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other guys' bachelor parties

beram63 Posted:

other guys' bachelor parties

FH has a bachelor party for someone else this w/e, and while the groom swears he hates strippers and wants no part of that, there's a murmur going that the cousin might have that planned anyhow. i personally have no problem with naked ladies dancing, but if some girl in a g-string rubs her crotch on FH, i'm going to be pi$$ed. the whole thing has caused quite a stir with the ladies in the group.

so, what are your rules for FH's BP? how do you handle the situation when it's a party for another groom and FH has an obligation to go?
chicky724 Posted:

Re: other guys' bachelor parties

When he went to my friends’ last year (I think they went to the Penthouse Club) he said they were getting a little out of control so him and my friend went up to the roof and were just smoking cigars.

I really don’t like strip clubs but I know it’s probably going to happen for FH’s anyway. I just told him he had better not go in to any back rooms!
LegoBride Posted:

Re: other guys' bachelor parties

I have no rules for FH's Bparty. I trust him100% he actually tells me all that goes on at the other bparties he's been too - even the not so good stuff so I trust him. I want him to have the best time of his life with his friends. I know his feeling on strippers and even if girls are involved I am still ok with it b/c of my relationship with FH. The are actually going to San Fran the weekend of Dec 5th for the Jet/49er game which I think is awesome - I am bummed I'm not going - haha

NickandTara426 Posted:

Re: other guys' bachelor parties

FH went to a bachelor party last month and I wasn't thrilled but I'm not going to stop him. He ended up going to a strip club and he said he stood at the bar the whole time. Previously he has told me that he finds strip clubs pointless. But I trust FH completely and I didn't feel it was an issue.

flairforfashion Posted:

Re: other guys' bachelor parties

FuTuRe MrS MaZz Posted:

Re: other guys' bachelor parties

The last bachelor party that fh went to included a strip club and i got sooooo mad when i found out they had their own lil private room... FH says he just sat back with the guys and it was all a show for the groom but seriously, who believes that LOL

MrsDtoBe09 Posted:

Re: other guys' bachelor parties

FH recently went to a bachelor party at a strip club and he said he stood around talking about baseball with his friends he hasnt seen in a while and I believe him. He's not one to waste money on stupid stuff.

For his bachelor party I can see him going to a Yankee game, out to eat and then to a bar. If he wanted to go to a strip club, I think I would kind of have a problem... you can't go to a strip club for your bachelor party and not get a lap dance. Touching of any sort is not allowed in my book!
lilpiggy742 Posted:

Re: other guys' bachelor parties

I'm actually very nervous...i have trust issues period. Even with fh and he knows this. I know a lot is over the top b/c they kkno its a bachelor party but when my fh is the groom to be..i dont even want to kno. But fh is going to myrtle beach during spring break with his friends..and that honestly has me even more nervous b/c these aren't strippers being paid..these are college girls who will just have sex b/c its spring break. FH says 'well my friends need to get laid' im like *** what if they try to pressure you into doing something or your drunk and you start making out with some girl. FH is very flirty and when i'm around i usually diffuse the situation but i won't be there to do that. Im honestly going to be a wreck for those few days....

FuTuRe MrS MaZz Posted:

Re: other guys' bachelor parties


Posted by MrsDtoBe09

FH recently went to a bachelor party at a strip club and he said he stood around talking about baseball with his friends he hasnt seen in a while and I believe him. He's not one to waste money on stupid stuff.

For his bachelor party I can see him going to a Yankee game, out to eat and then to a bar. If he wanted to go to a strip club, I think I would kind of have a problem... you can't go to a strip club for your bachelor party and not get a lap dance. Touching of any sort is not allowed in my book!



agreed! but fh doesnt have much choice in the matter.... i told the best man not to fcuk me over ... we agreed on getting him like a chunky midget type stripper but we'll see what happens... FH wants to go skydiving so that will prob be included.... but the whole hot girl touchin him kinda thing doesnt flow well with me
DonnaPWhite1124 Posted:

Re: other guys' bachelor parties

I dont know...not a big fan of them, but I trust him enough to know he's not doing anything stupid.

