please critique my invitation wording. . . (please, don't hold back!!) updated, one more question please. please see my last post.

if u see anything that should be captialized or misspelled please let me know. or is something sounds funny, please let me know.

i'm doing pocketfolds and heres the invitation part:

Together with their parents
Tricia Middle Last
and
Joseph Middle Last
request the honour of your presence
at their marriage on
Sunday, the nineteenth day of August
two thousand and seven
at four 'clock in the afternoon
St Francis of Assisi Roman Catholic Church
29 Clay Pitts Road
Greenlawn, New York

Heres the accomodations insert:
Rooms are reserved for your convenience
at a rate of $109/night
The Executive Inn
Jericho Turnpike
Woodbury, NY
Please contact the reservations department at
516-932-5555
Please reference
The Bride/Groom Wedding

There will be a free shuttle bus for the hotel guests to and from the reception hall.
The shuttle will run from six o’clock to half past six and half past eleven to midnight

Heres the reception insert:
Please join us for
cocktails at 6:30
Dinner and Dancing to follow
The Woodbury Country Club
884 Jericho Turnpike
Woodbury, New York

heres the directions insert: (i'm going to include directions from the church to the RH and hotel in the church program, shoud i include general directions to the hotel to?)

To the Church:
Long Island Expressway to Exit 51N
Merge onto Deer Park Road / Deer Park Avenue
Deer Park Road / Deer Park Avenue becomes CR-35
Turn slight right onto Broadway/ Broadway Greenlawn / CR-86
Turn sharp right onto Cuba Hill Road
Turn Left onto Clay Pitts Road
Church is two tenths of a mile on right

To the Woodbury Country Club:
Take the Long Island Expressway to the Seaford Oyster Bay Expressway North (135 N) Exit 36B towards Syosset
Merge onto E Jericho Turnpike / NY-25via Exit 14E toward Woodbury Country Club about two miles on right side

Heres the RSVP Card:

The favour of a reply is requested
on or before July 12th

M ____________

__ persons will attend
__ will not attend




thanks soo much taking the time to read this!!

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Posted by diva7531

looks good to me, looks like a lot of work!

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thanks it was.

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Posted by Summer07Bride

you forgot the 'o' in 'o'clock'

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oh good call, thanks!!

Everything else looks good

Here are the changes I'd make.

Sunday, the nineteenth day of August
(I would take out 'day' here so it says the nineteenth of August)
two thousand and seven
at four 'clock in the afternoon
(as mentioned it should say four o'clock)


Heres the accomodations insert:

There will be a free shuttle bus for the hotel guests to and from the reception hall.
The shuttle will run from six o’clock to half past six and half past eleven to midnight
(This sounds and looks a bit confusing so I would change it to: will run from six o'clock to half past six and then again from half past eleven to midnight)

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Posted by MrsQ-in2007

Here are the changes I'd make.

Sunday, the nineteenth day of August
(I would take out 'day' here so it says the nineteenth of August)
two thousand and seven
at four 'clock in the afternoon
(as mentioned it should say four o'clock)


Heres the accomodations insert:

There will be a free shuttle bus for the hotel guests to and from the reception hall.
The shuttle will run from six o’clock to half past six and half past eleven to midnight
(This sounds and looks a bit confusing so I would change it to: will run from six o'clock to half past six and then again from half past eleven to midnight)

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that does sound better thanks!!!

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Posted by tricia3381

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Posted by MrsQ-in2007

Here are the changes I'd make.

Sunday, the nineteenth day of August
(I would take out 'day' here so it says the nineteenth of August)
two thousand and seven
at four 'clock in the afternoon
(as mentioned it should say four o'clock)


Heres the accomodations insert:

There will be a free shuttle bus for the hotel guests to and from the reception hall.
The shuttle will run from six o’clock to half past six and half past eleven to midnight
(This sounds and looks a bit confusing so I would change it to: will run from six o'clock to half past six and then again from half past eleven to midnight)

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that does sound better thanks!!!

