Pet Peeve of Mine

get yours, girl. Go for it!

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Posted by Autumn08

It annoys me when people talk about firing and demoting the people in the bridal party like they are hired help. I just feel as if a wedding is supposed to be celebration with friends and family and if you want to act like a puppet master then hire actors to be in your BP. Or if you want a wedding planner, then hire a wedding planner!!! Also it bothers me when people try to control everything. I know we are spending a lot of $$$ and it's understandable to get what you paid for but you can't control everything!! Sorry read a few posts on the BHB board that got me upset and had to vent!

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COULDNT AGREE MORE

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Posted by Autumn08

It annoys me when people talk about firing and demoting the people in the bridal party like they are hired help. I just feel as if a wedding is supposed to be celebration with friends and family and if you want to act like a puppet master then hire actors to be in your BP. Or if you want a wedding planner, then hire a wedding planner!!! Also it bothers me when people try to control everything. I know we are spending a lot of $$$ and it's understandable to get what you paid for but you can't control everything!! Sorry read a few posts on the BHB board that got me upset and had to vent!

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Yeah trust me i know exactly what you mean, i said something once about that but ive decided to stay out of it for now, actually i am just lazy to go on about that topic lol

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Posted by Autumn08

I think I'm like an anit-bride. I'm very laid back and que sera, sera! Maybe I'm missing something? The B-gene!

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Trust me i am the same. I told my friends how all a bm has to do is get the dress and show up, theyre not obligated to go every dress shopping experience, help out with every little project and jump whenever you need them, they do have a life too ...But my friends thought i was crazy, and said uhmmm we're doing more than just buying a dress lol and they always offer to help out...However, if i demanded they always do or treated them like that i dont know if they would always offer to help, i know i wouldn't

I am one of the people who posted on the BHB board about my MOH. It isn't that I wanted to 'demote' her but the thing is the MOH (while not a wedding planner) is someone who should be excited about the wedding with you! And obviously it isn't the most important thing in their life but if you ask them for help and they act like you are bothering them, then maybe they shouldn't be the MOH or a Bridesmaid anymore. I don't want someone bringing me down while I am trying to plan what is supposed to be the Happiest day of my life.
Also, if you keep someone in your bridal party who isn't happy with being in the bridal party then it could ruin friendships. I think it is better to make sure that everyone is happy with there part in the wedding if they aren't save the wedding and save the friendship by giving them an out and letting them know you are OK if they don't want to be a part of it anymore! Wedding planning is hard enough...

Actually this is why they say DONT ASK YOUR BP right after your engagement...They say wait a few months, this way you see who is excited about your wedding, who is helpful and there for you...Everyone thought i was crazy when i said to wait but from what i see with SOOO many people, they are sooo surprised to their friends reactions of their wedding...Many people have uninterested MOH's.

My MOH had to keep asking me,-when are we doing this, when do you want me to come help you, i dont even ask her for help she is on top of things before i am and always offering with everything.

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Posted by Espo22

Actually this is why they say DONT ASK YOUR BP right after your engagement...They say wait a few months, this way you see who is excited about your wedding, who is helpful and there for you...Everyone thought i was crazy when i said to wait but from what i see with SOOO many people, they are sooo surprised to their friends reactions of their wedding...Many people have uninterested MOH's.

My MOH had to keep asking me,-when are we doing this, when do you want me to come help you, i dont even ask her for help she is on top of things before i am and always offering with everything.

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That's good, you are much smarter than I. Now that I look back I def made decisions too quickly but I was so excited to be engaged. Already we are thinking about changing the wedding date, I have one friend who complained that she wasn't the maid of honor (what a biotch right?), and Ihave family members that I am being told SHOULD be in my BP, but why should people get to tell me what to do right?
It is very stressful and to be honest I never wanted to have a wedding and people are making me want to cancel it! I thought with so much time to plan it would be easier...but I think it is the exact opposite, with less time you get things done and there is less time spent being stressed (not to say that you aren't stressed)

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Posted by KellymKuehn

I am one of the people who posted on the BHB board about my MOH. It isn't that I wanted to 'demote' her but the thing is the MOH (while not a wedding planner) is someone who should be excited about the wedding with you! And obviously it isn't the most important thing in their life but if you ask them for help and they act like you are bothering them, then maybe they shouldn't be the MOH or a Bridesmaid anymore. I don't want someone bringing me down while I am trying to plan what is supposed to be the Happiest day of my life.
Also, if you keep someone in your bridal party who isn't happy with being in the bridal party then it could ruin friendships. I think it is better to make sure that everyone is happy with there part in the wedding if they aren't save the wedding and save the friendship by giving them an out and letting them know you are OK if they don't want to be a part of it anymore! Wedding planning is hard enough...

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I agree. And I'm glad everything worked out with your friend! 16 years is a long time! It's just the wording that some people use that upsets me! It wasn't your post that upset me.

I'm spinning off. My biggest pet peeve is people who misspell words and use poor grammar in business e-mails. It's like nails on a chalkboard to me. Especially misspelled words. Every e-mail program on the face of the earth has spell check. Why can't people use it?

