Parents are pissing me off!!

They will not come with me to the RH to negotiate and book it! I cannot stand them they are so lazy, and they just do NOT understand all this 'wedding stuff'. They seriously suggested that I just go to justice of the peace, seriously? I am the type of girl who has always thought about her wedding day. They also don't trust that I understand the responsibilites of being in a 30k dollar contract. UH HELLO?! Who went to college? NOT YOU! Who's going to school to be a doctor? DEFINITELY NOT YOU. They even keep trying the exscuse that they dont have the money to put down right now, the funniest part - THEY ARENT EVEN PAYING. When are they going to learn that I am smart and responsible? I get all A's for God's sake, and in classes like Physical Chemistry and Quantum Physics!

I dont mean to sound like a major biotch, its just that I havent asked them for a DOLLAR. I pay for my own schooling which is EXSPENSIVE, and FH and I are paying for everythingggggg! My mom told me should would buy me a Vera Wang dress when I got engaged, now? She wont even take a 15 minute ride to a reception hall.



vent over. please dont think poorly of me! does anyone else struggle with their parents like this?

why can't you go negotiate alone? you're obviously smart and extremely capable, you can handle them


oh, and ps:

If they're not paying, then just go and do it with your FH. They don't need to be there, since they're not financially responsible for it anyway.

awwwwwwwwwwww dont worry.
My parents cant even understand English... sniff snifff snifff!

I went with my MOH, my FH didnt even go. I tried to negotiate but i think i ****** at it. I did get the price i wanted but not enough freebie.

Why would your parents go to negotiate with the RH with you if you're paying for the wedding yourself?

I'm sorry you're frustrated and upset, but please try to remember that no one, even your parents, will ever care as much as you do about your wedding. That's why we're here -- to vent to and talk with -- and hopefully in the next 2 years you'll be ok with their feelings about the wedding.

Feel better!!!

---

Posted by kris_gets_hitched

If they're not paying, then just go and do it with your FH. They don't need to be there, since they're not financially responsible for it anyway.

---

This, 100%. If they don't want to be there, you don't need them there.

I went alone and booked most of my vendors, including the RH. If the parents aren't paying toward your wedding, why do you need them there? I only took my mom to get my wedding gown and pick invitations because she offered to pay, but otherwise, most of the financial decisions rest with me.

Also, we forget that generations prior to ours (parents/grandparents), having fancy weddings were not very common. Its only in recent years that the Wedding Market has exploded and shows like 'Platinum Weddings'. 'Say Yes to the Dress', 'Four Weddings', 'Bridezillas' are becoming popular. 15 years ago, you would see many marriages done by Justice of the Peace or something low key like a private room in the back of a restaurant.

Now, it seems like if you don't spend more than 15 or 30K on a wedding, you are not having a 'real ' wedding and that kind of mentality being foisted by American television/the media is kinda sad.

well my Mom is going to be a queen Bi-atch about it all since it involves money...even if it's mine!

Do yourself a favor and handle all the details yourself.

My Mom also mentioned the justice of the peace or a small dinner. My Diva FH wants a wedding and he's going to get one.

I'm not bringing my Mom to pick out dresses either. I may bring her to see it one I buy it and it comes in..maybe. We'll see how she's handling everything at that point.

This is supposed to be a happy timer. Less stress is best1

I know you're furstrated and I'm sorry about that... but honestly, FH and I didn't ask our parents to come. Andhis parents are very invilved as far as listening to ideas, offering advice when asked and are even helping to pay for some things (Not the RH). If your parents aren't offering anything to you besides advice you don't want or need and aren't helping to pay, then why do they need to come?

You're starting a new chapter with FH. You're smart and an adult, think of this as the beginning of your independence with FH.

Good luck.

---

Posted by JLWSJC


You're starting a new chapter with FH. You're smart and an adult, think of this as the beginning of your independence with FH.

Good luck.

---

I really agree with this. If they don't want to be there, don't force it. Do what you and FH want to do.

---

Posted by AwaitingAugust

why can't you go negotiate alone? you're obviously smart and extremely capable, you can handle them


oh, and ps:

---

i would and i ALWAYS have for the 20 places i've been to, but this is the place I know I want, and my dad is big, Italian, and intimidating! lol, and Russo's is a big Italian place, so I need him to make that connection with Mr. Russo. Then I dont have to play the role of bridezilla, just sweet innocent bride lol

It would just be nice for them to want to be doing these things with me and getting excited with me as I go along the way. And I want my dad there to help me because hes just soo good at it, very intimidating to a lot of people.

Yes ofcourse my FH gets excited for me and goes with me anywhere I ask when he isnt working, but hes like a part of me so he doesnt really count (lol) So I feel kinda like we are alone in the process.

Is your FH able to come with you?

Sending you FM

---

Posted by cc2011


Is your FH able to come with you?

Sending you FM

---

yes but he is the quiet shy type, I wear the pants! hahaa. i do all of the talking and he just hands me the money lol, not like weve booked anything yet but you get what i mean.

---

Posted by ooxrosaliexoo

It would just be nice for them to want to be doing these things with me and getting excited with me as I go along the way. And I want my dad there to help me because hes just soo good at it, very intimidating to a lot of people.

Yes ofcourse my FH gets excited for me and goes with me anywhere I ask when he isnt working, but hes like a part of me so he doesnt really count (lol) So I feel kinda like we are alone in the process.

---

here's an idea if your parents don't work out.

Find a bride on here that's getting married there. get her name etc and ask id its ok to name drop etc. That way you can have a bit of a kiss up bargaining tool. It may work.

ps. i dont mean to sound like i am brushing all your advice off! i agree with everything you all say, you are all great thank you

I don't think parents understand how much weddings cost these days! My mom got married in a little hall, with an off the rack dress, and had her brother take pics! When I told her how much I'm spending on a photographer, her jaw dropped. LOL. She is helping me pick a dress (I do have a strict budget with that!), and she will help me pick colors and do all the crafty things I want to do.
I'm sure you will find things that are more of interest to them. My mom rarely gets excited. I know she's happy for me but she won't jump up and down at everything like I do! It's probably hard for them to watch all the hard earned money go out the window on one day. It's not something they are used to.
When the day comes they will be all happy and teary eyed!

I agree, if they aren't paying, then just go and negotiate w/o them. As long as they are there for the big day and are happy with you, then that's all that matters.

Wedding planning these days are dramatically different from when they got married, so they'll never really understand the difference...