planning woes--help **UPDATE**--need advice

Well first of all, welcome and congrats on your engagement! I dont know any place in Manhattan to have a reception but I am sure there are a ton of places. There is this for LI locations: LI RH search and it gives you a lot of different details about the reception halls on Long Island. As far as planning goes, you will get tons of ideas on here as far as where other people are in their planning process, how to save money, etc so stick around, read the boards and enjoy! If you ever need anything we are here to help!!

thank you. i just need to hear 'it will be fine'

lol

It'll be okay. I didn't book a hall for at least three - four months after I get engaged. I was trying to enjoy the moment. I didn't even book most of my other major vendors until Jan and Feb of this year. You have more than enough time. Take a deep breath and relax. Best of luck

First off congrats!

Don't worry or feel discouraged, everyone has been in the same shoes at some point or another... I'm still majorly confused too... FH & I got engaged like 3 months ago and we too are still NOWHERE in our planning... and we're not even sure WHEN the date will be lol... we're also confused on where to have it (we're planning to pay for it ourselves too.. we didn't want to take advantage of our parents either)... and i'm totallyyy the same way... price tag concious... since this is our money we're using and all.. it becomes serious business lol.... I look at these price tags and I'm like WHAT!! this must be a typo lol and I wanna pass out lol... I'm like maybe I can DIY everything!!! lol.... so we're both kinda in the same boat lol... but we are taking it one day at a time... and so should you.... everything will be ok....

(if it were up to FH & I we'd just elope in vegas lol unfortunately, our families are too old-fashioned for that)

This site has a TREMENDOUS amount of info, and these ladies are amazing! very helpful... before long, it will become an addiction lol

Take a deep breath. It's normal to be overwhelmed... I think that's why this site is so successful. We help each other. Fall 2008 is a year and a half away - you have plenty of time!

You know you want a hotel in the fall, so I'd start there. Post a question about NYC hotels that host weddings; I'm sure you'll get a ton of responses. Take your FH and go check out them out. You'll start to notice what you like.

Hotels and reception halls are affiliated with other vendors, like bands/djs and photographers and limos. This will give you a place to start with those vendors.

GOOD LUCK! And welcome to the obsession that is LIW!

you guys are so sweet. thank you for the advice (and support!)

Congratulations on your engagement!

It's normal to feel overwhelmed, so don't sweat it. You don't have to set a date right now. Give yourselves time to adjust and think about how you want to proceed and then go from there. There are so many places you can hold your reception that it will take some time and leg-work. Here's a site that might help you out--it lists some places in NYC Wedding Sites .

There are plenty of great ideas here to help you out and save money, so take advantage.

CONGRATS!!

Don't worry!! It'll be just fine FH and I didn't decide a date until 6 months after we got engaged! And the only way we picked a date was by going to RHs that we liked and finding their availabilities and then saying to ourselves...hey..this date sounds good..let's do it! haha.

Here's a link from NYC & Co to get you started. In my very early stages of planning (before we knew LI was where we were going to have the wedding), I submitted an RFP through this link. Someone from NYC & Company contacted me to talk about the details of my wedding, and then sent me a list of suggestions as to where I could have the reception and ceremony. It was a really great (FREE!) service that gave me an idea of prices etc around NYC.

Good luck! We're here whenever you need us!!!

You should sit down with your parents and see what they are willing to contribute. Also think about how many people ou haev to invite. The numbers you come up with should be able to help you narrow it down to what places you can and want to ahev your wedding. Also rememebr that a friday night and sunday afternoon wedding will be cheaper thana saturday night wedding.

we know its going to be about 150-200 guests, and I know my parents budget.

Thing is, my FH is DEAD SET AGAINST a Sunday wedding and pretty much against a Friday night wedding (hes SO DIFFICULT!)

but i understand his reasonings... however, if we can get a beautiful place in manhattan we could not afford otherwise, i have no problem with a sunday wedding.

honestly, i HATE this.

I have been engaged for 7 months and counting and do not have my rh booked, although I hope it will be soon.

Sit down with your parents and go over what they are going to contribute so you know what you are working with. This way you know what you will be responsible for beyong there contribution.

NY City wedding are typically more expensive then Li weddings but there are a lot of places out there that will work with your budget.

There is a wedding magazine called NY Weddings and another called Brides New York. I have found them both to be great resources especially for the NY city area. Also, you can go on the Knot.com and check out real weddings for Ny area and get and idea of what some places look like.

When you call, just tell them, ex. 'I am looking to have a wedding on a Saturday evening in March 2008, can you tell me how much it is per head, is there a site fee, what does it include, etc...

