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Ok, this is sticky. My parents are paying for some of our wedding and his parents are paying for none (they are divorced). My mom and I are going to look at photographers in the next few weeks and she is paying for the photographer. So she calls me tonight to tell me that usually the package that photographers give comes with two parent albums and she does not want to pay for his mom's album considering she is not contributing at all to the wedding. In a way, I kind of agree with my mom, but how do I phrase it to his mom?? I really think if she gives us nothing and she has the few hundred that it costs for her own personal album (if she even wants one) then she should buy it herself. Its not like she is chipping in at all to help us through this wedding. Am I wrong for thinking like this? How do i phrase it to her?
My family is paying for most. FH and I are paying the rest and his family is giving us a gift that we will use to make up the other remaining percent. Personally, I do not feel that my family should HAVE to pay for their album and i told FH so. They can afford an album if they want it.
It really depends on what type of person she is. Will she get offended if you ask her to pay for it? If so you are going to have to deal with her the rest of life then I it will be a good idea to give as a gift. I know my FH wouldn't ask his Mom he would just pay for it himself. So I know not even to ask. So I am going to give the album to his parents as a gift.
we didn't his parents paid for nothing, not even gave us a gift, i got mine picture frames with pics of us and gave them their fave pics
Posted by 103005FallBride
Neither of our parents are contributing to the wedding...
Parents albums come with our package...there is no way that I would not get our parents an album...
I personally think that is horrible...
Posted by LisaJill
Posted by 103005FallBride
Neither of our parents are contributing to the wedding...
Parents albums come with our package...there is no way that I would not get our parents an album...
I personally think that is horrible...
Ok, got the picture but I think using the word 'horrible' to describe my potential conduct is a bit extreme and dramatic.
I Personally think that it is horrible to attend a son's wedding and not pitch in so much as a dime and then to expect to get a wedding album. That is what I think is horrible. I think that if your son's wedding is important to you then you should have no problem doing something (even something tiny!!!!!) to show your support and excitement and to show that you want to be a PART of the affair!
it's your FH's mother, you should buy it for them, its the right thing to do and NOT worth an arguement
Posted by LisaJill
Posted by 103005FallBride
Neither of our parents are contributing to the wedding...
Parents albums come with our package...there is no way that I would not get our parents an album...
I personally think that is horrible...
Ok, got the picture but I think using the word 'horrible' to describe my potential conduct is a bit extreme and dramatic.
I Personally think that it is horrible to attend a son's wedding and not pitch in so much as a dime and then to expect to get a wedding album. That is what I think is horrible. I think that if your son's wedding is important to you then you should have no problem doing something (even something tiny!!!!!) to show your support and excitement and to show that you want to be a PART of the affair!
Posted by 103005FallBride
Posted by LisaJill
Posted by 103005FallBride
Neither of our parents are contributing to the wedding...
Parents albums come with our package...there is no way that I would not get our parents an album...
I personally think that is horrible...
Ok, got the picture but I think using the word 'horrible' to describe my potential conduct is a bit extreme and dramatic.
I Personally think that it is horrible to attend a son's wedding and not pitch in so much as a dime and then to expect to get a wedding album. That is what I think is horrible. I think that if your son's wedding is important to you then you should have no problem doing something (even something tiny!!!!!) to show your support and excitement and to show that you want to be a PART of the affair!
I'm sorry...I didn't mean for it to upset you. I'm being honest. Both my Dad and FH's parent's cannot contribute. They do not have a dime to contribute. We do not have a problem with that.... We're both adults and make money and in no way feel our parents SHOULD contribute to our wedding. Not even a dime. They're both completely excited and share with their love and support. To us by giving us money does not show support and excitement.
That's JMHO.
Posted by ssdbk
I don't think she would assume you are buying it for her. We got an a la carte package and both parents know that. I showed my mom a book I made on OFOTO for about $35 and she said to just make her something similar after the wedding. I'd say to just do that for your FMIL.
Posted by LisaJill
Posted by 103005FallBride
Posted by LisaJill
Posted by 103005FallBride
Neither of our parents are contributing to the wedding...
Parents albums come with our package...there is no way that I would not get our parents an album...
