Ordering Invites. Please Help with Wording!!

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Posted by bemyyoko

Hear Ye! Hear Ye!

Let it be known that on the 28th day of March
in the year of our Lord two thousand eight
Lady Kerri Anne
Daughter of the House of Bemyyoko
and
Sir Johnny Depp
Son of the House of 'Mr Bemyyoko'
Shall be wed
The honour of thy presence is requested
at the fourth hour in the eventide
Church Name
534 Street Name
Town Name, New York

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Very cute!

A couple of suggestions from this English teacher:

To keep with the formality, I'd write 'twenty-eighth' in words.

There should be a period after 'Shall be wed'.

And I like that it sticks with the theme, but on March 28, 4:00 isn't quite 'eventide' yet, methinks.