I hate that I have to post about this on the Internet...bc who knows who will read it... but I am hysterical and have no where else to turn.
I posted a few weeks ago that my Mom is an OCD cleaner, but that isn't all. To update: Basically she cleans for 10-12 hours per day. The same things over and over again. I just can't take it anymore... she's also an alcoholic... she'll drink 1/2-3/4 of a liter of liquor in a sitting, and then she goes nuts.
She yells at my poor Dad 24/7. She curses at him, tells him to drop dead, she just told him she hopes he gets in another car accident. She runs around the house banging doors.
She's the same way to. She has always verbally abused me, and she used to physically abuse me when I was little. When I was 12, she tried to strangle my Dad. When I was 8, she took a knife and stabbed herself in the stomach and showed me the blood.
I REALLY can't take this anymore. And I'm so concerned about my Dad too. My family says that's how she is, and there's nothing we can do. I've called the cops on her. They tell me they can do nothing. I've talked to social workers, they tell me they can do nothing. She went to a psychiatrist for a couple of months because my HS social worker made her, but she lied and he let her leave.
Does anyone know where I can turn to? I'm feeling so down...
ETA: She does this stuff when she's sober AND drunk. She just turns it up a notch when she's drunk.
UPDATED: Wow, I just want to say thank you all so much... NEVER in my life have I felt so much support and concern about these issues. My mother is very sweet to my friends in 'real' (meaning not online) life, so whenever I try and talk to them, they turn a deaf ear.
What an amazing group of women you all truly are. I don't know if this situation is going to get better for me, but I do know that I am going to try. Even if it doesn't, I just want to thank you all from the bottom of my heart for your support.
Its2Snappy
Posted:
Member since
Re: please help me, very personal &serious
I just wanted to say how sorry I am for what you are going through. My father was a drug addict, so I know partially how you feel. After my mother died when I was 15, he treated me very very badly. The best I can tell you is 1) stay as far away as possible 2) talk to your dad about it.
20mrsc10
Posted:
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Re: please help me, very personal &serious
i really don't even know what to say im so sorry
futuremrsjc2010
Posted:
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Re: please help me, very personal &serious
Im so so sorry you are going through this, im sorry I dont have that much words of advice, i agree with the intervention idea. I hope everything works out
halfbaked
Posted:
Member since
Re: please help me, very personal &serious
I'm so sorry to hear this. The only thing I can think of is trying to do an intervention. Maybe call up an AA crisis center or something like that and see if they can offer help. Usually they won't listen if it's just family trying to intervene.
Diana508
Posted:
Member since
Re: please help me, very personal &serious
I'm sorry to hear what you, your dad and family are going through. I also think the intervention is best. It sounds like an outside party (such as AA or psychiatrist) would be the best option as anything you or someone else who is close says can easily be ignored. If she goes to a psychiatrist, I think it would be beneficial to have him/her to talk to you and your dad so that your mom can't lie. Maybe group counseling.
JoanneAndJustin
Posted:
Member since
Re: please help me, very personal &serious
I am so sorry that you are going through this. I would suggest some counseling for yourself so you can deal with your feelings about the situation, and Al-Anon.
If she is a danger to herself or others couldn't you have her committed to a mandatory 48 hour hold in a hospital?
I don't know your religious affiliation but I used to work for Catholic Charities on Long Island and they had many programs that could help.
How about an intervention? Does she work? Do her employers see a problem? What about a trusted family member (aunt, uncle, etc.)
bridezilla2b
Posted:
Member since
Re: please help me, very personal &serious
I am sorry ... I have no words ....
if you even need to talk/vent, I will make myself available!
Sorry to say but intervention usually will not work. Having had an alcholic in my family most of my childhood (luckily, not an abusive one) intervention is usally short term. The person has to want to stop drinking...if they are not ready it may ease the issue for awhile but not usally long term.
Though I do agree with the post about call the police or ambulance when she is really intoxicated. They will take her to a hospital and they will hold her for at least 48 hours..maybe the shock will sink in.
Anyway, sorry for what you are going through.
FM me if you want to talk.
MrsHazel2B
Posted:
Member since
Re: please help me, very personal &serious
Posted by JAAMS
I hate that I have to post about this on the Internet...bc who knows who will read it... but I am hysterical and have no where else to turn.
I posted a few weeks ago that my Mom is an OCD cleaner, but that isn't all. To update: Basically she cleans for 10-12 hours per day. The same things over and over again. I just can't take it anymore... she's also an alcoholic... she'll drink 1/2-3/4 of a liter of liquor in a sitting, and then she goes nuts.
She yells at my poor Dad 24/7. She curses at him, tells him to drop dead, she just told him she hopes he gets in another car accident. She runs around the house banging doors.
