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Personal question

jenniferd Posted:

Personal question

Alright ladies, so I'm having a problem. Fh and I don't see each other duting the week bc Mon he plays basketball, Tues he plays cards, Wed he plays softball and Thurs he refs volleyball games. In the midst of all of this we barely speak bc by the time he gets home from these activites I'm basically almost asleep. I've discussed this with him MANY times. I told him that bc of all of this I am feeling disconnected to him and it makes me sad. He doesn't get it. He starts to get heated and tells me he gets busy. I'm not asking him to stop doing these things that he enjoys, I'm just asking him to make me a priority as well. Find some way to make me feel part of his life. It's getting to the point where I just don't feel important to him anymore.


Do you ladies think I'm overreacting? And how do you suggest that I fix this aside from talking it out, bc trust me, that didn't work.
krislee316 Posted:

Re: Personal question

thats a tough one because men dont understand the way we feel. I would just let him know how u feel and ask if u can be included in some of the things he's doing, maybe see if u can go to one of the games during the week and root him on??
hang in it will get better sometimes guys just dont get it
kweber322 Posted:

Re: Personal question

Can he somehow fit you into his activities? Or maybe you can make sure to eat dinner together before? You did not mention him having activities on the weekends - so I hope those are completely yours at least?

MEMEJOR Posted:

Re: Personal question

No... i would be very upset too... man are not always easy to talk to... why dont go to his softball game?

BarbieGrl10 Posted:

Re: Personal question

Could you possibly go watch one of his games?
MaggieLuvsJoe Posted:

Re: Personal question

I would be kind of upset if he made time to do all the things he loved except spend time with me. Do you guys spend Fri, Sat and Sun together? If not, then he should understand that he needs to make time for you as well. If he spends time with you those other three days then I guess you should both try to set aside some time where you can speak to each other for a little while.

I'm sure he doesnt realize that it is bothering you at all, guys are oblivious to certain things that upset us. Just have a talk with him and tell him that it's bothering you.

Good Luck
fabulousmady Posted:

Re: Personal question

wow he's BUSY!!! and no ur not overreacting. i'm extremely needy wen it comes to attention from FH. and im sorry that talking to him hasn't been working. why dont u try reversing the roles?? the days that he CAN see you or asks to see you, do something else. sometimes they need to get a dose of their own medicine and sometimes things can change if the shoe is on the other foot.
hope things work out.
FuTuRe MrS MaZz Posted:

Re: Personal question

sounds like my fh... he is involved in a ton of things after work... but sometimes ill join him.. gives ya something to do

jenniferd Posted:

Re: Personal question

That's a good suggestion. I can offer to go to one of his games. The only reason I haven't is bc they are pretty far. I live on the east end of LI and the games are sometimes out in Long Beach or out by Hofstra and they end pretty late. Thanks for reading my post and responding ladies, I really appreciate it!

Cacarina Posted:

Re: Personal question

I don't think you are overreacting. Sounds like he has a lot on his plate. Does he really need to be doing ALLL that stuff every week? What if he played cards every other week, and basketball every other week. That way you can see him at least one night a week every week. I think that sounds fair. If I were you, I would approach it out of love and not anger. Tell him that you miss him and you want to spend more time with him. I don't think asking for one night during the week is too much to ask...

Good luck...I know its hard!!!
JJC Posted:

Re: Personal question

I dont think you're overreacting...may I ask how old he is? i am sure that has something to do with it. i dont want to sound rude or start drama but a man that is about to be married needs to have his priorities straight. Everyone needs time to be with their own friends and do their own things but more than 1or 2x a week is excessive.

jenniferd Posted:

Re: Personal question


Posted by fabulousmady

wow he's BUSY!!! and no ur not overreacting. i'm extremely needy wen it comes to attention from FH. and im sorry that talking to him hasn't been working. why dont u try reversing the roles?? the days that he CAN see you or asks to see you, do something else. sometimes they need to get a dose of their own medicine and sometimes things can change if the shoe is on the other foot.
hope things work out.



