please help - RD invite list

Help!

We are planning our Rehearsal Dinner, and I am trying to figure out who to invite. So, of course, there's us, and our BP. My FH has 7 guys, some of whom have serious GFs, and I have four girls (two married, one engaged). So, we invited our BP with their dates. We have a FG and a RB, and so they're invited with their parents. Then, our godparents, and our readers (plus spouses). We threw in a couple extra special aunts and uncles. Now, it's like 45 people. Is that too many? My stepdad just said that many people will spoil the wedding the next day. But my two friends who got married two years back both had big RDs and they said it was the most fun. What should I do? Should I cut it to just the BP and dates, and leave everyone else out? What are you guys doing?

Sometimes, I hate this wedding planning stuff.

Re: please help - i was just told i am 'spoiling' the wedding

When I had my rehersal dinner, it was just parents and the BP.

I think that your dad might be right. I understand how you want everyone to be involved but on your wedding day they'll all be there.

Re: please help - i was just told i am 'spoiling' the wedding

If the purpose of the rehearsal dinner is actually to 'rehearse' then there are some essential people who need to be there, and can't and shouldn't be left out. The biggeryour BP, the more that will be (I have 9 girls and 8 guys so I hear ya!). But how can it 'spoil' the wedding...i just dont get that. Treat it for what it is, a dinner, and time to get toegtehr with everyone who is taking part in makingthe day happen. IMO, I wouldnt worry about it spoiling anything.

Re: please help - i was just told i am 'spoiling' the wedding

i've been to 8 RD's (that's how many times i've been a BM!), anyway, some were small (just bridal party and parents) and others were huge (one had 80 people!) when they are that big, the bride and groom really don't get a chance to hang out with the bridal party, which in my opinion, should be the time that they do! (since it's impossible at the wedding). you'll see your aunts, uncles and guests at the wedding, leave the RD for the bridal party and parents. it will also give you and your FI a chance to relax a bit before having to entertain on the big day.

Re: please help - i was just told i am 'spoiling' the wedding

I would keep the BP, Parents, FG (and parents), RB (and parents), readers and spouses. Invite the people who are actually 'rehearsing'. That is what I am going to do and it is going to be like 36 people. Wow, I didn't realize it would be that many!!!

Re: please help - i was just told i am 'spoiling' the wedding

We are keeping it to the BP, dates, Readers and perents - If I had it MY way I'd invite the whole damm wedding !!! But that's not very realistic !! - Invite whoever you want ! You wedding will not be 'ruined' at all !! If those are the people you want around you that night, then by all means invite them !!

Re: please help - i was just told i am 'spoiling' the wedding

Thanks. I just asked my DFH, and he says we'll do what we want, and don't worry about it. I don't see how dinner with 40 people will compare to a 250 person wedding. I just thought I'd ask if anyone could figure out whether a big RD would ruin it.

Re: please help - RD invite list

I am inviting 46 people to my RD.

Re: please help - RD invite list

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Posted by randella

I am inviting 46 people to my RD.

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Ok. Well, now I don't feel so bad. Really, most of the list IS our BP and dates, so that's who we'll be with, anyway. I think it will be fine. I guess people just don't like what they're not used to doing.

Re: please help - RD invite list

We are just having our bp and their dates along with our readers and grandparents. I think if you want to have more that is up to you. I don't think it will ruin your wedding. So do what you want

Re: please help - RD invite list

this has been causing me stress as well. i don't know whether or not to allow dates. our rd is $55 / person without tax, 20% gratuity, or tip so it's also a cost issue.

we are inviting: parents, immediate family wedding party and their dates because they're coming from out of town, ushers, guestbook attendants. that brings us to around 24.

Re: please help - RD invite list

Ours was a combined RD/Hospitality Dinner for the out of town guests. So obviously we had the OOT guests and the bridal party and close relatives.

Re: please help - RD invite list

thanks. it sounds like some people do it big, and some don't, and it doesn't matter - neither way 'spoils' the wedding. I just think I am way overly stressed with just three weeks to go!!! (And thus, am not taking criticism well.) Oh, well, at least I am in the home stretch!!

Re: please help - RD invite list

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Posted by 1017Bride

Ours was a combined RD/Hospitality Dinner for the out of town guests. So obviously we had the OOT guests and the bridal party and close relatives.

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us too, we had over 50 poeple...which was about 1/3 of the wedding guests. But we lived out of town and about 20 of our RD guests were our friends from Florida who came up for the wedding.

Re: please help - RD invite list

We have 40 at our RD and I think that will be small enough to get to be with everyone, and big enough that it's the party we want! It really depends on what you want for the night before the wedding. some people want a relaxing dinner, others want to kick off the party weekend with a bang.

Re: please help - RD invite list

Yeah! And it sounds like you all had fun. I should stick to the rule of the boards - your day, your way.

Re: please help - RD invite list

We had 30 people at our RD. Parents, siblings, BP with SO, grandmother, cousins, godparents & aunts and uncles doing something on our wedding.