She's the same way to. She has always verbally abused me, and she used to physically abuse me when I was little. When I was 12, she tried to strangle my Dad. When I was 8, she took a knife and stabbed herself in the stomach and showed me the blood.
I REALLY can't take this anymore. And I'm so concerned about my Dad too. My family says that's how she is, and there's nothing we can do. I've called the cops on her. They tell me they can do nothing. I've talked to social workers, they tell me they can do nothing. She went to a psychiatrist for a couple of months because my HS social worker made her, but she lied and he let her leave.
Does anyone know where I can turn to? I'm feeling so down...
ETA: She does this stuff when she's sober AND drunk. She just turns it up a notch when she's drunk.
If mom is acting out drunk and sober, she may need counseling. At my job, the social workers and case managers do alcohol and abuse interventions. so, FM me if you want more info...
NYYankeeGirl72
Posted:
Member since
Re: please help me, very personal &serious
My dear friend.....
It is never easy to share things of this nature, and I am so sorry that you are going through this right now.
I wish I could tell you where to go and what to do, but unfortunately, I don't have any type of information. The one thing I can do is be there for you if you need just to talk. So please if you need just an ear to listen to you, be sure to FM me.
Stay strong sweetie....you will be in my thoughts and prayers....
Kiki1103
Posted:
Member since
Re: please help me, very personal &serious
I am really sorry to hear this. I do not really have any experience with this to give you advice but I know it must be taking a toll on you. Are there any other family members that can help that are closer to the situation?
I agree with trying to have a sitdown with your mom and dad and try to get her some help for her. It sounds like she definitely needs some professional help. Maybe she would agree to go to some group therapy.
Clover23
Posted:
Member since
Re: please help me, very personal &serious
My heart broke as I was reading your post. I am so sorry you're dealing with this, and have been for so long. She has to want to get better though, like others have said. Otherwise you just have to distance yourself, as difficult as that might be. I can recommend a place to you if she does decide she wants help - just FM me if you want the info.
pjankowski
Posted:
Member since
Re: please help me, very personal &serious
ITA with Danielle. It is very hard to make someone do something even though it is for their own good. You need to make sure that you get the help you need to get through this. I agree with Al=Anon and I would consider a therapist as well. YOU need to talk someone about this and how it influences YOUR life. LIW is great but we aren't professions to help you!
ITA .... FFIL is an alcholic not a bad one but he drinks to live pretty much. FMIL goes to Al ANON meetings like a few times a week and she has her support system.
JAAMS
Posted:
Member since
Re: please help me, very personal &serious- UPDATED
BUMP for update
marinai7
Posted:
Member since
Re: please help me, very personal &serious- UPDATED
Posted by JAAMS
I hate that I have to post about this on the Internet...bc who knows who will read it... but I am hysterical and have no where else to turn.
I posted a few weeks ago that my Mom is an OCD cleaner, but that isn't all. To update: Basically she cleans for 10-12 hours per day. The same things over and over again. I just can't take it anymore... she's also an alcoholic... she'll drink 1/2-3/4 of a liter of liquor in a sitting, and then she goes nuts.
She yells at my poor Dad 24/7. She curses at him, tells him to drop dead, she just told him she hopes he gets in another car accident. She runs around the house banging doors.
She's the same way to. She has always verbally abused me, and she used to physically abuse me when I was little. When I was 12, she tried to strangle my Dad. When I was 8, she took a knife and stabbed herself in the stomach and showed me the blood.
I REALLY can't take this anymore. And I'm so concerned about my Dad too. My family says that's how she is, and there's nothing we can do. I've called the cops on her. They tell me they can do nothing. I've talked to social workers, they tell me they can do nothing. She went to a psychiatrist for a couple of months because my HS social worker made her, but she lied and he let her leave.
Does anyone know where I can turn to? I'm feeling so down...
ETA: She does this stuff when she's sober AND drunk. She just turns it up a notch when she's drunk.
UPDATED: Wow, I just want to say thank you all so much... NEVER in my life have I felt so much support and concern about these issues. My mother is very sweet to my friends in 'real' (meaning not online) life, so whenever I try and talk to them, they turn a deaf ear.
What an amazing group of women you all truly are. I don't know if this situation is going to get better for me, but I do know that I am going to try. Even if it doesn't, I just want to thank you all from the bottom of my heart for your support.
Always here to talk if you need.
HSsweethearts
Posted:
Member since
Re: please help me, very personal &serious- UPDATED
I just read this and I just want to offer some hugs and prayers. I'm sorry you are going through this. I have not dealt with that exact situation personally, but i know some friends who have found a lot of support though Al-Anon. I really hope there is a miracle for you and your family.
