My 'best friend' moved to SC in December, she had gotten engaged in October and asked me if 'I would be honored to be in her wedding' yes she asked just like that...anyway, I was on the spot so I said yes (I have bad anxiety so I am rarely in weddings, but i also have a problem saying no) anyway, when my invites went out she responded no to my wedding bc she thought it was an engagement party. I even offered to pay airfare, she said she couldn't (I come to find out she planned a weekend with her fiancé) I wound up telling her 4 weeks before that it actually was my wedding an she said she would do everything she could to get here. Needless to say she couldn't make it, she sends me an engagement frame in March and i honestly haven't heard from her. Today I get a bridal party email from her giving all the bridesmaids and MOH everyone's info for her destination wedding in SC (why she is calling it a destination is beyond me, it's not a destination wedding if you live there, or is it? Please correct me if I am wrong) ok so besides the fact that we haven't spoken in months when she gives my info to everyone else she gives them my maiden name.....she knows I got married, she knows I changed my name....I am a little annoyed. I worked very hard for this name, lol! I honestly just want to bow out of the bp but I have no idea how. (the wedding is 11-10-12) we don even talk anyway....
Any famous LIW words of wisdom or advice???
And if you read all of the above thank u!
jovigirl414
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Re: Over reacting?
I definitely understand your frustration. I don't think I would say anything about her not using your married name, she could very well think much less of that than you are right now.
As far as dropping out of the BP goes, thats something you will have to think long and hard about. Is she worth all the travel and expenses when she couldn't make it to your wedding - especially after you told her it would be a surprise wedding? I'm not sure I would be able to let that go ...
adelz
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Re: Over reacting?
Hmmm...I would probably drop out and tell her that. I feel like if you're in someone's bridal party, you should be very close to them, you're standing by them on your most special day. Since you guys barely talk and she hasn't shown much interest when it was your biggest day, not sure if it makes sense to go through all the effort (lol sorry, I realize that sounds harsh). I think you should tell her sooner than later that although you'd love to be part of her day, at this time you're not able to be in her bridal party and wish her the best bla bla etc.
kshea23
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Re: Over reacting?
I agree with the other girls. It's not worth all the trouble and $$$$ when she hasn't shown any interest in keeping in touch with you.
mtk1605
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Re: Over reacting?
Thank you girls! I'm going to enjoy my weekend and talk to her Tuesday.
FutureGaudino
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Re: Over reacting?
I agree. I would talk to her and let her know now that you can not be in her bridal party. If she is such a good friend she would have canceled her plans and been at your wedding. Friendship isn't a one way street, it's give and take. It sounds like she just likes to take. Good luck!
leesah85
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Re: Over reacting?
Posted by kshea23
I agree with the other girls. It's not worth all the trouble and $$$$ when she hasn't shown any interest in keeping in touch with you.
This
I would bow out. Just tell her that you really can't afford the financial obligation right now because you're trying to buy a house (e.g. or something like that). If she gives you attitude in any way, and you don't care about the relationship anymore anyway, then go for the jugular!
Jmrosa1
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Re: Over reacting?
Posted by leesah85
Posted by kshea23
I agree with the other girls. It's not worth all the trouble and $$$$ when she hasn't shown any interest in keeping in touch with you.
This
I would bow out. Just tell her that you really can't afford the financial obligation right now because you're trying to buy a house (e.g. or something like that). If she gives you attitude in any way, and you don't care about the relationship anymore anyway, then go for the jugular!
I agree just bow out, and blame it on not being able to commit to the financial obligation at this time.
spdy540
Posted:
Member since
Re: Over reacting?
Posted by leesah85
Posted by kshea23
I agree with the other girls. It's not worth all the trouble and $$$$ when she hasn't shown any interest in keeping in touch with you.
This
I would bow out. Just tell her that you really can't afford the financial obligation right now because you're trying to buy a house (e.g. or something like that). If she gives you attitude in any way, and you don't care about the relationship anymore anyway, then go for the jugular!
I love it. I would definitely bow out she didn't seem to care when it was your time
CantWaitMrsH
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Re: Over reacting?
With her wedding over a year and a half away things will more than likely get more distant and strained than close. I personally think I would say thank you for the honor, but given the way our relationship has progressed I am not comfortable being a BMs at this time.
I, like many other brides, learned who our friends are through the whole wedding process. We had friends travel all the way west just to be a part of our mass. That was beyond moving and friends we really havent known for that long! We were very surprised by those guests who didnt show themselves at our wedding ceremony, the most important part as far as we were concerned. Or at least say beforehand that they couldnt make that portion due to 'x' of a reason.
If you offered to pay airfare, explained to her it was a surprise wedding, and in the end she still couldnt make herself available that speaks volume. As awful as it sounds I say 'cut your losses.' Its so not worth it in the end!
PS I too have issues saying no! Ive been a BMs to so many and didnt see their faces on my big day?!?!
mtk1605
Posted:
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Re: Over reacting?
I seriously love you girls!!! So I responded nicely to her e-mail sinc that's the onlyway to communicate with her....waiting fo the response, I will let you know the turn out!
