ok..im doing my invites...my fh has an aunt who has been dating this guy for like a little over a year..my question to my fmil was,'should i put john's name on the invite?' she said no ...because they dont live together and it's assuming too much..but my arguement was just to screw the proper way and put his name on it in being polite to his aunt...what would you girls do..i think his aunt would be offended!! this invitation crap is a pain in the a$$....thanks for your help!!
cindyandkevin
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Re: please help me solve a little arguement
I would put '& guest', I think your FMIL is right. Since they don't live together and it's only been a lil over a year I would just stay formal. I understand you want to be nice to his aunt but I think your FMIL would know better in this situation since she knows the aunt better. I'd be afraid if they broke up before the wedding, putting '& guest' gives her more freedom to bring someone else and wouldn't make her feel as bad about him. JMO!! HTH!
otherme
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Re: please help me solve a little arguement
Perhaps call the aunt and ask her what she thinks? My instinct would be to put his name down on the invite so she doesn't feel offended that you haven't included him. But, if you want to do it the more formal way, thats fine too. Depends on how formal you're doing the whole thing.
ChrissynRicky
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Re: please help me solve a little arguement
I'm putting & guest for everyone (excluding those married or engaged) - even if they're long term boyfriends/girlfriends, etc - I'm putting it down with the person & guest....you just never know what can happen in a relationship.
ETA: You never know - someone might not want to bring that person. Sounds akward, but true - I once received an invite that had my boyfriend's name on it, and I didn't want to bring him - wanted to bring someone else.
Brideoct05
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Re: please help me solve a little arguement
I was told if you are doing a formal invite the inside envelope should say Miss so and so and Mr so and so. If you don't know the guys last name then put guest on it.
IrishBride-05
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Re: please help me solve a little arguement
I don't have an inner envelope so I did put the name of any significant other on the outside with the main partner's address. I personally would like to be acknowledged if I am the long-term partner instead of being called '& Guest' especially if you socialize together
Jennie0898
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Re: please help me solve a little arguement
I think your FMIL is technically correct, but I would do what you are most comfortable with doing. If you feel you know this guy well enough and that they will still be together for your wedding, put his name on the invite.
I will offer you this piece of advice though... My FI was invited to a wedding with someone (their name actually on the invite) before we started dating. They weren't very serious but the couple that was getting married knew his date well and just assumed they would come together. Well long story short, FI felt obligated to take her even though he really didn't want to.
So my advice is be sure you know your future aunt wants to take her BF.
Swan06
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Re: please help me solve a little arguement
When me and my Fiance were just dating we had our names put on the invitation. It made me feel special and included.
MissingTheBGene
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Re: please help me solve a little arguement
Are you very close with your aunt? How about asking your aunt? Personally, I feel it can go both ways. I knew my Fi was 'the one' after dating only three months, but then I see what Christine is saying about maybe they are not that serious.
I've been to weddings on Fi's side when we were dating, and I wasn't insulted when they wrote '& Guest' but I found it really nice that they put my name down on the place card! LOL
LaurenluvsTJ
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Re: please help me solve a little arguement
Does your aunt live with the BF? If there are people on my list who are not engaged or married, but are living with a significant other, then I will put both names on the invite. I will probably put 'and guest' for everyone else. Its so hard to figure this stuff out.
marymoon
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Re: please help me solve a little arguement
According to Emily Post's Wedding Etiquette, if someone is in a serious relationship they SHOULD be named on the invite. She also goes on to say that if they don't live together he should get a separate invite at his house but I think just
Miss Marie Smith Mr. Joe Dowling
Is perfectly acceptable.
Whenever FH and I have gotten wedding invitations it's always been done this way. If it's my family it comes to my house and says
Miss Mary Moon Mr. Doug Moon
and if it's his family it goes to his house and says
Mr. Doug Moon Miss Mary Moon.
I'd actually be offended if I got an invite that says 'and guest'
AtticaQT
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Re: please help me solve a little arguement
I put and guest unless i knew the boyfriend or girlfriend socially
Esor
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Re: please help me solve a little arguement
Posted by marymoon
According to Emily Post's Wedding Etiquette, if someone is in a serious relationship they SHOULD be named on the invite. . . . .but I think just
Miss Marie Smith Mr. Joe Dowling
Is perfectly acceptable.
Whenever FH and I have gotten wedding invitations it's always been done this way. If it's my family it comes to my house and says
Miss Mary Moon Mr. Doug Moon
and if it's his family it goes to his house and says
Mr. Doug Moon Miss Mary Moon.
I'd actually be offended if I got an invite that says 'and guest'
I just sent mine out and this is what I did, too.
salsbride06
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Re: please help me solve a little arguement
I WOULD PUT ' & GUEST'
Pmpkn087
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Re: please help me solve a little arguement
I would put his name. After all, he has been dating her for a long time. That's what I did. Screw proper, I did what I felt was best.
sunflowers74
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Re: please help me solve a little arguement
Posted by marymoon
According to Emily Post's Wedding Etiquette, if someone is in a serious relationship they SHOULD be named on the invite. She also goes on to say that if they don't live together he should get a separate invite at his house but I think just
Miss Marie Smith Mr. Joe Dowling
Is perfectly acceptable.
Whenever FH and I have gotten wedding invitations it's always been done this way. If it's my family it comes to my house and says
Miss Mary Moon Mr. Doug Moon
and if it's his family it goes to his house and says
Mr. Doug Moon Miss Mary Moon.
I'd actually be offended if I got an invite that says 'and guest'
This is exactly what I was going to say!
cjb88
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Re: please help me solve a little arguement
for every 'guest' that i know of i will be trying my hardest to find out the other person's name...
we are not inviting everyone with a guest, only those that have serious boyfriends or girlfriends... i dont want someone to assume that if they are invited with a guest they can just take their brother or sister... i just cant afford that since we are paying for everything ourselves!
Soccer_Girl
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Re: please help me solve a little arguement
For our invitations, anyone who was in a serious relationship was invited with that other person's name on their envelope. I like making it personal. I didn't want to just put '& guest' because it's not really that I want them to bring anyone..I want that couple to be at our wedding. I think that although '7 guest' covers it, it also opens up the possibility of them bringing anyone they want. We used '& Guest' on three on my single friends' invitations because i wanted them to feel free to bring a male companion to enjoy the day.
babybug631
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Re: please help me solve a little arguement
I think if you are close to them, put his name. If not put guest.
Heavin
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Re: please help me solve a little arguement
All I have to say is that we are engaged and dated for over 3 yrs and living together for almost a yr having moved 3000 miles from home to live with him... and i was refered to as 'and guest' and i felt very offended!!! this was done by more than one person too... close people as well, on his side who i spend A LOT of time with, no one in my family ever referred to him as and guest on recent family weddings they always called to ask for his last name and included addressing him, even when we didnt live together...
in reading more posts on this, it is actually more proper and formal to NOT use '& guest' where possible...
