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please help me pick one of 3- see below (wording on invite)

jags77 Posted:

please help me pick one of 3- see below (wording on invite)

My dad and I are debating what to do with this poem- he thinks it is missing 2 lines on the bottom. any suggestions?

This day for us is special
A time beyond compare
The joy we feel deep in our hearts
We hope you will come and share
As your presence there with us
Means more than words can say

What do you think??!?!?!?!? THANKS!
danigirl0 Posted:

Re: please help with this little poem----

i see what your dad means..it would flow better. but if you like it like that, and it says what you want..then its all good!

jags77 Posted:

Re: please help with this little poem----

well, i don't mind adding a couple more lines to it- i just don't know what to add!!

i think someone had suggested something like-

'please try to be there
to celebrate this ??? day'

but i don't know if that sounds good ?!?!
jenny2penny Posted:

Re: please help with this little poem----

That's hard....Not sure what you want to say???

...the moment as we declare our love
On our new life's first day
jags77 Posted:

Re: please help with this little poem----

i'm not really sure what i want to say either- something along the lines of what you wrote.

daisybride Posted:

Re: please help with this little poem----

I would go with two more lines. Maybe a couplet. Two rhymed lines to signify th ending. It worked for Shakespeare. Best of Luck
jags77 Posted:

updated - please pick one of 3!

last time i bother with all this.

this is going on the invitations

please help me decide which 2nd paragraph to go with these 4 lines:

This day for us is special
A time beyond compare
The joy we feel deep in our hearts
We hope you will come and share

2nd paragraph contenders:

1-- Your presence here with us
Means more than words can say
As you have shared in your lives with your love
Please join us on this festive day

2-- Your presence here with us
Means more than words can say
Please grace us with your presence
On this very festive day

3-- As you have shared in our lives
With your friendship and your love
You are invited to celebrate
This most special and festive day

if they all s-ck please tell me that too or if you have any suggestions!!
thanks
jags77 Posted:

Re: updated - please pick one of 3!

--

LImom Posted:

Re: updated - please pick one of 3!

I think #2 sounds great.

2003OCT10 Posted:

Re: updated - please pick one of 3!

Please celebrate our love
And share our wedding day
lorimari Posted:

Re: updated - please pick one of 3!

I like Oct03 (Lauren)'s quote!

daisybride Posted:

Re: please help me pick one of 3- see below (wording on invite)

I like #2 or Oct's addition

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