No one likes when their guy goes to a bach party, but cheating or any type of monkey business can go on at ANY time-not just at a bach party.
IrishBrideASmiling Posted:

Re: other guys' bachelor parties

FH just went to one last weekend and I had no problems. I am secure enough in my relationship to not worry about what may or may not happen in a strip club. We have no rules bc we trust each other.

IrishBrideASmiling Posted:

Re: other guys' bachelor parties


Posted by DonnaPWhite1124

No one likes when their guy goes to a bach party, but cheating or any type of monkey business can go on at ANY time-not just at a bach party.



Completely agree!!
DonnaPWhite1124 Posted:

Re: other guys' bachelor parties

One more added note to this, I just think when someone has to pay a stripper to get their rocks off, its a desperate act committed because of low self esteem. Anyone who has to pay money to get laid, has some underlying issues.

Espo22 Posted:

Re: other guys' bachelor parties


Posted by DonnaPWhite1124

I dont know...not a big fan of them, but I trust him enough to know he's not doing anything stupid.

No one likes when their guy goes to a bach party, but cheating or any type of monkey business can go on at ANY time-not just at a bach party.



i agree 100% that its not just a bachelor party where a guy can do something bad. I mean everyone is worried about strippers but unless your guy is willing to spend ALOT of money to get a BJ or something else then i wouldn't even worry. Some guys have no problem paying for a lapdance, but many guys have a problem having to pay for sex and like i said, its not cheap lol these girls are NOT doing it for free and not like a stripper is going to say 'OMG look at this guy i want to do him' its a business for them ...and if a guy does not cheat then he wont cheat at his bp, a guy who does something at his bp well then guess what, he is somebody who does cheat and probably has done it before. I know guys who went to strip clubs and all that and did nothing, but they are guys who never cheated. I DO know guys who have cheated at their BP or a bp but i also know these guys have cheated in the past.

Personally i dont mind, my dh went to vegas and i was 100% fine with it. I knew all his friends were down to go and even brought it up, so when his brother was mentioning AC, i said no dh wants vegas and so does everyone else and i pushed vegas. Well it was happening regardless bc the one in charge was planning for vegas. I dont mind lapdances, but of course thats as far as it should go. If a guy is going to do something he would do it regardless, whether its at his BP or any other time. Its just the type of guy he is, and if he felt he needed to get off before the wedding then he would find another time, not like a bp is their only opportunity to do so. I want to know that he can go out and have fun and not do something bc he chooses not to do so even when its in his face. No matter what for the rest of our lives people are always put into certain situations so they just have to learn to act properly, i cant sit there my whole life trying to stop it
Im a Pepper Posted:

Re: other guys' bachelor parties

Eh, I'm not completely comfortable with bachelor parties to begin with but I completely trust FH to know that he's not doing anything he shouldn't be there. He just went to one a couple of weeks ago in AC. They wound up playing poker all night and never left the casino
Mich2585 Posted:

Re: other guys' bachelor parties

Ok i love my FH and trust 110% BUT YOU KNOW WHAT ... im not going to a strip club and neither should he! i dont think he would want some man dancing all over me and I do not want a girl dancing all over him or looking at a half naked girl dancing either! and it has NOTHING to do with trust ... but it has everything to do with respecting eachother!!! for his BP im sure he will go into the city for stakes ... he went to a BP in miami for his brother in laws wedding and they went to bars and stayed in the VIP section ... there is NO NEED for strippers or dancers of any kind

Espo22 Posted:

Re: other guys' bachelor parties


Posted by Mich2585

Ok i love my FH and trust 110% BUT YOU KNOW WHAT ... im not going to a strip club and neither should he! i dont think he would want some man dancing all over me and I do not want a girl dancing all over him or looking at a half naked girl dancing either! and it has NOTHING to do with trust ... but it has everything to do with respecting eachother!!! for his BP im sure he will go into the city for stakes ... he went to a BP in miami for his brother in laws wedding and they went to bars and stayed in the VIP section ... there is NO NEED for strippers or dancers of any kind



when i went to vegas for my bachelorette, we ended up somehow at spearmint rhino at 5am which is a female strip club, so i couldnt tell my dh not to when i did . I have no problem with it, a lapdance is fine but the thing is i am ok with it. IF one person in the relationship is against it and uncomfortable with the idea of it then yes they have to respect the other persons wishes. If i had a problem with it then i would want him to respect my wishes and vice versa. As long as youre both on the same page with whatever it is then its fine.