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You're welcome!

I would change 'at their marriage on'
to
'at the celebration of their marriage'
and move 'on' to the next line.

It looks and sounds really great, good work!

On the reception card I would put

Cocktails at Half past Six in the Evening
Dinner and Dancing to follow

Something like that... I don't think you should put 6:30 in numbers... ya know?!!?

***Also... I don't know if you want to add it... I did on mine but on the RSVP card... I also put

___ Number of persons

So I would know if they were trying to bring like 15 people with them and I could call them out right away and there would be no funny business. heheheh I didn't want people to just assume that they could bring their children even if the invite was addressed just to them.

Get it? Am I making sense???

1.The year should be written Two Thousand Seven take out the and.

2. You don't have to put the church address just the town and state.

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Posted by prinses777

On the reception card I would put

Cocktails at Half past Six in the Evening
Dinner and Dancing to follow

Something like that... I don't think you should put 6:30 in numbers... ya know?!!?

***Also... I don't know if you want to add it... I did on mine but on the RSVP card... I also put

___ Number of persons

So I would know if they were trying to bring like 15 people with them and I could call them out right away and there would be no funny business. heheheh I didn't want people to just assume that they could bring their children even if the invite was addressed just to them.

Get it? Am I making sense???

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then did u fill in the # prior to sending the invite?

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Posted by tricia3381

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Posted by prinses777

On the reception card I would put

Cocktails at Half past Six in the Evening
Dinner and Dancing to follow

Something like that... I don't think you should put 6:30 in numbers... ya know?!!?

***Also... I don't know if you want to add it... I did on mine but on the RSVP card... I also put

___ Number of persons

So I would know if they were trying to bring like 15 people with them and I could call them out right away and there would be no funny business. heheheh I didn't want people to just assume that they could bring their children even if the invite was addressed just to them.

Get it? Am I making sense???

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then did u fill in the # prior to sending the invite?

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No I am letting them fill in the number, but if they try to put like 5 ppl, when we are only inviting the parents which is 2... they will be getting a phone call.

I just don't want people to check off accepting... and then I have no clue how many people are coming...

Maybe I am super anal... I also put Adult Recpetion on the RSVP so it would be right there when people are sending it back...

I don't know if you are having children thats why I didn't say that before...

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Posted by ammy1403

you and FH names should be first then together with their parents. All else looks good.

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Actually, I would leave it as is with 'Together with their parents' first, then your names. I think it looks better and is the more common way to see this done.

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Posted by prinses777

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Posted by tricia3381

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Posted by prinses777

On the reception card I would put

Cocktails at Half past Six in the Evening
Dinner and Dancing to follow

Something like that... I don't think you should put 6:30 in numbers... ya know?!!?

***Also... I don't know if you want to add it... I did on mine but on the RSVP card... I also put

___ Number of persons

So I would know if they were trying to bring like 15 people with them and I could call them out right away and there would be no funny business. heheheh I didn't want people to just assume that they could bring their children even if the invite was addressed just to them.

Get it? Am I making sense???

---

then did u fill in the # prior to sending the invite?

---

No I am letting them fill in the number, but if they try to put like 5 ppl, when we are only inviting the parents which is 2... they will be getting a phone call.

I just don't want people to check off accepting... and then I have no clue how many people are coming...

Maybe I am super anal... I also put Adult Recpetion on the RSVP so it would be right there when people are sending it back...

I don't know if you are having children thats why I didn't say that before...

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can someone please post an example of their rsvp card?

i'm torn, i feel like adding the number of attending line opens me up unexpected invites, but i also know some people might just check off a line and i'll be like ok, so how many people are coming?

bump please see my question re: rsvp cards. thanks!

Here is my RSVP card...

The courtesy of a reply is requested
by May 2, 2007

M_______________________

_____accept with pleasure
_____decline with regret

Number of persons_______