Usually they will just offer all the info once you tell them what you are looking for. Go onto there websites and take a look at the pictures. Most times they have sample menus and sometimes they have pricing as well. Send them an email requesting more info, this way you can weed out places w/o making phone calls.

Do not be afraid to negotiate when you do find something you like. It can't hurt. Almost all the places I asked were willing to cut down the price per head.

Good luck, and try not to stress to much. This is supposed to be a happy time so try your best to remember that. Good luck and Congratulations!!

Here are some questions to ask:

-Break down of payments
-Price per person-tax-gratuity (break-down)
-Does this include top shelf liquor
-Cake included?
-Is there a cake cutting fee? How much pp
-Viennese hour-hour much to add it?
-Linens included (table linens and chair covers-what are your choices in color)
-Candles and votives allowed
-How many servers per table
-How many bartenders
-Will there be menus on the table for the guests-everything on the menu WILL BE available
-are there other weddings going on at the same time
-is there a photo area
-Bridal suite
-How many bridal attendants
-Is there a tasting of courses and cake (if it’s included?)
-Can I put in requests for menu items?
-Will I get to meet my maitre‘d?
-Does the gratuity included in price go towards the workers?
-Will there be a tip jar on the bar?
-What is the cancellation policy?
-What upgrades are offered if chosen
-Valet parking in house
-Will our bathroom be shared with another wedding (if there is another wedding?)
-Cost for ceremony on grounds
-Is there a minimum required? If so, what happens if I do not meet the minimum?
-What are the requirements from vendors?
Things to possibly have thrown in-ice sculpture, table linens, extra station, extra entrée, cake cutting fee waived
Contract: Time, date, rooms being used for CH and Recep. Breakdown of menu, any add-ons, liquor (top shelf), minimum agreed on, linen choice (if included).

The RH will be asking you about how many people to expect, so that's fine. Some will also ask you how much you want to spend, but oftentimes they don't. I never told any RH how much our budget was and how much we wanted to spend. DO NOT BE AFRAID TO NEGOTIATE with your RH. More often than not, they can cut you a deal. We did this with our RH and initially they said they couldn't do anything but when we went over pricing, she knocked off a decent amount.

I was on the same boat you were. . . . new to all of this. . . to figure out a date we just went with when we wanted it, no real significance but it gives us enough time to plan (i'm guessing a year at least but i've seen it be done in shorter time). .. Once we got a 'more or less' date, I went online to look around. There are so many sites that will sort RH by capacity, location, price. . . its great. I got a short list of places i wanted to visit based on those stats and by visiting their websites to get a better picture of the place and their menus. Then I called up a couple places and just said 'hi, I would like to make an appointment to visit your hall.' They will ask when you are planning it, maybe a few more questions but negotiating only comes after you visit the place and find one that you really like. BUT its good to have an idea of the place before you visit it, so you're not wasting your time :) Hope this helps!

ETA: oh, and on this site you will find plenty of threads of what the brides have been quotes at all different places at dif. times of year. So, be sure to check in with previous posts!

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Posted by carolinep24

*EDIT*
I just got off the phone with a Hotel in Manhattan and I feel like a complete IDIOT. I dont even know what to ask, or how to ask it.
I know my guest count will *probably* be around 150-200 and I know my parent's budget for food & drink is around 15,000 (or possibly 100 per head)

Is it rude for me to mention these things (on the board AND to the Banquet Manager?)

I have NO CLUE what questions to ask.

THANKFULLY, I'm not in business b/c I would make the WORST salesman.

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i had my wedding in the city. i calls TONS of halls/hotels and i didn't find ANY place that had $100 pp. the lowest i found i think was about $135pp and way upwards and it didn't include as much food as the li places, so it would be even more than that to add to ch, dinner choices, etc. i also looked into having a sit-down dinner (ie a steakhouse or some hotels) and the problem with a sit-down was that it is an additional charge for open bar (a lot additonal). i think bunnybride is also doing the city, she might have info on places.

just ask them if the date you want is open, about how many people you will have and if they can accomodate that, and what the pp is. also if it's open bar and sometimes they'll email you a menu if you ask. then you figure out what places you can afford based on your budget, # of people you expect, and the pp price.

There's a magazine called Locations I think that you can buy at Barnes and Nobles or Borders. I found that to be really helpful b/c it had listings for the entire NY metro area with a range to expect to pay. I was able to rule out or rule in RH's based on that book. The other helpful thing about that book is that is shows places that cater weddings that you might not normally think of.

The benefit you have right now is if you want to book a fall wedding for this year, you can probably get a heavily discounted price as it is so late already and the hall will probably be willing to work with you just to sell the date. Good luck!