Ow...feel bad

Well, I dont know if all of you remember...but on the day of my shower, my dog got hit by a car and died. Needless to say, the day was crazy, trying to get ready without crying, but once I was there, everything was OK.

It was very chaotic, h/e....67 ppl!!
I made my rounds to pretty much every table (I thought), and as I was opening gifts, realized I forgot ONE table.

I felt terrible, but figured ppl would try to understand being that not only was it a tough day, but also I was being pulled from every angle.

Well, my fmil told me that one of the ladies (a distant cousin) said something like 'I didnt even know whose shower I was at.'
Well, I feel bad and was thinking about mentioning something about it in the thank you card.

What do you think? Suggestions??

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Posted by Nc82

Well, I dont know if all of you remember...but on the day of my shower, my dog got hit by a car and died. Needless to say, the day was crazy, trying to get ready without crying, but once I was there, everything was OK.

It was very chaotic, h/e....67 ppl!!
I made my rounds to pretty much every table (I thought), and as I was opening gifts, realized I forgot ONE table.

I felt terrible, but figured ppl would try to understand being that not only was it a tough day, but also I was being pulled from every angle.

Well, my fmil told me that one of the ladies (a distant cousin) said something like 'I didnt even know whose shower I was at.'
Well, I feel bad and was thinking about mentioning something about it in the thank you card.

What do you think? Suggestions??

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Does she kow what happened? I assumed people would know and it woul dhave traveled thr grapevine. IF she didnt knowi ts a severe lack of tack - it was a very tramatic experience on a beautiful day.

I wouldnt include anything about it. Thats not something I personally feel u need to relive over and over writing it out.

Is she the only one who said something?

I would say F you, biotch my dog died. But that's me. I think that's totally rude - people should understand that you might not get to say hello or whatever under even normal circumstances. if my dog (cat) died the morning of my shower, I would probably drown my sorrows in wine to get through the day.

sorry, that's JMO. I know these things can cause problems; I get so tired of who gets offended by what. Recognizing it in the thank you is a good idea like 'thanks for coming... so sorry i didn't get to chat with you more...' etc. and mention the fact that it was a hard day for you or something like that

You could say something like:

As you may know, my dog passed away on the day of my shower. Your presence and laughter at the shower made me smile, and helped to lessen the pain from my loss. Thank you so much not only for being there, but also for your gift of ...

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Posted by Annoulak

You could say something like:

As you may know, my dog passed away on the day of my shower. Your presence and laughter at the shower made me smile, and helped to lessen the pain from my loss. Thank you so much not only for being there, but also for your gift of ...

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so sorry for your loss, and yes I think that what you wrote is perfect, that one table will totally understand that your head wasn't all there that day

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Posted by Annoulak

You could say something like:

As you may know, my dog passed away on the day of my shower. Your presence and laughter at the shower made me smile, and helped to lessen the pain from my loss. Thank you so much not only for being there, but also for your gift of ...

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this sounds like a good idea

they should understand.. maybe that girl said that without knowing what happened

you want to know what - i know this sounds mean but you said its a distant cousin - who cares...you shouldnt let it get to you - i think its rude that she said that to your FMIL - my FMIL is nuts and would have told her where to go after a comment like that! ive never been to a party/wedding/shower and expected the person to spend 'x' amount of time talking to me....people expect too much these days, why cant they just let people enjoy themselves? thats the point isnt it?

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Posted by Future Mulligan

you want to know what - i know this sounds mean but you said its a distant cousin - who cares...you shouldnt let it get to you - i think its rude that she said that to your FMIL - my FMIL is nuts and would have told her where to go after a comment like that! ive never been to a party/wedding/shower and expected the person to spend 'x' amount of time talking to me....people expect too much these days, why cant they just let people enjoy themselves? thats the point isnt it?

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i agree.

A shower that size, that happens. And no offense, I've been at big showers, I make it a point to go to the bride and give her a hug and say some well wishes, now I know there may be some dumb rule that we as brides need to speak to each guest, but ya know, gimme a break. Ha ha!

And I'm very sorry about your dog. Of all days to have to be sad at your shower. Thoughts are with you. That happened to our cat years ago, she got hit and killed. It's the worst - a more painful type situation as opposed to being put down at peace - ya know? Also, you have time to prepare then.

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Posted by madseason

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Posted by Nc82

Well, I dont know if all of you remember...but on the day of my shower, my dog got hit by a car and died. Needless to say, the day was crazy, trying to get ready without crying, but once I was there, everything was OK.

It was very chaotic, h/e....67 ppl!!
I made my rounds to pretty much every table (I thought), and as I was opening gifts, realized I forgot ONE table.

I felt terrible, but figured ppl would try to understand being that not only was it a tough day, but also I was being pulled from every angle.

Well, my fmil told me that one of the ladies (a distant cousin) said something like 'I didnt even know whose shower I was at.'
Well, I feel bad and was thinking about mentioning something about it in the thank you card.

What do you think? Suggestions??

---

Does she kow what happened? I assumed people would know and it woul dhave traveled thr grapevine. IF she didnt knowi ts a severe lack of tack - it was a very tramatic experience on a beautiful day.

I wouldnt include anything about it. Thats not something I personally feel u need to relive over and over writing it out.

Is she the only one who said something?

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Well, honestly, I was able to pull it together during the shower...I still look back & do not know where my strength came from.

I did go around to every table, EXCEPT that one. Because once I was almost done, I was called to start opening gifts.

