Posted by JJC
well...I personally prefer my FH to want to spend most of his time with me..and then some with his friends...but thats just me. i still think you should tell him how you feel.... silence is never good...it will just build up inside you
Do you get to see him on the weekends at least? I think you should go the games and ask if he could do one less activity during the week. FH and I go through this sometimes...He is a vol fireman and coach so there are weeks its feels like I never see him...We get through it though know that the 'season' or whatever it is is almost over.
Hang in there. We all go through nonsense w/ our men. They def. don't understand. The suggestion of attending his games from time to time is a great one! But remm you'll be on the side-line and not really spending 'quality time'. But don't feel so sad. Def. just tell him how you're feeling - maybe you guys can plan special dates together. That would be so much fun.
You're definitely NOT overreating. This is a serious situation. He gets mad when you discuss it because he thinks that will end the subject & he will keep getting his way. Im sorry to say but FH is being selfish. He NEEDS to understand while you want him to have hobbies & fun you just want to be a part of it as well. He should give up 1 of his 'after-school' activities to share an evening with you. That is NOT alot to ask for. Especially when you are telling him that you feel disconnected to him. He should be going out of his way to make you feel loved right now. My suggestion is if you cant talk it out. Which i definitely do suggest even if he gets mad TO BAD! U need to stand your ground & get it out. If he wont see it then you have tolet him know in another way which is not making time for him. I think thats childish but maybe if he knows how it feels he will learn or that it could totally backfire. Thats why i suggest the talk again even if it ends up in a fight!
Posted by VickiR510
You're definitely NOT overreating. This is a serious situation. He gets mad when you discuss it because he thinks that will end the subject & he will keep getting his way. Im sorry to say but FH is being selfish. He NEEDS to understand while you want him to have hobbies & fun you just want to be a part of it as well. He should give up 1 of his 'after-school' activities to share an evening with you. That is NOT alot to ask for. Especially when you are telling him that you feel disconnected to him. He should be going out of his way to make you feel loved right now. My suggestion is if you cant talk it out. Which i definitely do suggest even if he gets mad TO BAD! U need to stand your ground & get it out. If he wont see it then you have tolet him know in another way which is not making time for him. I think thats childish but maybe if he knows how it feels he will learn or that it could totally backfire. Thats why i suggest the talk again even if it ends up in a fight!
FH doesn't get me either at times. we live together and i still feel disconnected at times cause he's so wrapped up in work. can you be included in some of those activities? maybe go to some of those games?
I'm gonna ttry to go to some games. But I want him to try too!
Posted by JJC
Sorry but I think this is a bad idea...playing games never gets you anywhere. he'll probably just fight fire with fire...we are talking about boys here!
Posted by jenniferd
I'm gonna ttry to go to some games. But I want him to try too!
I think you should be proactive and suggest ideas on the days he is free so you r not just complaining but actually have things you want to do with him
May I ask if you guys live together?? I had this same problem for a year when we both lived at home after college. We only saw eachother on the weekends and if one of us had plans it was every 2 weeks. Once we moved in everything was fine. I even like when he goes to play basketball every Monday because I get some alone time....sometimes I go to the games as well. I'm going away this weekend and I know he's excited to get the place to himself....but of course he will miss me hah. I'm sure this will be the case for you too once you guys move in together (if you aren't already).
Well ladies I'd like to thank you for all of your imput, it really means alot to me. I'm going to use all of your advice. I'm off to work now, hope you all have a great day!!! Thanks again!
Posted by ELluvsMB
May I ask if you guys live together?? I had this same problem for a year when we both lived at home after college. We only saw eachother on the weekends and if one of us had plans it was every 2 weeks. Once we moved in everything was fine. I even like when he goes to play basketball every Monday because I get some alone time....sometimes I go to the games as well. I'm going away this weekend and I know he's excited to get the place to himself....but of course he will miss me hah. I'm sure this will be the case for you too once you guys move in together (if you aren't already).
Posted by FuTuRe MrS MaZz
Posted by JJC
I dont think you're overreacting...may I ask how old he is? i am sure that has something to do with it. i dont want to sound rude or start drama but a man that is about to be married needs to have his priorities straight. Everyone needs time to be with their own friends and do their own things but more than 1or 2x a week is excessive.
I dont agree... If this is what they enjoy, then let them... You will still make time for each other... You find other ways around it... Just think, when you have a family and get older, chances are the guys will be goin out less, and then you'll have to try to push him out the door bc hes around too much LOL
