I just want to preface this post by saying please don't think I'm a selfish person because I'm definitely not.
FH has been going through the process for the Nassau County PD and he found out yesterday that he passed his background investigation. If all goes well with the remaining steps (which we're confident it will), he'll be going into the police academy in July. I'm thrilled for him, this is what he's been wanting for a long time but the academy is 6 months long, which means we're getting married right in the middle of it. So NO honymoon for us until at least February and since we're getting married on a Sunday, he'll have to dash out early Monday morning to get back to the academy. Like I said, I'm very happy for him, this is a wonderful thing for our future but I can't help but be disappointed that we won't be taking our honeymoon as true newlyweds or even be able to stay in bed late the day after the wedding with my new husband. I feel like such an awful person for having these feelings and so I haven't expressed any of this to him. I know it's not the end of the world and it seems pretty stupid to me sometimes, but as most B2B's I had a vision of what the whole wedding/honeymoon would be like and this just wasn't it.
no stress bride
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Re: Please help cheer me up....
Posted by Pickle
sorry to hear that. but congratulations on his getting to the next step!!!
I'm sure he'll make it up to you once he is all done with the academy!
I agree!!
gilgo31
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Re: Please help cheer me up....
halloweenbride - I just went through the same exact thing - you're totally justified in feeling like that - my FI got called for the FDNY 3 weeks ago. With just over 3 months to go, we already planned our honeymoon (now cancelled), the academy is ending the week before the wedding..his bachelor party is cancelled..we aren't even sure what will happen with our rehearsal dinner or the wedding, as he would be assigned a firehouse the week before the wedding and he can't clear vacation days until he's assigned. I've been mourning my honeymoon like you don't even know - and the whole enjoying the next morning as a married couple - forget it - his hours wouldn't be assigned until the week before. I was completely happy for him, but angry and resentful that after 5 long years they had to call him NOW...so I feel your pain. There is absolutely no really good advice I can give you other than take some days after the wedding for yourself and go to a spa and go to the beach and lean on your friends A LOT.. it's hard but a year from now, hopefully, you can take a kickass honeymoon. I know it hurts, I totally feel for you. Unfortunately for my FI, he just left the academy, it wasn't for him, it turns out, so now he's job hunting in his old field, accounting. The craziness never ends. Again good luck, and don't beat yourself up about this - totally normal!
Smolokoff
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Re: Please help cheer me up....
I am sorry that you won't be having your dream, but if you makes you feel a little better, a friend of mine just got married, and they are not taking their HM til June. There is no 'rule' that says you have to go right away. The important thing is that you will be married, and you can be proud of your husband for his dedication to his career.
MOHmissy
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Re: Please help cheer me up....
Posted by bridzilla
I don't think you're selfish. I would feel the same way. I don't have any advice, because you're in a tough situation. But I just didn't want you to feel bad about yourself. You shouldn't feel guilty.
exactly what I was thinking
LIJuneBride
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Re: Please help cheer me up....
I know exactly how you feel. My FH is just finishing up the academy and does not know if they will give him vacation time for the honeymoon since he is new. We're trying to reserve a place for the rehearsal dinner but we don't even know if he will have that day off. I've been doing most of the planning because he is too busy with the academy as it is a lot of work and very stressful. A couple people in his class got married since they started because everything was already booked and they couldn't go on a honeymoon. It will be difficult for both of you but try to remember that this is what he wants and it means a good future for you both. No one can tell you you're wrong for feeling that way and it is perfectly understandable. I'm right there with you!!!
kaangel217
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Re: Please help cheer me up....
That does stink! At least you can have a honeymoon after hes done with the academy and you won't be stressed out or exhausted from the wedding stuff. Maybe you can go on a HM for a longer period of time after hes all done.
charlotte227
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Re: Please help cheer me up....
Cheer up you will be married and your FH will be starting a new career...marriage is about give and take, new things, this will be one of them! BE SUPPORTIVE!!!
nancyruo
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Re: Please help cheer me up....
Don't feel selfish, It's natural, Just think of all the positives. You will have a great financial future ahead of you and your FH is having his dreams come true. It will make the honeymoon that much better when you take it! Congrats to him !
razz1031
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Re: Please help cheer me up....
Congrats to FH for his new job! That's a great job to have! Don't worry about not having a HM right away. Postponing it won't make it any less meaningful! If you really think about it, just like you're anticipating your wedding with excitement...you'll do the same for your HM, so you're really extending your wedding celebration. It's a wonderful thing!!! Hang in there!!!
ktdtlc
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Re: Please help cheer me up....
Posted by neesiepie
You have to try and focus on the POSITIVE: It's not like you AREN'T going on your honeymoon at all! Like someone else said, you'll have even MORE reason to celebrate!
And CONGRATS to your FI on getting into the academy! SO MANY people are waiting for that position, and you guys are both lucky that he found such a good job BEFORE you get married...your financial situation will be that much more secure!
I agree with neesiepie, You should focus on the positive, you are getting married. And its not like you aren't going on a honeymoon you just have to wait a while. My FH is in the air force and in pilot training and you aren't allowed any leave during this time so we are probably postponing our honeymoon until december. I was a little bummed at first but i realized at least we are getting married and thats all that matters. I can wait to go on a honeymoon. And think of all the extra money you can save up for the honeymoon.