And when people mix up then/than, where/wear, form/from. Kills me. Especially in business e-mails.

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Posted by KellymKuehn

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Posted by Espo22

Actually this is why they say DONT ASK YOUR BP right after your engagement...They say wait a few months, this way you see who is excited about your wedding, who is helpful and there for you...Everyone thought i was crazy when i said to wait but from what i see with SOOO many people, they are sooo surprised to their friends reactions of their wedding...Many people have uninterested MOH's.

My MOH had to keep asking me,-when are we doing this, when do you want me to come help you, i dont even ask her for help she is on top of things before i am and always offering with everything.

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That's good, you are much smarter than I. Now that I look back I def made decisions too quickly but I was so excited to be engaged. Already we are thinking about changing the wedding date, I have one friend who complained that she wasn't the maid of honor (what a biotch right?), and Ihave family members that I am being told SHOULD be in my BP, but why should people get to tell me what to do right?
It is very stressful and to be honest I never wanted to have a wedding and people are making me want to cancel it! I thought with so much time to plan it would be easier...but I think it is the exact opposite, with less time you get things done and there is less time spent being stressed (not to say that you aren't stressed)

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I'm sorry you are experiencing this. The same thing has happened to me. Only people tell me what I shouldn't do and shoot down all my ideas. It's funny because I talk to my father the most about plans! I am daddy's little girl!!

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Posted by LuvMyAlfonse

I'm spinning off. My biggest pet peeve is people who misspell words and use poor grammar in business e-mails. It's like nails on a chalkboard to me. Especially misspelled words. Every e-mail program on the face of the earth has spell check. Why can't people use it?

And when people mix up then/than, where/wear, form/from. Kills me. Especially in business e-mails.

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Me too but I'm a hypocrite! I hardly even spell check when I'm posting on the boards! I just figure everyone will figure it out.

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Posted by KellymKuehn

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Posted by Espo22

Actually this is why they say DONT ASK YOUR BP right after your engagement...They say wait a few months, this way you see who is excited about your wedding, who is helpful and there for you...Everyone thought i was crazy when i said to wait but from what i see with SOOO many people, they are sooo surprised to their friends reactions of their wedding...Many people have uninterested MOH's.

My MOH had to keep asking me,-when are we doing this, when do you want me to come help you, i dont even ask her for help she is on top of things before i am and always offering with everything.

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That's good, you are much smarter than I. Now that I look back I def made decisions too quickly but I was so excited to be engaged. Already we are thinking about changing the wedding date, I have one friend who complained that she wasn't the maid of honor (what a biotch right?), and Ihave family members that I am being told SHOULD be in my BP, but why should people get to tell me what to do right?
It is very stressful and to be honest I never wanted to have a wedding and people are making me want to cancel it! I thought with so much time to plan it would be easier...but I think it is the exact opposite, with less time you get things done and there is less time spent being stressed (not to say that you aren't stressed)

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Well i actually had read this and thought about it and realized it was a great idea. I know its hard, and people don't realize what its like to plan a wedding. Sorry you are going through this

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Posted by Autumn08

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Posted by KellymKuehn

I am one of the people who posted on the BHB board about my MOH. It isn't that I wanted to 'demote' her but the thing is the MOH (while not a wedding planner) is someone who should be excited about the wedding with you! And obviously it isn't the most important thing in their life but if you ask them for help and they act like you are bothering them, then maybe they shouldn't be the MOH or a Bridesmaid anymore. I don't want someone bringing me down while I am trying to plan what is supposed to be the Happiest day of my life.
Also, if you keep someone in your bridal party who isn't happy with being in the bridal party then it could ruin friendships. I think it is better to make sure that everyone is happy with there part in the wedding if they aren't save the wedding and save the friendship by giving them an out and letting them know you are OK if they don't want to be a part of it anymore! Wedding planning is hard enough...

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I agree. And I'm glad everything worked out with your friend! 16 years is a long time! It's just the wording that some people use that upsets me! It wasn't your post that upset me.

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yeah i hadn't seen your post either about firing your MOH

i just wanted to say that i think sometimes ladies on boards come off like they are 'ordering' their BP to do things or something...but once the big day is getting closer...things can be VERY stressful when you feel like you're not getting help.

i remember when i was like a year or so away and i thought the same thing--'why are they all biitching about their BP?? why'd you ask that person ANYWAY!' and now that i'm a month away--i totally understand these sentiments. when your big days draw near, you'd be surprised how the personalities of some of your BM's will change! it's crazy

example: a good friend of mine is having a shower, and the girls she thought were her best friends....have done nothing but FIGHT about the shower details...and basically left the shower up to someone else to handle--cause they didn't think it was their job or something. my friend is crushed and she hates that this happened. she never thought she'd have such a biitchy BP!

your right

Oh the joys of wedding planning!!!!
What does everyone think about having a Maid AND MAtron of Honor? Is it good because there are 2 people to share whatever tasks there are as the important people/? or is it bad because they will both try to be in charge? Being a girl is so annoying, we are so catty?!?!?!