please help!!! can we really uninvite a guest??

jags77 Posted: Sep 11, 2003 11:36 PM

please help!!! can we really uninvite a guest??

we are so torn- FH really wants to uninvite this guy but i feel awkward about doing that! what do you think? this should be our day and the happiest day of our life and i definitely don't want to see his face any day - esp my wedding day!!

here is the post from last night if you're a bit confused ---

link

they have so many mutual friends and i don't want it to be a situation where the friends feel like they have to pick sides. oh- he went on to say later on after i wrote that post - that this wedding is stupid.

lorimari Posted: Sep 11, 2003 11:42 PM

Re: please help!!! can we really uninvite a guest??

From the sound of it he doesn't seem happy about not being able to bring a guest and probably won't come b/c of it.

I would let him come by himself but tell him if he pulls the b.s. that he did at the e-party he'll be asked to leave the wedding.

If he doesn't like it than don't come - sounds like you and FH don't need this guy in your lives anyway.

jess2504 Posted: Sep 11, 2003 11:44 PM

Re: please help!!! can we really uninvite a guest??

Why should you feel awkward? It's your FH's friend and if he wants to disinvite him then that's his choice. You don't want that stress from this jerk on your wedding day.

julybride444 Posted: Sep 12, 2003 02:08 AM

Re: please help!!! can we really uninvite a guest??

We're really nice people honest, but we had to uninvite someone 3 days before the wedding.

A 'friend' of DH's, with whom he hasn't really been close to in a few years, decided to bring DH's twin brothers ex-girlfriend.

We had to tell him that he couldn't bring her, that it just wouldn't be comfortable. He said that the brother was 'being a baby', and they'd stopped dating 2 years ago and 'he is really good friends with this girl'.

So, DH said either you don't bring her or you don't come. He didn't come, and demanded his parents not come either.

We fortunately had some people who thought they couldn't make it come, and some people brought their kids (which we weren't expecting), so we made our limit even with the 4 no-shows.

It was a tough situation, and permanently ended their friendship, but we think that what we did was right.

You have to make sure your day is as special as you want it to be, and it sounds like this guy will cause stress and could possibly ruin your day. Uninvite him.

MSCJLK Posted: Sep 12, 2003 08:24 AM

Re: please help!!! can we really uninvite a guest??

I am sorry you are going throught that.. why can't people understand that when you are not invited with a guest it means NO GUEST . I would not try to uninvite him but you can say it to him this way

1- You can come to our wedding but we are serious about ' no guest'
2-Give him the option of not wanting to come. Just tell him its either come alone.. since he will have friend there anyway or don't come at all. You do not need this stress from a so called friend.try this

LizD Posted: Sep 12, 2003 08:33 AM

Re: please help!!! can we really uninvite a guest??

He seems to be very immature and yes he does seem to be acting out of spite. I would definetly un-invite this person and I would tell him exactly why I am doing it. I am sure your other friends are aware of the way he is acting and will not hold it against you. Maybe if it is put in his face he will see that he has a lot of growing up to do.

Fran M Posted: Sep 12, 2003 09:03 AM

Re: please help!!! can we really uninvite a guest??

You and your FI do not need this.
Tell this guy to skip the whole thing. He is more concerned about bringing a guest than celebrating your day. He dosen't deserve to be there.

2bewedin04 Posted: Sep 12, 2003 09:17 AM

Re: please help!!! can we really uninvite a guest??

Yes, I think it's okay to uninvite people who are not supportive of you. If FH is the one who wants to uninvite the potential guest who is HIS friend, than it's really his decision. He needs to realize that the friendship will probably end though. At the very least, I'd tell him that his behavior at the engagement party was unacceptable and you want assurances that it won't happen at the wedding or you'd rather him not come.

goldilocks Posted: Sep 12, 2003 09:29 AM

Re: please help!!! can we really uninvite a guest??

I just want to commend you on having the b*lls to confront his rudeness. Many people would just let it go and have him bring a date rather than deal with the uncomfortable situation of addressing it! Kudos to you!!
I understand your concern about him causing commotion at your wedding b/c he is mad. I'd be worried too. His level of maturity sounds non-existant so you don't know what he'd do. It's a tough decision, it does run the risk of alienating some people who choose to pick sides. I think if you do decide to uninvite him, your TRUE friends will be able to not get involved in the drama of picking sides.
Good luck!!!!!

Nora101004 Posted: Sep 12, 2003 01:25 PM

Re: please help!!! can we really uninvite a guest??

I would call him and tell him he can come alone but due to budget and space restrictions, he can not bring anyone. You understand if he doesn't want to come. and perhaps if you are having an after party he can come to that and bring friends but this is the way it is.

aliciahelene Posted: Sep 12, 2003 04:37 PM

Re: please help!!! can we really uninvite a guest??

I would have no problems uninviting this guy..hes a complete idiot it sounds like..and you said so yoruself..you dont wnat to see this guys face, especially on yoru wedding day. Do you really care if his feelings are hurt..would tehy even be hurt, or will he go to your wedidng and continue to make an ass of himself? Id have FH call him and set it straight, maybe over the phone and not through IM this guy will get a clue. Its not like hes family and it would cause alot of bad blood if he werent invited.,..this is different, noone is really even friend with him anymore.Definately uninvite him. I think keeping him on your guest list is only going to stress you out even more. Sorry you have to even deal with him.

butterfly20 Posted: Sep 12, 2003 04:44 PM

Re: please help!!! can we really uninvite a guest??

i would uninvite him, purely from his actions at the engagement party, he sounds like he would show up to your wedding with a guest, or possibly grope some guests there