I went to vegas for mine and he went to vegas with his and it was something we were BOTH ok with and didnt mind. I was excited for him bc i know how much he loves vegas and he was excited for me, it was 3 weeks before the wedding and he thought i deserved to go away and get away from all this lol and just have fun with my friends and not focus on the wedding. If i would've seen he was uncomfortable with the idea of me going to vegas then of course i would've respected his feelings. Its funny bc i actually DIDNT want DH to stay local for his, i preferred him going away but i had my own reasons
mls282 Posted:

Re: other guys' bachelor parties

I don't like it but who does. MY FH went out with his friends bachelor party first they went to dinner and a cigar bar but then they went to a Wh*re House. They had a room with girls. He knew I was not cool with that and he said he wasn't interested in going so he had me come pick him up. The guys gave him hell for it but he didnt care. We have talked about it and both agree no private/champagne room business. he can go to strip club, watch girls, etc.... but we both agreed that the backroom nonsense or having a girl over the house was just disrepectful and inappropriate.

He tells me everything though so I am not worried. I trust him.
mls282 Posted:

Re: other guys' bachelor parties

I think part of the reason the bachelor party thing even bothers me is b/c I have A LOT of guys friends and I know A LOT of stuff that happened.. they tell me everything!!! The girls that come to the hotel or the house are WAY worse then most strip clubs. I mean anything goes. It upset me to hear a lot of guys... even guys I would never imagine cheating on their fiancees and girlfriends. I think thats why I am not as carefree about it as some are. I use to not care so much... hearing those stories really messed me up though. Fortunately FH is not someone I would ever worry about
beram63 Posted:

Re: other guys' bachelor parties


Posted by Espo22


Posted by DonnaPWhite1124

I dont know...not a big fan of them, but I trust him enough to know he's not doing anything stupid.

No one likes when their guy goes to a bach party, but cheating or any type of monkey business can go on at ANY time-not just at a bach party.



i agree 100% that its not just a bachelor party where a guy can do something bad. I mean everyone is worried about strippers but unless your guy is willing to spend ALOT of money to get a BJ or something else then i wouldn't even worry. Some guys have no problem paying for a lapdance, but many guys have a problem having to pay for sex and like i said, its not cheap lol these girls are NOT doing it for free and not like a stripper is going to say 'OMG look at this guy i want to do him' its a business for them ...and if a guy does not cheat then he wont cheat at his bp, a guy who does something at his bp well then guess what, he is somebody who does cheat and probably has done it before. I know guys who went to strip clubs and all that and did nothing, but they are guys who never cheated. I DO know guys who have cheated at their BP or a bp but i also know these guys have cheated in the past.

Personally i dont mind, my dh went to vegas and i was 100% fine with it. I knew all his friends were down to go and even brought it up, so when his brother was mentioning AC, i said no dh wants vegas and so does everyone else and i pushed vegas. Well it was happening regardless bc the one in charge was planning for vegas. I dont mind lapdances, but of course thats as far as it should go. If a guy is going to do something he would do it regardless, whether its at his BP or any other time. Its just the type of guy he is, and if he felt he needed to get off before the wedding then he would find another time, not like a bp is their only opportunity to do so. I want to know that he can go out and have fun and not do something bc he chooses not to do so even when its in his face. No matter what for the rest of our lives people are always put into certain situations so they just have to learn to act properly, i cant sit there my whole life trying to stop it



i agree with you about trust and the connection to a guy's character. however, i think it's possible to take a trustworthy guy, put him in the position of being drunk and in close proximity to strippers who've been paid by other people to 'show him a good time,' and doing something impulsive and disrespectful. i also think it's possible for a guy who would not do this in a normal situation to make a mistake given the circumstances and pressure from his buddies.

to me, the tradition itself is disgusting in principle: i'm finally ready to settle down, so right before my wedding, let's get as close to cheating as humanly possible without getting in trouble. bleh...i hate it.

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