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Posted by snwb08

I would say F you, biotch my dog died. But that's me. I think that's totally rude - people should understand that you might not get to say hello or whatever under even normal circumstances. if my dog (cat) died the morning of my shower, I would probably drown my sorrows in wine to get through the day.

sorry, that's JMO. I know these things can cause problems; I get so tired of who gets offended by what. Recognizing it in the thank you is a good idea like 'thanks for coming... so sorry i didn't get to chat with you more...' etc. and mention the fact that it was a hard day for you or something like that

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I appreciate your opinion, lol
Honesty is the best...and, ya know...my reaction was just to feel VERY VERY guilty about it.

But, I am TOO tired of ppl being soooo offended all the time. I'm so not like that, so I have a hard time when others are like that.

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Posted by Annoulak

You could say something like:

As you may know, my dog passed away on the day of my shower. Your presence and laughter at the shower made me smile, and helped to lessen the pain from my loss. Thank you so much not only for being there, but also for your gift of ...

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I really dont want to bring up my baby in the thank you's.

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Posted by Nc82

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Posted by snwb08

I would say F you, biotch my dog died. But that's me. I think that's totally rude - people should understand that you might not get to say hello or whatever under even normal circumstances. if my dog (cat) died the morning of my shower, I would probably drown my sorrows in wine to get through the day.

sorry, that's JMO. I know these things can cause problems; I get so tired of who gets offended by what. Recognizing it in the thank you is a good idea like 'thanks for coming... so sorry i didn't get to chat with you more...' etc. and mention the fact that it was a hard day for you or something like that

---

I appreciate your opinion, lol
Honesty is the best...and, ya know...my reaction was just to feel VERY VERY guilty about it.

But, I am TOO tired of ppl being soooo offended all the time. I'm so not like that, so I have a hard time when others are like that.

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don't feel guilty. I'm from an italian family, and guilt is their specialty...I've just gotten to a point where I stopped caring about most things... I was guilted into (by my sister of all people) inviting people I didn't want to and FH and I had a huge fight about it and I felt awful afterwards. I'm so NOT doing that anymore.

you didn't deliberately set out to offend anyone, so you have nothing to feel bad about. I kind of think now you should just send her a generic thank you instead of acknowledging and giving her the satisfaction of letting her know she got to you, but you do what makes you the most comfortable.

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Posted by Future Mulligan

you want to know what - i know this sounds mean but you said its a distant cousin - who cares...you shouldnt let it get to you - i think its rude that she said that to your FMIL - my FMIL is nuts and would have told her where to go after a comment like that! ive never been to a party/wedding/shower and expected the person to spend 'x' amount of time talking to me....people expect too much these days, why cant they just let people enjoy themselves? thats the point isnt it?

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Well, my fmil did say 'she was upset, blah blah..and it was crazy day.'
But, my fmil and her side of the fam are 'like that'....very easily offended, so I think my fmil felt bad about it.

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Posted by snwb08

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Posted by Nc82

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Posted by snwb08

I would say F you, biotch my dog died. But that's me. I think that's totally rude - people should understand that you might not get to say hello or whatever under even normal circumstances. if my dog (cat) died the morning of my shower, I would probably drown my sorrows in wine to get through the day.

sorry, that's JMO. I know these things can cause problems; I get so tired of who gets offended by what. Recognizing it in the thank you is a good idea like 'thanks for coming... so sorry i didn't get to chat with you more...' etc. and mention the fact that it was a hard day for you or something like that

---

I appreciate your opinion, lol
Honesty is the best...and, ya know...my reaction was just to feel VERY VERY guilty about it.

But, I am TOO tired of ppl being soooo offended all the time. I'm so not like that, so I have a hard time when others are like that.

---

don't feel guilty. I'm from an italian family, and guilt is their specialty...I've just gotten to a point where I stopped caring about most things... I was guilted into (by my sister of all people) inviting people I didn't want to and FH and I had a huge fight about it and I felt awful afterwards. I'm so NOT doing that anymore.

you didn't deliberately set out to offend anyone, so you have nothing to feel bad about. I kind of think now you should just send her a generic thank you instead of acknowledging and giving her the satisfaction of letting her know she got to you, but you do what makes you the most comfortable.

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Italians - how'd you know?!

lol....what is up with this guilt thing?!

so sorry about your dog

ehh I dont think I would say anything- but make it a point at your wedding to fuss over her- and if that works great otherwise, she'll just have to get the hell over it- cause its not like you slighted her on purpose

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Posted by Nc82

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Posted by snwb08

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Posted by Nc82

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Posted by snwb08

I would say F you, biotch my dog died. But that's me. I think that's totally rude - people should understand that you might not get to say hello or whatever under even normal circumstances. if my dog (cat) died the morning of my shower, I would probably drown my sorrows in wine to get through the day.

sorry, that's JMO. I know these things can cause problems; I get so tired of who gets offended by what. Recognizing it in the thank you is a good idea like 'thanks for coming... so sorry i didn't get to chat with you more...' etc. and mention the fact that it was a hard day for you or something like that

---

I appreciate your opinion, lol
Honesty is the best...and, ya know...my reaction was just to feel VERY VERY guilty about it.

But, I am TOO tired of ppl being soooo offended all the time. I'm so not like that, so I have a hard time when others are like that.

---

don't feel guilty. I'm from an italian family, and guilt is their specialty...I've just gotten to a point where I stopped caring about most things... I was guilted into (by my sister of all people) inviting people I didn't want to and FH and I had a huge fight about it and I felt awful afterwards. I'm so NOT doing that anymore.

you didn't deliberately set out to offend anyone, so you have nothing to feel bad about. I kind of think now you should just send her a generic thank you instead of acknowledging and giving her the satisfaction of letting her know she got to you, but you do what makes you the most comfortable.

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Italians - how'd you know?!

lol....what is up with this guilt thing?!

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it's just how it is. SO frustrating - I have no idea where it came from!

I think she may have just felt like that because it was so many people.

I do not think you need to mention anything about it! Just thank yous are fine!