other guys' bachelor parties

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Posted by beram63

i agree with you about trust and the connection to a guy's character. however, i think it's possible to take a trustworthy guy, put him in the position of being drunk and in close proximity to strippers who've been paid by other people to 'show him a good time,' and doing something impulsive and disrespectful. i also think it's possible for a guy who would not do this in a normal situation to make a mistake given the circumstances and pressure from his buddies.

to me, the tradition itself is disgusting in principle: i'm finally ready to settle down, so right before my wedding, let's get as close to cheating as humanly possible without getting in trouble. bleh...i hate it.

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Couldn't have said any of that better myself, Amber!

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Posted by mls282

I think part of the reason the bachelor party thing even bothers me is b/c I have A LOT of guys friends and I know A LOT of stuff that happened.. they tell me everything!!! The girls that come to the hotel or the house are WAY worse then most strip clubs. I mean anything goes. It upset me to hear a lot of guys... even guys I would never imagine cheating on their fiancees and girlfriends. I think thats why I am not as carefree about it as some are. I use to not care so much... hearing those stories really messed me up though. Fortunately FH is not someone I would ever worry about

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its true ive heard some bad stories but also heard of just as many where nothing happened. I had real good guy friends who always told me everything. The coming to the house thing is true, the worst bachelor party story ive ever heard was strippers coming to the house.

I knew lots of guys who cheated and i dont mean at a bp but just in general. They were guys that others would've never suspected, there were some that when they told me i was shocked bc seeing them with their gf's i was very surprised. There were times others found out about a certain incidence and were shocked that they did something, but i knew they had done in the past too and wasnt their only time. I grew up with a bunch of guys and i hate to say but the majority of them cheated, i was around all of it and saw what they did all the time. We would always go out to clubs and many would have gf's but they would be out picking up girls. Or it didnt even have to be a club. They would say they're hanging out with their friends and at first we would all be hanging out, just a bbq or something laid back and they'd get a call and leave to meet up with some chick and then come back when they were done.

I never trusted guys bc of the guys i grew up with the only reason i trust DH is bc if he does do something he'll tell me. There are times he wasnt an angel, not cheating but still somethings that would get a person mad and he has told me...he cant hold things in, otherwise it will eat at him, guess it has to do alot with him being manic depressive, any little thing that a person with this has to deal with, will cause them to go into a depression and their mind deals with it differently. SOmetimes he tells me too much, even thoughts that go through his head, i dont think he realizes that its normal to have those thoughts, i had to explain to him how normal it is and to stop telling me when he was younger he cheated on 1 girl, he didnt eat for days, his mom told me what a mess he was and after just 3 days he had to tell her bc his mind couldnt deal with the guilt. So i guess my reasoning is ill know lol but more than that i do trust him but it helps lol. Plus i know some guys dont allow their bf's to go to strip clubs and dh will tell me if they went but not to say anything bc the others lied, they also act differently in front of their significant others than when they are around the guys, they always tell my dh he has issues bc he acts the same and says things the other guys wouldn't and doesnt hide these things from me.

It can be scary but like you said, most guys are not going to pay a stripper $600 for a bj, and trust me a stripper is not going to do it for free lol...so a strip club isnt the biggest worry, in the house if the guys paid alot of money for it then can be scary

everyone will feel differently about this situation, we all dont have to feel the same way about it. This conversation always gets heated(not saying its heated now i think its fine now but just in the past on the boards ive seen arguements come out of this, not now though, everyone is just expressing their side) bc girls who dont want the guys to go feel they have to defend themselves bc others say they dont mind since they trust their guy but other girls want to point out they trust their guy and not show that they ahve reason not to trust. Other girls who are ok with it feel the need to defend their views bc others say if i a guy respects you then he wouldnt go, so they get defensive bc they feel others are saying they are being disrespected. I am fine with others thinking its wrong, its how you feel and nobody should change your mind. As long as your guy respects how you feel then thats all that matters. Its not wrong to feel either way, its how you feel. If you feel its wrong then stand by it and make sure he does too, if you are ok with it then continue to feel that way. As long as youre happy in the end and get what you want out of the situation

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Posted by IrishBrideASmiling

FH just went to one last weekend and I had no problems. I am secure enough in my relationship to not worry about what may or may not happen in a strip club. We have no rules bc we trust each other.

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haha oh and boy did they hace fun!!! hahha..

i agree with you kristen! If you dont trust your FH - then, sorry, you should rethink getting married to him
oh and I also agree that they dont need to be on a bach party to cheat it can happen anytime

Honestly, I have no problem with strippers (and ALL guys claim they hate them, and some do, but groomsmen still seem to plan it!!!) but in the past few years, I have guy and GIRL friends who have been to bachelor/ette parties that were sex shows. Not girls dancing, girls having sex with each other, and willing to do it with the guys too. I know one girl who was at a Bachelorette where two girls performed acts on the male dancer, and I know two guys who had sex with the 'dancers' at B-Parties, and one who told me that the Groom got a 'treat.'

If they call in 'private dancers' to a house or hotel (and apparently, no one calls just one anymore, it's always two, and they always 'service' each other, if not the guests too). In the past few years, this hasn't happened once, or twice, but EVERY time a friend has gone to a B-Party.

That would be it for me. A strip club is fine, but I mean, really, live porn --- come on, that's not how I want my wedding celebrated and it's disrespectful. I'm no prude, but I'm sure if I had that at my Bachelorette, not only would my FH hate it, but his groomsmen would have plenty to say about it too!!!

