Please help..I feel SO selfish

because I want to go off the pill and let whatever happen just happen and I KNOW DH wants to wait....

I feel you BOTH have to be ready. I know hubby was not ready when ai was, so we waited until he was ready, now we both are just waiting

You are NOT selfish....I feel the same exact way. I feel like now that we are married I should not be on the pill. And esp because I see so many women nowadays having problems, what if it takes us a while to conceive....that I should let is be in God's hands. Right now we are buying a house so I am holding back to do 'the right thing' in my DH's eyes! So I know how you feel.

There are 2 sides to this, and if you feel you are being selfish, what about your DH? Isnt he being selfish? He wants to wait...you want a baby, there can never be a happy medium. I feel what MrsTC said about women waiting too long and ending up having problems conceiving to be all to true and sad. Studies have shown that a womans fertility decreases in her mid thirties, whereas men can impregnate women well into their 80's!

The whole 'lets wait until we have more money' or 'lets wait until we have a bigger house' truly annoys me, many people will always feel they will never have enough money or that bigger house.

Sometimes I think men dont truly understand that (some) women have this profound urge to be mothers and they longer they make us wait the harder it gets for these ladies.

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Posted by StayandJohn

There are 2 sides to this, and if you feel you are being selfish, what about your DH? Isnt he being selfish? He wants to wait...you want a baby, there can never be a happy medium. I feel what MrsTC said about women waiting too long and ending up having problems conceiving to be all to true and sad. Studies have shown that a womans fertility decreases in her mid thirties, whereas men can impregnate women well into their 80's!

The whole 'lets wait until we have more money' or 'lets wait until we have a bigger house' truly annoys me, many people will always feel they will never have enough money or that bigger house.

Sometimes I think men dont truly understand that (some) women have this profound urge to be mothers and they longer they make us wait the harder it gets for these ladies.

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Couldn't agree more, with all of it!

I don't think that either one of you are being selfish. I firmly believe that both people need to be ready to be a parent because if one party feels pressured, it will build resentment.

I would have been happy conceiving right after we got married, but I knew my DH was not ready and did not want to pressure him. He decided last year that he was ready and that is when we started trying. Now that we are preggo, he is so excited. He rubs my belly with this huge grin on his face, he looks forward to visits to the doctor to see the sonogram/hear the heartbeat, and tells me he wishes this preggo process would go faster because he wants the baby now. If we'd gotten pregnant before he was ready, I don't think he would be as excited and, for me, his excitement has made it better than I could have imagined.

Keep in mind, we are now married for about 2-1/2 years. If we were at 5 years and he was still hemming and hawing, then I would have started pressuring him.

Awesome point Stacey. I have so many friends that are in this age-group range and they are having problems conceiving. We all think we can push back on it; wait for a better opportunity and time when in reality biology has it's own timetable...

I agree with what everyone is saying but I think that if someone does have a baby before both are ready then it could have disastrous consequences on a relationship.
I think its a HUGE decision and life long responsiblity and both people have to know what they want and agree.

Just a note, I know so many people who got preggo the FIRST month they were off the pill. My SIL had 2 kids both were concieved the first month they tried. So one has to be prepared for that.