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panic attack

shcole08 Posted:

panic attack

So, yesterday I had to go to the dj to give him the list and Fh and I got lost. At first when we were planning we were excited but, now all he says is, 'this is taking up so much time and money we should have eloped' and that he can't wait until THE DAY AFTER the wedding. I just couldn't take it anymore with the stress of everything I had to do and hearing this I just lost it and had a really bad panic attack. I put so much work into planning this and he isnt even looking forward to it.
roan126 Posted:

Re: panic attack

I hear ya. My DH was EXACTLY the same way...he didnt understand why I was making such a big deal out of the wedding, spending all this time and energy and $$. All he kept saying was that he couldnt wait until the honeymoon, or even just the afterparty. It really hurt my feelings, BUT, and I will never forget this, that night after it was all over and we were alone in the hotel, he told me that everything I did was worth it and he did end up enjoying it in the end. Just my experience, but just so you know it doesnt mean that he wont enjoy the wedding or appreciate all of the work that you put into it.

shcole08 Posted:

Re: panic attack

thanks, I hope so....
kori22ny Posted:

Re: panic attack

I'm so sorry this happened to you and I don't mean to take his side, but I acted the same exact way when my FH last week wanted to add more people to the list when we were already at our minimum and I made the same exact comment. I have done EVERYTHING so I was just overwhelmed and he didn't like it so much and said that if didn't mean anything to me, it does mean a lot to me. All the planning and money that's being put into this and all the drama that I have had to dea l with I honestly wished for that day to come be over and it's done. Now that I am almost done with all the planning I know I am going to miss all this and I'm sure it will be perfect and wouldn't want it to end.

Just let him have a bit of space I am pretty sure he didn't mean it a bad way
bluekat16 Posted:

Re: panic attack

I think men just see it defferen'ty then us ladies....but on the day of they appreciate it all once it comes together. I know FH complains when we have to do something or the other that's wedding related...but in the end he also wants it to be a great day. I think that's just how they are...and that's why women do the wedding planning.
jennarose023 Posted:

Re: panic attack

he probably just doesn't know how stressed you really are OR he just doesn't know how to vent the stress that he feels. maybe he felt that he could just be honest with you? i'm sure that he is just as excited for this as you are!!!
mathteach Posted:

Re: panic attack

Sharon is right~

My DH hated anything wedding related (and I was the one who wanted to do destination) and I ended up fighting with him over the extras such as flip-flops, matches for the cigars, fan programs.(He didn't even know about the bagpiper)

After all was said and done, he had the best time and the things that he thought were the best were the very things he didn't want. It's been almost a month and he still talks about how all of my hard work paid off.

Hang in there, remember the big picture!
FutureMrsCarrieri Posted:

Re: panic attack

he says that now because of all the stress but I am positive he won't feel that way the day of. I bet he'll even say it was worth it!!!

emomma17 Posted:

Re: panic attack

Aw I am so sorry : it's a horrible feeling...I know, but like most have said I think guys just generally don't think about it the way we do. I know FH could care less to go see flowers and dj appointments, and for the most part I don't force him too but it is just him I know that. FH will in the end have the best time of his life and thank you for all your hard work and time that you put into this wedding.
GinaZ Posted:

Re: panic attack

He is looking forward to it- Im sure. But he is prolly stressed out too. It just happens. As much as I loved my wedding day and wouldnt change it for anything- arriving at our honeymoon was the biggest relief. Don't worry- everything will work out and you both will deal with it and live happily ever after!!
KiTTeN0819 Posted:

Re: panic attack

I too feel the way your FH feels. I am very stressed out about everything. My FH wants a big wedding.. I wanted to elope.. But he got his way with me doing all the work. He says he hasnt done anything cause i dont let him, but when i do give small jobs.. they dont really get done. So here i am stressed out, wishing the day away. Its sad really and im getting depressed about the whole thing. I dont even want to plan anymore. I know it will pass once we get some things done but its rough right now. Especially since i actually wanted to get alot done this weekend and hes up in Canada for his friends 4 day bachelor party. I cant even send out the invites that have been sitting in my living room since he was supossed to make hotel into cards up before he left.. but he 'ran out of time'.. UGH!

shcole08 Posted:

Re: panic attack

yea, I gave up on that because in the end I have to do it myself.
lucky1010 Posted:

Re: panic attack

aww, don't worry! he probably just said it out of frustration! He will see the day of how beautiful everything came out and thank you for all of it!!

Kittyg19 Posted:

Re: panic attack

It is a lot of details and I think they are not cut out for that like a lot us are. Hang in there its worth all your hard work and attention to detail. It will be great. Take lots of deep breaths & have some wine!

laurak102476 Posted:

Re: panic attack


Posted by shcole08

yea, I gave up on that because in the end I have to do it myself.



Hey date twin...

I feel the same way sometimes. I am busting my a$$ to get things done and I feel like I get zero reciprocation. You know what though, if he was to help, I am so friggin anal, I would just end up doing it over anyway. We still have some time, don't start panicking yet....
Butterfly123 Posted:

Re: panic attack

I think all DH's think that way. I dont know how many times he said we should have eloped Once the day is here he will be a totally different person and he will enjoy every minute of the wedding you took so much time out to plan. Dont worry hes just being a man
Kerin2804 Posted:

Re: panic attack

FH has said we should have elopeed a few times and so have I. I am lucky that FH has been a big help with the planning and choosing items. The reality of all that we have to plan hit me a while ago. When I would say let's get this done - fh & the moms would say oh you have time. Now that it is crunch time with meetings to attend and details to be completed I feel like I am left holding the bag. Try to remember that all of your hard work will end with a perfect day where you will become husband & wife

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