I personally think that is horrible...
Ok, got the picture but I think using the word 'horrible' to describe my potential conduct is a bit extreme and dramatic.
I Personally think that it is horrible to attend a son's wedding and not pitch in so much as a dime and then to expect to get a wedding album. That is what I think is horrible. I think that if your son's wedding is important to you then you should have no problem doing something (even something tiny!!!!!) to show your support and excitement and to show that you want to be a PART of the affair!
I'm sorry...I didn't mean for it to upset you. I'm being honest. Both my Dad and FH's parent's cannot contribute. They do not have a dime to contribute. We do not have a problem with that.... We're both adults and make money and in no way feel our parents SHOULD contribute to our wedding. Not even a dime. They're both completely excited and share with their love and support. To us by giving us money does not show support and excitement.
That's JMHO.
Well I guess you are just a better person than I. Am i to assume that holidays at your home consist of jewelry boxes made of popsicle sticks and necklaces made of macaroni? Seeing as gifts mean little as long as there is love.
Posted by 103005FallBride
Posted by LisaJill
Posted by 103005FallBride
Neither of our parents are contributing to the wedding...
Parents albums come with our package...there is no way that I would not get our parents an album...
I personally think that is horrible...
Ok, got the picture but I think using the word 'horrible' to describe my potential conduct is a bit extreme and dramatic.
I Personally think that it is horrible to attend a son's wedding and not pitch in so much as a dime and then to expect to get a wedding album. That is what I think is horrible. I think that if your son's wedding is important to you then you should have no problem doing something (even something tiny!!!!!) to show your support and excitement and to show that you want to be a PART of the affair!
I'm sorry...I didn't mean for it to upset you. I'm being honest. Both my Dad and FH's parent's cannot contribute. They do not have a dime to contribute. We do not have a problem with that.... We're both adults and make money and in no way feel our parents SHOULD contribute to our wedding. Not even a dime. They're both completely excited and share with their love and support. To us by giving us money does not show support and excitement.
That's JMHO.
Posted by 12-3Princess
Hey
Want my two cents?
Definitely get her the album no matter who is paying for the wedding. Whether you and FH pay for the album, or your parents, this is not a battle you want to start. There will be plenty of others...
It should be included with your photographer's package anyway. Even if it's not, you DEFINITELY don't want to leave the mother of the groom with no wedding album! Trust me, you will not hear the end of it for the rest of your lives, and it's so not worth it in the long run.![]()
Posted by Goldi1021
Posted by 103005FallBride
Posted by LisaJill
Posted by 103005FallBride
Neither of our parents are contributing to the wedding...
Parents albums come with our package...there is no way that I would not get our parents an album...
I personally think that is horrible...
Ok, got the picture but I think using the word 'horrible' to describe my potential conduct is a bit extreme and dramatic.
I Personally think that it is horrible to attend a son's wedding and not pitch in so much as a dime and then to expect to get a wedding album. That is what I think is horrible. I think that if your son's wedding is important to you then you should have no problem doing something (even something tiny!!!!!) to show your support and excitement and to show that you want to be a PART of the affair!
I'm sorry...I didn't mean for it to upset you. I'm being honest. Both my Dad and FH's parent's cannot contribute. They do not have a dime to contribute. We do not have a problem with that.... We're both adults and make money and in no way feel our parents SHOULD contribute to our wedding. Not even a dime. They're both completely excited and share with their love and support. To us by giving us money does not show support and excitement.
That's JMHO.
Both FH and I are 35 year old professionals who are fortunate enough to have my family pay for the wedding. This is what MY FAMILY WANTED TO DO. These were the things that my father lived to do for his children. My only regret is that he will not be there to see the fruits of his labor. Do I feel guilty about it? NOT ONE BIT!!! And if in the future, our financial situation permits us to do the same for our children, then I would do it in a heart beat.
Unless you know each and every nuance of every family situation, then what is 'right and wrong' cannot and may not be applicable. In many of our cases, it is NOT cut and dry. There are promises made and broken. There are compromises made along the way that are hurtful to our hearts and heads. I don't think is fair to generalize. What is good for one is not always good for the other.
