Is it just me, or is it rude for people to ask to bring guests when it clearly does not say 'and guest?' Three of FH's friends have asked to bring guests. One put me on the spot and casually asked in front of a lot of people at the superbowl party at FH's parents house. I felt so uncomfortable and simply said, 'Well, we didn't plan on that.' He then said, 'Well, let me know.' Seriously?! FH thinks I am overreacting and that people don't know any better. I think it's general etiquette that if a guest is not invited, one is not brought. FH and I are having a small wedding and are on a very tight budget. We are young and are the first in our group of friends to get married. I was told by one of my BM's that a mutual friend of mine and FH's stated that she was brining a guy friend to my shower who was clearly not invited, nevermind that it is females only. I don't understand why people think this is appropriate. Am I wrong? Thanks for reading my vent!
P.S. We have invited significant others of those we know are in a serious relationship and whose significant other we have met or hung out with. In other cases...it just wasn't possible.
I think you only have to invite someone with a guest if they are married/engaged/dating for a long time. If they are just casually dating someone or not dating anyone you can just invite the person. Kinda weird for that person to ask you that in frount of a bunch of people IMO
TommysWife08
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Re: People asking to bring guests??? Vent!
Posted by StaceYums81
I think you only have to invite someone with a guest if they are married/engaged/dating for a long time. If they are just casually dating someone or not dating anyone you can just invite the person. Kinda weird for that person to ask you that in frount of a bunch of people IMO
ITA with you and this was our rule for 'and guest' invites
thank GOD we never had ppl who asked to bring a guest!! its very rude!
GonnaBeeMrsG
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Re: People asking to bring guests??? Vent!
I agree with you and we are doing the same. Fh's friend who got married over the summer and had the same problem. I also think that people dont understand how expensive a wedding really is and take it for granted. Too me it is common sense if it says guest then you bring a guest if not then NO guest.
LaurenJosh
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Re: People asking to bring guests??? Vent!
I totally agree with you. I think its very rude for people to ask and put you on the spot. I'm doing the same thing with a lot of my FH's friends because most of them are not in serious relationships. It gets to be too much money if you let every single person bring a guest. Also, you'd have a lot of strangers there which I wouldn't want on my wedding day.
You should tell him 'if you are willing to bring and extra gift you can bring an extra person'
Cause thats another thing, if this guy brings a guest who's to say he won't still bring the same amount of $$$ as if it was just him going...
mosh424
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Re: People asking to bring guests??? Vent!
I agree with the ladies above, and explain that there is no more room for extra guests
FallBride2010
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Re: People asking to bring guests??? Vent!
Is the guy who asked in a relationship?
jtgarsik
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Re: People asking to bring guests??? Vent!
Honestly we just had too many people(250) to invite everyone with a guest..it would've been insane aside from not having the money for it..unless someone was in an actual relationship, we left it alone. We had some ask, some even RSVP with a date!! we were just really honest in a nice way..i just gave a call & said 'look i'm really sorry but we aren't even having immediate family invited with guests..' and we made it about going over a max. number for the room rather than 'we can't pay for it'... it can be really annoying...we even had one of dh's coworkers ask if she can bring her best friend
JenBill61210
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Re: People asking to bring guests??? Vent!
i totally agree that it is rude to ask to bring a guest when they are not invited. FH and I will only be inviting. it doesn't occur to some people that some couples are on a budget or have limited space on who they can invite. A good friend of mine who is attending her friend's wedding in may, and does not have a boyfriend, mentioned to me 'well i am bringing my guy friend anyway' and this made me so mad!
jaep129
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Re: People asking to bring guests??? Vent!
I would just write and guest b/c I had the same problem so we just gave in and wrote and guest and the ones who are in a relationship /married /engaged brought a guest. Single people did not which I was supprised b/c some asked if they could. JMO
pa56
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Re: People asking to bring guests??? Vent!
I blamed it on the reception hall and said they wouldn't let us go over capacity so no more people can come.
LiBride23
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Re: People asking to bring guests??? Vent!
It is not u..I was going through the same thing.... But I cute a lot of ppl.. Not to sound like a b*tch but... If i do not know them.. It is our wedding. We are not entitled to invite ppl we do not know. if people want to bring another person. I do not want to feel i have to be uncomfortable at my own wedding
mzmahagony
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Re: People asking to bring guests??? Vent!
I am having that same prob. because most of my friends are single and they want to bring a date, I can't afford for everyone to bring a date, only the one's in serious relationships. I don't feel like I should have to pay for just any guy that they prob just started dating. I don't want to be rude but I much prefer to have another friend there instead of a guest of someone that I have never met. I only want to have 100 guest because that is all we can afford and I think they should understand that. My parents and FH's parents gave me a list of people that they now want to invite......the drama never ends...lol
PrincessBride09
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Re: People asking to bring guests??? Vent!
Thanks for all the replies. At least I know I'm not crazy. Since the friend pressed a bit, I finally said, 'I'm sorry, are you dating someone I'm not aware of?' He said, 'Yeah, we've been dating a while.' It turns out I met her once and to my face, she made a rude comment about my outfit at FH's parents' house. So, she is some immature, rude person whom I met once and who made me uncomfortable in my FIL's home. I can do without her at the wedding, in my opinion.
tonysbride09
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Re: People asking to bring guests??? Vent!
I'm not going through this YET. My issue is going to be that my family members are not going to show up with one guest, they're going to bring their whole immediate family! This is why I have to specify on the invites 'Adult Only Reception' since there are more kids than adults.
For my family I think wedding, BBQ, babyshower all = PARTY. They dont equate it to additional pp cost.
SFAR89
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Re: People asking to bring guests??? Vent!
One of DH's friends was actually dating a girl that he never mentioned for a while, and then asked if he could bring her to the wedding. I sent out his invite with just his name on it. I didn't mind b/c he is one of DH's best friends, and we were able to afford to add the person, but I think that if alot of people are asking you if they can bring someone, especially when the invitation doesn't say 'with guest' it's very rude.
LiBride23
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Re: People asking to bring guests??? Vent!
same wit me... My wedding is for only adults. no children.
mlcvln129
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Re: People asking to bring guests??? Vent!
Yeah. . .my rule is going to be that you can only bring a guest in these two circumstances:
1. You traveled from out of state and couldn't find somebody to babysit the kids for the weekend
2. You've been dating the person for more than, say. . .four months.
I have to remember to add 'and Guest' to the addresses. . .
LiBride23
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Re: People asking to bring guests??? Vent!
yea. but then again u neva know.. some people just want to go. Like my CIL is 16 and dating a guy who is 30 and they have been dating for a while. I think that is nasty. And I do not know him. And on top of that I have other teenage girls that will be there and I am not going to let them think it is ok to do that. So Sorry he is not invited. But then there is my lil sister she is 21 and has been wit a 40 yr old for 2 yrs. But they are a match mate.. He got her away from the wrong path. So he is invited.. Is that mean?
