Does anyone have BM that live out of state. My cousin is one of my BM she lives in Florida and was supposed to be coming up for thanksgiving weekend. I told her over a month ago that on sunday of that weekend i wanted her to come with me to try on the Dresses that i picked to make sure she is comfortable in it, she told me sure no problem for weeks. Now suddenly she says that she will only be coming to Li on Monday and I cant take off work to take her! Im pissed! she isnt even flying up for the Bridal shower or Bachlorette party.(but she is flying up for her Boyfriends, friends wedding in july). I dont want her to just show up the day of the wedding, I want her to be involved be part of it. Anyone have any ideas how to work this out?
Im just tired of all the BP drama Bull!! I feel like i should have my BP finalized it seems like every other day we dont know weather someone is doing it or not!!
Rambling i know just frustrated!!!
TIA
Espo22
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Re: Out of state- Bridesmaids
It's a tough situation bc it can get expensive for her to fly out a couple of times, especially now some plane tickets can get pricey to do often. So dont take it the wrong way, I am sure she would love to be alot more involved and be there but its probably hard for her at the same time.
If she was coming her for a different reason that would be messed up but if they have a wedding to attend then that is understandable. Also bc of that i think its harder for her to come to NY more often since they have to also attend that wedding.
Can you tell her the store you are getting it from to at least go on her own to look at the dress on Monday. She might be coming here on that day bc of price of plane tickets, certain days are cheaper than others and can make a big difference in price. For example when I went to vegas in april, we were planning on leaving sunday but my moh said it was a huge difference in price between sunday and monday and would've paid ALOT more so bc of that we decided to leave monday.. Especially with thanksgiving weekend, i can only imagine how expensive those airfare prices are, probably pretty pricey to fly that weekend
Also, what about telling her the designer and style number of the dress so she can go somewhere near her to try on the dress just to see what it looks like on her and she can tell you the size that fit her best.
Chanwich
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Re: Out of state- Bridesmaids
So I AM that out of town BM, actually I'm the out of town MOH. My sis is getting married on LI and I live in Oregon. I know how frustrating it has been on both sides for our family! I never even saw the dress that I am wearing until it was already ordered. I only get back to LI twice a year and thats usually pushing it. Especially with airfare these days, its really hard and I am sure she is in the same situation. Honestly, if it comes down to it, let her look at the dress at another store in her area. If she doesn't like it, would you really change your mind about using that dress? If not I would say just order it and have her try it on and get it altered next time she gets into town and don't stress yourself out over it. I think she will understand, and theres got to be some way to compromise. HTH
2009wedding
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Re: Out of state- Bridesmaids
Did you buy the bm dresses already? If you did you can have it shipped to her and have her go and get alterations done were she lives so it gets done and the dress fits right for your wedding. One of my brides maids had to do this. I have two brides maids that live in another state and it seems to be hard on them to keep coming to LI for fittings so one of them had the dress shipped to them.
alli3131
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Re: Out of state- Bridesmaids
One of my BM is out of town and she went to a local store to try and order the dress. Im sure there is a store near her that carries the dress.
She could even order it there so she can get all the alterations done near her. And don't listen to a Bridal Shop that says they all have to be ordered together due to dye lots......no one will ever notice....its just so they will get all the business.
Summertimegal424
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Re: Out of state- Bridesmaids
i have an out of town BM who got sized down in GA, and i am ordering her dress here, and when she comes up she can get it altered and from there...
FutureMrsD09
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Re: Out of state- Bridesmaids
What dress are you using? It's probably available down by her, and she can try it on there. I know it's not as fun, but it gets the job done! She'd also probably be ok with you just picking it. I have BM's all over NY, so it's hard for us to get together at once. Since she's close enough to be in your BP, i'm sure she feels just as bad as you do, so try to make the best of it! I know that's way easier said than done.
beram63
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Re: Out of state- Bridesmaids
if she doesn't have the time to look at the dress first, then i think she should prob just get measured somewhere near her so you can order. in terms of her involvement--and i've had much the same types of struggles with my BM, out-of-state or no--i think you have to let them be involved in whatever capacity they're motivated to be. i have some BM who are psyched for all things wedding and others who will show up in the dress and be done with it. i'm okay with that, and it saves me tons of wedding stress.
egem523
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Re: Out of state- Bridesmaids
My sister our out of state. I find a store locator in Florida that has my sample and send them there. I am letting them pick whatever style they like just has to be the same color and designer
Kristina2009
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Re: Out of state- Bridesmaids
My best friend now lives in Europe. So, obviously, she never got to try on the BM dress. I sent her a picture, she sent me her measurements, and I ordered her dress. She will not make my bachlorette party or shower and I understand - it would be an insane trip. I just want her to be by my side the day of - that is all that matters to me - and I am so grateful she will take time off or work and be here on my big day!
alli3131
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Re: Out of state- Bridesmaids
none of my BM had input on the dress except for my MOH.....and they were all fine with it. I had 3 dresses to choose from so they were able to pick which looked best. I was in a wedding where I hated the dress but oh well it wasn't my wedding I didn't have to like it.
Dr Meg
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Re: Out of state- Bridesmaids
I have 3 OOT BM's and one who is just moving back to LI in December. It was like pulling teeth to get them all to agree on a date to go and look at dresses but I felt it important to include them all. They've all been really great, but I understand on both sides how it can be a bit frustrating.
xosweetiexo
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Re: Out of state- Bridesmaids
I also have a BM out of state and I HATE IT!!!! I love the girl to death, but it's like I wanted her to be a part of planning, bachelorette, bridal shower, etc.... but she can't due to money issues. I totally understand that and she is a good friend of mine, so I'm trying to understand and deal with it- but it's hard b/c its like shes just going to show up the day of the wedding...... I totally understand what you are going through
IrishBrideASmiling
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Re: Out of state- Bridesmaids
I have two OOT BM and we decided to go with Davids Bridal dresses since all of the other BM's were close to a Davids and they all loved the dress.
I am flying to AZ next month to go see them and possibly try on dresses again with them out there. I am strapped for cash myself, but when you think about how much they are paying for the dress, airfare, and travel in general, the least I can do is fly out there and do some planning with them while I am out there.
I know they probably wont make the shower or the bach party, but I am ok with that. If i wasnt, I wouldnt have asked them to be in the bridal party.
