Please help girls!

I'm using a different log in name so that no one can personally judge my situation. (It's happened before) Although a lot of you will figure out who I am, I just thought it was better.

The reason I'm posting on this board along with the NWR board is because I am a new mom and I thought maybe some of you might be good support, also I am a regular poster on here.

My DH and I are now having serious money problems. All along we've been 'making it'. Not enough income to save $, but getting by. Well now, we are more than a few hundred dollars short every month, because we unexpectantly, (last minute) have to pay for day care now. We just cannot afford our bills. My DH is already working a second job, and we still don't make enough! I can't work a second job because we have no one to watch the baby. My parents haven't seen the baby since he was in the hospital, (huge fight in the Maternity Ward, that was bad enough that things can't be resolved), and DH parents don't live near us, and we don't have anyone else. Also, my DH hours at his second job can't be steady because it's retail. We just don't know what to do? We just don't make enough money? We're going to end up losing where we live, ruin our credit, our cars, etc. I can't believe this is happening. Everytime something good happens something worse has to happen. And it just keeps getting worse. On top of everything else, we now just found out about another debt that was unexpected that we have to pay or we'll get arrested, on top of that we still have to pay the hospital bill. There is just no way we can come up with that money on top of paying our monthly bills when we don't have any money saved, or we don't make enough! I just want to cry and cry!!! The life we've been working soooooo hard for is gone! Please girls... I need some support. I have no one else! (Besides my DH and my baby!)

o dear.I am SOOO sorry, I feel so bad I don't know what to say.
to you and you family.

I say start opening the lines of communication with you family...You need help
this is serious, much more important than a fight that you had. Be the bigger
person and reach out to them for help...

Can you downsize your living arrangements to lower your monthly rent?

You should really try to work things out with you parents, I am sure things got bad but they can really be a help and means of support, not financial, but mental.

Also can you consolidate all bills, to get them paid off sooner?

I'm so sorry that you're dealing with all of these problems! One thing to keep in mind is that you are NOT alone. So many people are having the same sorts of problems these days.

Would it be possible to make amends with your parents? I suspect that you would feel a lot better if you could have their support again, both emotionally and pragmatically (maybe they would help with the childcare).

GOOD LUCK with everything!

I would say get rid of EVERY non-essential- cable, DSL, expensive cell phone plans... Sell everything you don't need on Craigslist (clothing, old pocketbooks, etc).. See if your husband can get a nightshift job in a hotel- steady hours and better pay- doing security, working the night shift, etc..

Maybe you can babysit? Put a listing on Craigslist or a bulletin board in your area-- you are already home- maybe you can pick up 1 or 2 other kids?

try moving into a smaller place/cheaper area?

not sure what you do for a living, but do you make a considerably more than what you pay for daycare? could you possibly quit your job and start up an at home babysitting service? even if you babysit 2 children a day for 8 for hours, the ends might be worth the means. you also wouldn't have to pay taxes.

do you have any SAHM friends that could watch your child instead of having to pay for childcare 5 days a week? even if it is only for 2 days, it would help. in return you can offer to watch her kids when they want to go out to dinner, movies, etc....



ETA: i agree w/ getting rid of some of the luxuries (cable, internet, name brand products, dinners out etc....)

the little things help as well. start cutting coupons and watch for sales at the supermarket.

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Posted by Sassyz75

Maybe you can babysit? Put a listing on Craigslist or a bulletin board in your area-- you are already home- maybe you can pick up 1 or 2 other kids?

try moving into a smaller place/cheaper area?

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That is a phenomenal idea for extra income.

I'm so sorry

Definately get rid of the extras. When my roommate moved out before I got married I got rid of call waiting, caller ID things like that. If you could do withough cable that would help a lot (I know my bill is crazy), cutting coupons and buying only necessities is a great save, cut out cell phones OR use only cell phone and no home phone (my sister does this).

I agree with babysitting. It's a way for you to cut your daycare expenses, you get to stay home with your child, AND you make money doing it. My cousin did this and she said it was a huge help.

Good Luck to you. Try to stay positive and be sure to support eachother and try not to let this get in between you

Do you own your home or do you rent? Have you tried taking out a home equity loan? Usually...it's at a lower rate than credit cards...you can use the equity in your house to pay down your credit cards and then just pay back yourselves.

Also...I would try to fix whatever problems you are having with your family...this is the time that you need them the most. I know it's easier said then done...but

I do know who you are, but I am not going to out you

The first thing you need to do is to call your creditors, explain the situation that you are in and see if they will work with you to lower your payments. Most creditors would rather have something than nothing.

Next you need to look at how you are living and see where you can cut back. There is nothing wrong with spaghetti for dinner and PB&J for lunch.

I know that you had a major falling out with your parents, but if you think that they may be able to help, bite the bullet and ask for it.

Have you looked into bankruptcy yet?

I hope that everything works out. You have been struggling with this for far too long and deserve come peace

There are mnay day cares that will go off your income, can you chacek into something like that? The state may be able to help you, thats what its there for, for people in need such as yoruself!! take advantage of it! There is nothing wrong with that. You guys have so much stress right now that you may not see your options clearly, and its understandable. But you do have options. If you rent, is it possible to find something a bit cheaper until you get your feet on teh ground. Is it possible to work things out with family or friends? Check out your resources, there are so many childcare programs for people with lower incomes..you may qualify! I know that could be embarrassing, but thats what it's there for..you could possibly get it free. Im sorry you have this stress!!!

Not being able to make ends meet is very unsettling and stressful. I echo the other girls' sentiments. Defintely check out the different types of public assistance, food stamps, HEAP, etc... There may be girls on the boards who have more knowledge of whats available and to who.

Lots of luck to you!

everyone has given good advice, I just wanted to offer some hugs. I hope everything works out for you

I feel your pain, believe me I do. I'm so sorry, all of the other posters have given such great tips I don't believe I have anything else to offer up. Maybe you could look into a job that provides on site daycare like working in a day care facility?

My heart goes out to you and prayers that things look up soon.

I am so sorry you are going through this!! I agree with what the other ladies have said - please try to reach out to someone in your family. Is there anyway you could sell your home and move into a less-expensive one so that the mortgage payments will be less? Can you babysit from your home? Please don't isolate yourself - reach out to your family, neighbors, friends, talk to your creditors and make regular payments - even if it's just a little bit! Don't let things get 'swept under the rug'. Maybe you can babysit for a mom while she works and she can babysit for you while you work?

Just wanted to give