So ill try to make it short. I found out FH met this girl at a bar thru somefriends he hangs there with during football season. this girls got his tel thru a mutual friend there. my fh and her have been texting. we have family plan so i can see the numbers. i saw that the 2 days they were texting he initiated the texting. i confront him, he says hes sorry it was dumb,he wouldnt do anything to jeporadize us, he knows i can see the records so he just took it as a friendship.he shouldnt of done it, or should of told me but it was nothing he swears he loves me and only me. we are getting married in 8months, everything is booked. he said he told this girl he was getting married but they were just talking like friends nothing more. so i have this girls tel.. would u call her and ask? or no? would u still go on with the wedding and forgive fh and rebuild trust or would u just leave and move on with your life?
lori7570
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Re: please girls i need opinions and help!!!!!
i don't think I would call her. Do you believe FH that this was a innocent thing?
08JulyBride
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Re: please girls i need opinions and help!!!!!
If he said it was nothing, apologized and said it won't happen again.. I personally would leave it at that. You should be able to trust him in your relationship... Was this the only situation like this or were there others that lead you do not trust him?
pa56
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Re: please girls i need opinions and help!!!!!
I wouldn't call the girl because it isn't really about her. It's about your future husband and trust.
Do you believe he's sorry and that he didn't mean anything by it?
cantsay
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Re: please girls i need opinions and help!!!!!
in the beginning of us dating he was with another girl. so the trust is here but will always be alittle rocky.its been years tho and i trully didnt think he would ever do anything else. he even said after all we been thru, i grew up, i want a family and i want it with u. i would never do that again.
pa56
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Re: please girls i need opinions and help!!!!!
Posted by cantsay
in the beginning of us dating he was with another girl. so the trust is here but will always be alittle rocky.its been years tho and i trully didnt think he would ever do anything else. he even said after all we been thru, i grew up, i want a family and i want it with u. i would never do that again.
Perhaps is his way of 'sewing his oats...' You know - innocent flirting before he gets married. It doesn't mean he doesn't love you or want to marry you.
If you believe him, I would drop it.
08JulyBride
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Re: please girls i need opinions and help!!!!!
Posted by cantsay
in the beginning of us dating he was with another girl. so the trust is here but will always be alittle rocky.its been years tho and i trully didnt think he would ever do anything else. he even said after all we been thru, i grew up, i want a family and i want it with u. i would never do that again.
then I would leave it at that and trust him, definitely do not call the girl...
Jna2010
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Re: please girls i need opinions and help!!!!!
Posted by 08JulyBride
If he said it was nothing, apologized and said it won't happen again.. I personally would leave it at that. You should be able to trust him in your relationship... Was this the only situation like this or were there others that lead you do not trust him?
ITA, i would NOT call the girl..... it will realy blow up the situtation
Sandradv121
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Re: please girls i need opinions and help!!!!!
OMG! I am so sorry you have to deal with this. Ok the thing is do you trust him enough to think that this will never happen again? If you do, than you need to tell him to lose that number and move on in life without communicating with her.
If the there is a major trust issue and if it were me, and if I felt that she was threat to my relationship and marriage, I would confront her . Girls are very tricky to deal with. If she is cool and whatever, than a simple phone call to her would be just that; a simple phone call. Introduce yourself, state the reason why you're calling her, and stay strong and nice. Just say that you were a little curious about who she was and stuff and if she is a nice person, than she will be comforting and understanding. But if she puts the claws out, than you need to lay the law down. And make her go away.
I would also tell FH that he needs to stop the crap. There is no reason to make new 'girl-friends' are bars. And for the fact that she went through the trouble to get his number, she sounds like trouble. What can be innocent, can actually turn out to be a bad thing.
FH was very wrong to do something like this. You need to make sure he understands this and that you won't tolerate this at all in the future. A marriage is built on love and trust. You have to tell him that. And that girl needs to back off NOW.
Please let me know the outcome. I know this is an awful feeling and a terrible thing to have to experience. Before jumping the gun, let him fix the drama first. If he loves you, than he will make sure that the problem is fixed before you have to intervine.
Lsorrent
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Re: please girls i need opinions and help!!!!!
I wouldn't call. I had a similar situation. FH and I are also on a family plan, so I saw that he was sending and receiving NUMEROUS texts to/from a number I didn't know at ridiculous hours of the night. I confronted him about it. He said it was this girl (who I know of, but have never met) that was an ex in like junior high. He said she's been having a tough time in life and he was just trying to console her and let her vent. Apparently this girl is living at home with her mother and 2 kids from a relationship with a married man who broke it off to stay with his wife and move to Florida. Yea, that disturbing.