You are so right! In the past the only thing that works is when he gets a dose of his own medicine! It sounds terrible but true. And I'm the same way, I feel like I do need attention and he doesn't get it I guess. Why are 'boys' so stupid when it comes to this stuff!
lmr2282 Posted:

Re: Personal question

Your not over reacting at all! I would be pissed and hurt too. You should tell him its to much. Why does he have to do something everynight? And that you miss him and your getting married, he should have made a lot of time for you already. Guys can never get over that single bachelor thing.

JJC Posted:

Re: Personal question


Posted by jenniferd


Posted by fabulousmady

wow he's BUSY!!! and no ur not overreacting. i'm extremely needy wen it comes to attention from FH. and im sorry that talking to him hasn't been working. why dont u try reversing the roles?? the days that he CAN see you or asks to see you, do something else. sometimes they need to get a dose of their own medicine and sometimes things can change if the shoe is on the other foot.
hope things work out.



You are so right! In the past the only thing that works is when he gets a dose of his own medicine! It sounds terrible but true. And I'm the same way, I feel like I do need attention and he doesn't get it I guess. Why are 'boys' so stupid when it comes to this stuff!




Sorry but I think this is a bad idea...playing games never gets you anywhere. he'll probably just fight fire with fire...we are talking about boys here!
jenniferd Posted:

Re: Personal question


Posted by JJC

I dont think you're overreacting...may I ask how old he is? i am sure that has something to do with it. i dont want to sound rude or start drama but a man that is about to be married needs to have his priorities straight. Everyone needs time to be with their own friends and do their own things but more than 1or 2x a week is excessive.



You're not starting drama! I totally afree with you and I think that's the problem. He just turned 29 2 weeks ago.
jgourdain Posted:

Re: Personal question

This stinks. I agree to see if you can attend a few of his games and cheer him on and maybe set a night where it is your night and you spend time with him. If that doesn't work do what he does to you, go out every night and come home after him and when he ask you about it say you are very busy. Hopefullyt then he will realize how you feel and he will talk to you about it. Good Luck! My fh tries that busy thing somethimes and I let him know i am not having it. Do You!

jenniferd Posted:

Re: Personal question


Posted by JJC


Posted by jenniferd


Posted by fabulousmady

wow he's BUSY!!! and no ur not overreacting. i'm extremely needy wen it comes to attention from FH. and im sorry that talking to him hasn't been working. why dont u try reversing the roles?? the days that he CAN see you or asks to see you, do something else. sometimes they need to get a dose of their own medicine and sometimes things can change if the shoe is on the other foot.
hope things work out.



You are so right! In the past the only thing that works is when he gets a dose of his own medicine! It sounds terrible but true. And I'm the same way, I feel like I do need attention and he doesn't get it I guess. Why are 'boys' so stupid when it comes to this stuff!




Sorry but I think this is a bad idea...playing games never gets you anywhere. he'll probably just fight fire with fire...we are talking about boys here!



You are right that's why I haven't taken that road this time. In the past it has happened just by coincidence. Things are totally different when you are engaged and not just in a relationship anymore.
FuTuRe MrS MaZz Posted:

Re: Personal question


Posted by JJC

I dont think you're overreacting...may I ask how old he is? i am sure that has something to do with it. i dont want to sound rude or start drama but a man that is about to be married needs to have his priorities straight. Everyone needs time to be with their own friends and do their own things but more than 1or 2x a week is excessive.



I dont agree... If this is what they enjoy, then let them... You will still make time for each other... You find other ways around it... Just think, when you have a family and get older, chances are the guys will be goin out less, and then you'll have to try to push him out the door bc hes around too much LOL
jenniferd Posted:

Re: Personal question

LOL this is true!

JJC Posted:

Re: Personal question

well...I personally prefer my FH to want to spend most of his time with me..and then some with his friends...but thats just me. i still think you should tell him how you feel.... silence is never good...it will just build up inside you

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