pictures with limo/SIL trouble... why is she such a pain in the tush?

AlmostMrsKelly Posted: Jun 26, 2006 09:30 AM

pictures with limo/SIL trouble... why is she such a pain in the tush?

okay, so my SIL has been a pain in my rear every step of the way. the latest, is that she doesn't want to come to my mother's house before the wedding. now, she's not in my wedding but my brother is an usher, their son is my junior groomsman and their daughter is my flower girl. so that's 3 people in my wedding party. i want pics taken at the house though and with the limos and i want everyone in the wedding party (at least... she was told that she is more than welcome to ride in the limo as well) photographer/videographed getting out of the limos, going into the church, etc. so now because SHE doesn't want to, i won't have any of those pics. talking to my brother is like talking to a wall - he goes along with whatever she says, so that's no use. i understand it may be a little out of her way but it's one day out of her life. she's going on about how it's a 'long day' for the kids and doesn't want them waiting around for the limos. i told her that i would tell her when the limos are picking us up and they could just come a half an hour before to get my nephew's and my brother's boutineer on and my neice's headpiece (all coming from the florist, being delivered to my parents that morning). but she's hemming and hawing and coming up with excuses. hello, SHE asked for those kids to be in the freakin' wedding party and has fought me every step of the way (about my niece's dress, hair, headpiece, my nephew's tux, and now this). they are not babies... they are 10 and 6. there will be a bridal suite that they can go play in, nap in, whatever, if it is such a long day for them. no one else in the wedding party has a problem doing whatever or being wherever. it's just them. when i told her the wedding date, she was like 'ooh, i hope my high school reunion isn't the night before'. when i told her about the rehearsal and how they are all invited for the dinner but i at least need them at the church, she was like 'as long as nothing else comes up that i can't control.' why can't you just say 'okay, i'll be there'??? now with the limos, she'll 'let me know'. AAAHHH. any advice for me? am i being unreasonable?
what is everyone else doing in terms of pics like that... does anyone else have people in their wedding who can't/won't be there beforehand for pics.
i know that in the scheme of things, it shouldn't matter. but her and my brother have been such a pain through all of this. they have been my only source of stress (and a lot of it). i just want to cry. and scream.

maria5-6-05 Posted: Jun 26, 2006 02:15 PM

Re: pictures with limo/SIL trouble... why is she such a pain in the tush?

I'm soo sorry you have to deal with this. When I asked people to be in my wedding I assumed that they understood the obligations that came along with it. It's an honour to be in someone's wedding. People in the bridal party ALWAYS come to the rehearsal and RD. People in the bridal party always come to one of the houses (Groom or Bride) prior to the church.

IMO you need to speak to your brother again and let him know the importance of this to you. She had a wedding so she should sympathize with you on this one.

October Bliss Posted: Jun 26, 2006 02:33 PM

Re: pictures with limo/SIL trouble... why is she such a pain in the tush?

What I would do at this point is reminder her that she asked for her kids to be a part of the wedding party, and now that it is time for their responsibilities to come to fruition you expect them to be at the proper location and the proper time for picture taking, walking down the aisle and anything and everything else that being in the BP entails. Remind her she asked for it - she got it

AlmostMrsKelly Posted: Jun 26, 2006 04:03 PM

Re: pictures with limo/SIL trouble... why is she such a pain in the tush?

my brother is (almost) worse than her. i asked him to be an usher and he orginially said no. that he couldn't afford to rent a tux (which is knew was bull), and that he thought it was ridiculous that my mom had to get walked down the aisle. ain't that part sweet? he's always catered to his wife and never stood up for his family. and this is a 40yr old grown man and a 37yr old grown woman. they had their wedding in 1990 and neither me or my sister were asked to be a part of the wedding. i posted this about my brother after he originally said no to being an usher... in a way i knew to expect this from him. but i just thought that since it was his little sister's wedding, maybe it'd be different. so anyway, talking to him is pointless. she has fought me tooth and nail on everything. she wanted to pick out a different flower girl dress than i picked out, she wanted to get the headpiece herself, she wanted to use a different tux place for my nephew than what we're using for all the tuxes. i've won each fight... but it shouldn't freakin' be like this. you don't become a part of someone's wedding and then think you're going to plan it all yourself. you don't make demands. you don't go against what everyone else is doing and make every single thing stressful and a project and an argument. basically she wants her kids to be included but get to pick out what they wear, 'maybe' show up to the rehersal, and just meet us at the church. who cares about the thousands of dollars that's being spent on photos and i'm going to have 3 people from my bridal party missing from them?! ugh. i get knots in my stomach just thinking of any of it. it's enough to make me want the wedding just to be here and be over so i don't have to deal with this anymore. and perhaps tell them both how i REALLY feel.