for being aggravated? Edited
I am actually very relieved right now! My FH went to Mamma Lombardi's (the restaurant that is connected with Villa Lombardi's) and asked if it would be okay if 35-40 people were sent to the bar there to wait for the reception to start and if we could possibly run a tab for those people to have some drinks. They said it would be fine! This makes me feel a bit better . . .![]()
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Re: Vent! Am I wrong for being aggravated? Edited
Yayyyy BriBri. See, everything works out!!!
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Re: Opinions- Which Church do you think is nicer?
BUMP
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Re: Opinions- Which Church do you think is nicer?
Just want to say that Infant Jesus is by my house and it is gorgeous! I wanted to get married there but I wasn't part of that parish.
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Re: Opinions- Which Church do you think is nicer?
No offense, but you should be getting married at the church that means something to you and that you wish to have your kids brought up in.. not which one is nicest..
FYI I did in fact read this thread before you editted and don't understand why you have left it to become nothing but 'which one is nicer'
FYI I did in fact read this thread before you editted and don't understand why you have left it to become nothing but 'which one is nicer'
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Re: Opinions- Which Church do you think is nicer?
Unfortunately, I no longer live by the church that means something to me, and we probably won't be living in either parish in the future. I am just wondering what opinions are of both to help us make the final decision since we really can't decide where to get married- sorry if I am offending anyone with my inquiry, and if I am please don't feel that you have to respond!
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Re: Opinions- Which Church do you think is nicer?
Sorry, it's just that it should mean something to you, you know?
I've never been to the one in Port Jeff, but the one in Merrick is GORGEOUS.I love it..
I've never been to the one in Port Jeff, but the one in Merrick is GORGEOUS.I love it..
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Re: Opinions- Which Church do you think is nicer?
oh.. so now you got some ball5 and decided not to play nice?
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Re: Opinions- Which Church do you think is nicer?
I am removing my post due to the fact that it has caused some unnecessary bad feelings![]()
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Re: Opinions- Which Church do you think is nicer?
They are both pretty, I would go with the one you love!!! I wish I had the choce, but my church is too far for us to go (St Anthony in ENPT), so we ar using his. It's upsetting because I don't have my childhood home to take pictures with either.![]()
