I just want to preface this post by saying please don't think I'm a selfish person because I'm definitely not.
FH has been going through the process for the Nassau County PD and he found out yesterday that he passed his background investigation. If all goes well with the remaining steps (which we're confident it will), he'll be going into the police academy in July. I'm thrilled for him, this is what he's been wanting for a long time but the academy is 6 months long, which means we're getting married right in the middle of it. So NO honymoon for us until at least February and since we're getting married on a Sunday, he'll have to dash out early Monday morning to get back to the academy. Like I said, I'm very happy for him, this is a wonderful thing for our future but I can't help but be disappointed that we won't be taking our honeymoon as true newlyweds or even be able to stay in bed late the day after the wedding with my new husband. I feel like such an awful person for having these feelings and so I haven't expressed any of this to him. I know it's not the end of the world and it seems pretty stupid to me sometimes, but as most B2B's I had a vision of what the whole wedding/honeymoon would be like and this just wasn't it.
Pickle
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Re: Please help cheer me up....
sorry to hear that. but congratulations on his getting to the next step!!!
I'm sure he'll make it up to you once he is all done with the academy!
bridzilla
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I don't think you're selfish. I would feel the same way. I don't have any advice, because you're in a tough situation. But I just didn't want you to feel bad about yourself. You shouldn't feel guilty.
Lorena
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Re: Please help cheer me up....
You are certainly not selfish - I would feel the same way. Just think how wonderful the honeymoon will be though after all that waiting and anticipation! Don't feel bad though, he may be just as disappointed at the timing as you are.
MegLehner
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Re: Please help cheer me up....
I dont think that you are being selfish - Im sure that I would feel the same way. Eventhough the idea of putting off the HM now reallt stinks you have to think about things in the long run. This is a great opportunity for you and your FH. My only advice would be dont let FH know it bothers you too much cause it seems like he has wanted this for a long time and you wouldnt want him to feel bad about it.
pinkstar025
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Re: Please help cheer me up....
ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!?! You are not in ANY way being selfish. Everyone has the right to express their feelings. And its not liek you are PO'd that he's going to be preoccupied ...you are happy for him. I COMPLETELY understand adn would feel the EXACT same way...you're only human.....but don't emphasize too much on it...you will have FOREVER to be together so just remember that and just saty focused on that SPECIAL DAY as and
I know exactly what you are feeling. My FI is with NYPD and last July he went into the academy. We had NO vacation last year
You are probably feeling alot more feelings about the PD besides the wedding day and the day after too. I was scared for Nick become a cop for all the usual reasons.
It is not selfish to feel this way. Who knows when we will be able to go on our HM either.
If you want to talk more about this, feel free to FM me. Us cop wives have to stick together!
FLaCaTaCa
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Re: Please help cheer me up....
Awwww, sweetie! I would feel the same way too. Do not feel selfish or bad....I think you are right. I know that you are happy for him but you wish it would have come at another time. I know!!!
Awwwww, just think happy thoughts about once he is out....it will benefit in the long run!!!
NYCHICK
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I don't think you are selfish at all. I COMPLETELY understand what you are saying. I am sorry
I would feel the same way! Just keep thinking about the future
bobbsbride
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Re: Please help cheer me up....
I am so sorry! My FI is leaving for annual training the day after we get back from our honeymoon! You have it much worse, but look on the bright side! He is doing this to make your life better!!
orange758
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Re: Please help cheer me up....
Just think of it this way.After he finishes and you can go on your official honeymoon you have twice as many things to celebrate. Your marriage, each other, his completion, and his new carreer.
agv
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Re: Please help cheer me up....
There is nothing selfish about wanting to spend the next day in bed with your neew husband. But try to remember you will have years and years together....and this will be something that will be great for your future together!
quinncatherine
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Re: Please help cheer me up....
I feel terrible- that is my biggest fear- FH just got laid off and is looking for a new job, but our wedding is June 5th. I am so afraid that he will get a new job and not be able to take a honeymoon.
My only hope is that if the worst thing happens, then we will take a huge trip when he can get vacation!
jill13bean
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Re: Please help cheer me up....
you are not being selfish... it is tough I might be going through something similar... FH is trying to switch jobs. It is so hard to get on the LIRR. I am sure he will get on next year at the same time. If he does... we will not be going on a mini vacation after our wedding (because we have to wait for the summer to do our honeymoon because i am a teacher) to vegas or something nor will we be able to go on a honeymoon because he will be on probation ofr a year.... not 1 day off
things will work out it is just tough
MCDO15
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Re: Please help cheer me up....
thats too bad but this will help you in the long run with career and money...
word of advice. a friend of mine is going through it right now..it's a very demanding time and effort. so if he is stressed and tired, etc... it's because of the training. they had very hard and long exams (several hours), a ton of hw. and also, the time switches between morning and eveing class. i thinks it's per week. when he starts (i'm sure he will do great on test) see if he can set up to have that week, a late week.
halloweenbride04
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Re: Please help cheer me up....
Thank you ladies! Your kind words are much appreciated and needed right now. I keep trying to look on the bright side of things and think that we can take an incredible honeymoon because we'll have even longer to save $$ for it and all the wedding expenses will be out of the way. I'm sure I'll feel better about this in a few days. It is also the anxiety of knowing that FH won't be going to his nice, safe, 9 - 5 office job anymore. It would be different if he was already a cop when I met him, it's just going to be a big adjustment for us both.
Thanks again.....
neesiepie
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Re: Please help cheer me up....
You have to try and focus on the POSITIVE: It's not like you AREN'T going on your honeymoon at all! Like someone else said, you'll have even MORE reason to celebrate!
And CONGRATS to your FI on getting into the academy! SO MANY people are waiting for that position, and you guys are both lucky that he found such a good job BEFORE you get married...your financial situation will be that much more secure!
hbradio
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Re: Please help cheer me up....
I dont think you are being selfish at all. I would feel the same way. But think of it this way - you have the wedding and you get to enjoy that, and then a few months later you still have something very exciting to look forward to. I would say you are getting a double celebration in a way!
A couple that are very good friends of ours got married in Sept and didnt take their honeymoon until Nov since he is a teacher. They really enjoyed it that way - it was a little break to settle in and then have fun all over again!
OctGroom
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Re: Please help cheer me up....
those are absoultely normal feelings.. anyone.. male or female would feel the same wy.. but your FH is building a life for you two.. and sometimes the goals have to take preference over what you want to do.. since he neds to do this.. not only for himself.... but the both of you.
Even though something might be postponed.. you're still married... deeply in love and I'm sure you guys will take the time to get away on your honeymoon.. even if it's not right after the wedding.