So knowing that FH is the way he is (ridiculously sincere and generous) I let it go once he explained it to me. I know he would never jeopardize our relationship, and certainly not for this girl. I trust him wholeheartedly, I was just upset that he hadn't mentioned it to me at all.
I think if you trust him and believe him, you should let it go. But if deep down you're suspicious, try talking to him some more about it. I wouldn't call the number though, because that's just like going behind his back. I'm sure you wouldn't want him doing that to you.
wo0shply
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Re: please girls i need opinions and help!!!!!
I would not call the girl this will really cause problems.
cantsay
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thanks girls, im really upset about this why are guys such stupid a-holes sometimes..damn i wish the looked like men but had a womens brain..
Sandradv121
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Don't we all wish that lol.
stinenandy2010
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Re: please girls i need opinions and help!!!!!
don't call the girl, no need to start drama, if your fh said nothing happened, then you have to trust him....
Im a Pepper
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Aww, hun, I'm so sorry. I could see how upsetting and stressful this could be. I don't think calling this girl is the right thing to do, but I hope this was just an innocent friendship on FH's part and hopefully you trust him and know him well enough to know the truth. Good luck!
nessie0814
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Re: please girls i need opinions and help!!!!!
i Maybe would call her, onestly I know its not a good thing but I dont trust anyone, you cant trust someone 100% because thats when you get hurt, I would never put anything past anyone i've seen to much and too many things that men do and get away with, I would rather know the truth now then after getting married, you have to remember your fh is not gonna tell you the truth he will tell you what you wanna hear, im not trying to be mean but my sister was with her ex for 10 years we were all so close and my my sister and my whole family would have never thought that he would cheat, well he walked out on my sister and was cheating with his secratary and is still with that girl to this day, my sister got very very sick, my sister always trusted him and let him do what ever he wanted, she never thought he would betray her like that, neither did I, so I would just make sure.
Sandradv121
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Re: please girls i need opinions and help!!!!!
Posted by nessie0814
i Maybe would call her, onestly I know its not a good thing but I dont trust anyone, you cant trust someone 100% because thats when you get hurt, I would never put anything past anyone i've seen to much and too many things that men do and get away with, I would rather know the truth now then after getting married, you have to remember your fh is not gonna tell you the truth he will tell you what you wanna hear, im not trying to be mean but my sister was with her ex for 10 years we were all so close and my my sister and my whole family would have never thought that he would cheat, well he walked out on my sister and was cheating with his secratary and is still with that girl to this day, my sister got very very sick, my sister always trusted him and let him do what ever he wanted, she never thought he would betray her like that, neither did I, so I would just make sure.
ITA. This happened to Someone very close to me in my family. Thats why I have such strong feelings about cheating. It really destroyed her and her marriage. And the kids were also very affected by this as well. And the sick part was the female knew about the marriage, and didn't care.
I'm sorry if I came across as a psycho, but really, fh shouldn't even be associating with this girl. She's looking for trouble. Thats why he should cut the ties with her, and move on in life with you.
Saadas623
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Re: please girls i need opinions and help!!!!!
I wouldn't call her because your'e FH should know better..tell him you dont feel comfortable with him having this girl that u dont even know text him all the time. Girls are catty you never know what they're up to ! trust me i know from experience! from my so called 'best friend'
if he puts up a fight.. then u should def put ur foot down about this!
dutchessev
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Re: please girls i need opinions and help!!!!!
I wouldn't call her.
If you trust him just leave it alone. He said he was sorry.
I would check there is no more texting though.
shyavon81
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Re: please girls i need opinions and help!!!!!
So sorry that you are going through this. I don't think you should call the girl. You know your FH best and if you believe him then drop it, that means don't bring it up anymore once you guys resolve this. Men don't exactly think things through. I personally don't believe in making new 'friends' of the opposite sex when you're in a relationship that you're partner know nothing about, but he knows he's on a family plan and was probably thinking it was innocent. Men have to see if they still 'got it' every now and again and most of the time that's all it is! Just make sure that he understands how this sort of thing makes you feel and have him think about how he would feel if the tables were turned. Good luck to you and I wish you the best. Plan your wedding and be happy. I wouldn't worry too much about it because he loves YOU!