Let me add, I trust my FH totally, and he wouldn't do anything, but that is not something I want as an event in 'Honor' of our wedding!!

For me it has nothing to do with my FH. My issue is that Groomsmen often take the opportunity to 'test' the Groom, and as a result, the party and some participants get out of hand, and turn a fun night into something people don't want to talk about. I don't want my FH's party to turn into something no one wants to tell their wives and girlfriends about, because it's uncomfortable. I've been to a wedding watching the Best Man dance with his wife of 10 years knowing he'd hooked up with someone at a B-Party, and if it were my Groom's B-Party, and his Groomsmen, I would wonder what kind of respect they had for our wedding to plan a XXX party. What do they think of my FH and what do they think of me? Or are they just planning for themselves?

My FH has asked, no TOLD, his BM that he wants a weekend with the girls and guys, with the guys having a golf outing, or skiing, and us doing the spa . . . . we'll see if that's what happens . . . . .

i agree with you about trust and the connection to a guy's character. however, i think it's possible to take a trustworthy guy, put him in the position of being drunk and in close proximity to strippers who've been paid by other people to 'show him a good time,' and doing something impulsive and disrespectful. i also think it's possible for a guy who would not do this in a normal situation to make a mistake given the circumstances and pressure from his buddies.

to me, the tradition itself is disgusting in principle: i'm finally ready to settle down, so right before my wedding, let's get as close to cheating as humanly possible without getting in trouble. bleh...i hate it.

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completely agree with you. maybe i am being a skeptic or a pessimist, but its seems to be that everyone here 'totally trusts their FH' yet i have known PLENTY of unassuming guys to be unfaithful and sneaky. trustworthy guys that love their gf's and would never ever want to do anything to jeapordize their relationship or lose this person. but guess what - they did. even the most trusting person placed in a certain situation can cave. but i also do think it takes a certain type of person to let it get to that point. do i trust FH as the rest of you seem to - of course, otherwise what would our relationship or future marriage together be based on (HUGE on trust - i absoluteley could not be with someone without it because of so many trust issues in the past and because of all the bull sh*t i've seen) but honestly, anything can happen. and thats the reality of it.

My FH is the same way with the whole stripper thing( hating them) but one year he was away for his b-day and they went to a stripper place, and the guys got him a lap dance I was sooooo upset!!!!! Yeah i cried!!!!!!

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Posted by lanamanitta

Honestly, I have no problem with strippers (and ALL guys claim they hate them, and some do, but groomsmen still seem to plan it!!!) but in the past few years, I have guy and GIRL friends who have been to bachelor/ette parties that were sex shows. Not girls dancing, girls having sex with each other, and willing to do it with the guys too. I know one girl who was at a Bachelorette where two girls performed acts on the male dancer, and I know two guys who had sex with the 'dancers' at B-Parties, and one who told me that the Groom got a 'treat.'

If they call in 'private dancers' to a house or hotel (and apparently, no one calls just one anymore, it's always two, and they always 'service' each other, if not the guests too). In the past few years, this hasn't happened once, or twice, but EVERY time a friend has gone to a B-Party.

That would be it for me. A strip club is fine, but I mean, really, live porn --- come on, that's not how I want my wedding celebrated and it's disrespectful. I'm no prude, but I'm sure if I had that at my Bachelorette, not only would my FH hate it, but his groomsmen would have plenty to say about it too!!!

Let me add, I trust my FH totally, and he wouldn't do anything, but that is not something I want as an event in 'Honor' of our wedding!!

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I totally agree. The W H O R E House the guys went to for his friends bachelor party this is what happened 2 or 3 girls took turns havign sex with each other. MY FH wasn't there so I don't know who else joined in on the action. That is just disturbing and disrespectful. Strippers, lap dances and titty bars don't phase me.... but that to me is just disrespectful and I am glad FH choose not to go with them. I think have the one last crazy night with the guys is fun and I am looking forward to doing it with my girls (no strippers though)...LOL!! But there is a such thing as taking it too far and being disrespectful.

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Posted by BeLissa

i agree with you about trust and the connection to a guy's character. however, i think it's possible to take a trustworthy guy, put him in the position of being drunk and in close proximity to strippers who've been paid by other people to 'show him a good time,' and doing something impulsive and disrespectful. i also think it's possible for a guy who would not do this in a normal situation to make a mistake given the circumstances and pressure from his buddies.

to me, the tradition itself is disgusting in principle: i'm finally ready to settle down, so right before my wedding, let's get as close to cheating as humanly possible without getting in trouble. bleh...i hate it.

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completely agree with you. maybe i am being a skeptic or a pessimist, but its seems to be that everyone here 'totally trusts their FH' yet i have known PLENTY of unassuming guys to be unfaithful and sneaky. trustworthy guys that love their gf's and would never ever want to do anything to jeapordize their relationship or lose this person. but guess what - they did. even the most trusting person placed in a certain situation can cave. but i also do think it takes a certain type of person to let it get to that point. do i trust FH as the rest of you seem to - of course, otherwise what would our relationship or future marriage together be based on (HUGE on trust - i absoluteley could not be with someone without it because of so many trust issues in the past and because of all the bull sh*t i've seen) but honestly, anything can happen. and thats the reality of it.

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Very true!!

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Posted by IrishBrideASmiling

FH just went to one last weekend and I had no problems. I am secure enough in my relationship to not worry about what may or may not happen in a strip club. We have no rules bc we trust each other.

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same here... my fh went down to Virginia beach for a bachelor party recently and to be honest i was happy he was able to go away and have so fun b/c of how busy he's been !!