Please tell me FMIL is wrong

anszusterman Posted: Jan 31, 2011 11:12 AM

Please tell me FMIL is wrong

FMIL is fighting me on my flower budget (she says its a waste). She wants me to cut back on my chuppah flowers, so we can get custom linens. She INSISTS it is only a few hundred dollars for linens.

To any brides that rented linens-is she right? We would need 18-22 tablecloths and napkins for 230 guests.

SoonToBeMrsCali Posted: Jan 31, 2011 11:19 AM

Re: Please tell me FMIL is wrong

I'm confused. Your hall doesn't come with this stuff?

FMIL is complaining about your budget but is she helping you with this cost?? Tell her to shut it... in a nice way.

Moonmist09 Posted: Jan 31, 2011 11:22 AM

Re: Please tell me FMIL is wrong

wait a sec!
does your RH include linens in any way? even if they are not included in the hall, do they have an in house vendor they can use for this?
when i was going to get married the first time around, i had to provide my own vendor for linens and it was way more than 'A couple of hundred dollars' and i was having about 250 people, including napkins. i think the bill came out to around $600+
i don't know wha tyour looking for, but if you and your FH are the only ones paying for your wedding, then do what you want to do with your money and spend it on whatever items you want! don't feel pressured into spending more or less on one item because of someone else

WeezyGirl2354 Posted: Jan 31, 2011 11:26 AM

Re: Please tell me FMIL is wrong

I know my RH does include linens but if we wanted to change anything we would have to pay extra through them or get someone else to do it.

Example: we might do table runners and will go through and outside vendor for them.

Honestly - who is paying for what here? If she is paying for the flowers okay maybe you gotta meet her halfway but if not, who is she to say what is important and what isn't.

But before you push back on her call your RH and check with them about linens and mayb even get some numbers so you can say 'take that FMIL' lol

anszusterman Posted: Jan 31, 2011 11:37 AM

Re: Please tell me FMIL is wrong

my RH DOES have linens-thats what is messed up! She wants customized linens!!! I planned on having chocolate brown linens to tie into our fall theme, but she doesn't think it will look right. My parents are paying for the flowers (because my mom knows how important flowers are, and doesn't want FMIL to screw them up). I just don't know why she is trying to add more vendors to something that is already taken care of by the RH!

Soon2bMrsB91511 Posted: Jan 31, 2011 11:38 AM

Re: Please tell me FMIL is wrong

Personally, I think custom linens is SUCH a waste!

I can't imagine myself ever leaving a wedding and saying 'Wow, those linens were stunning!'.

It just doesn't happen. Something that insignificant is just that--insignificant and ridiculously forgettable!

Flowers, IMO, are WAY more noticeable, and thus WAY more important!

Don't let her cramp your style. It's your wedding and you should do what you want.

SoonToBeMrsCali Posted: Jan 31, 2011 11:38 AM

Re: Please tell me FMIL is wrong

OK so if she wants customized linens let her pay for them... or just tell her that they are already taken care of so there's no need to do this.

itbroi805 Posted: Jan 31, 2011 11:40 AM

Re: Please tell me FMIL is wrong

I looked into linens to match my colors and I am looking at about $1000 or so for 250 napkins and 22 tablecloths total. Some 12 ppl tables and 10 ppl tables

ajudgeinthecourt Posted: Jan 31, 2011 11:41 AM

Re: Please tell me FMIL is wrong

Posted by SoonToBeMrsCali

OK so if she wants customized linens let her pay for them... or just tell her that they are already taken care of so there's no need to do this.

this!

anjelagain Posted: Jan 31, 2011 11:41 AM

Re: Please tell me FMIL is wrong

I think flowers are a waste but, Its not my wedding, its your wedding sooo, Whats the problem here. Im spending a lot on table and chair linens and maybe youthink thats a waste, is she bullying you because shes helping pay?? or something? Its your choice so it doesnt matter what anyone else wants.

sujeire Posted: Jan 31, 2011 11:42 AM

Re: Please tell me FMIL is wrong

Tell her to pay for it then. Something I learn at Precana. If they want to add tell them to write you a check for it.

Jesebelle Posted: Jan 31, 2011 11:42 AM

Re: Please tell me FMIL is wrong

Check with your hall about the linens. If they don't offer it then email one of the rental places for a quote. Then you can really decide. It's your wedding. There is an argument for each but it's up to you. Extra flowers that are seen for only 30 min but are in pics forever (but the focus really should be on you two standing there now how many flowers are above you), or better linens that are seen for 4+ hrs but may not be remembered or noticed (really, ask people who aren't really into weddings what the linens were like in the last few weddings they went to, then compare with pics). The thing is, I doubt they are equal in price.

FutureMrsDe Posted: Jan 31, 2011 11:43 AM

Re: Please tell me FMIL is wrong

Its your wedding , if she isn't paying for that then its not her business. if she wants it then she can pay for it. it is not necessary imo

miselacanto Posted: Jan 31, 2011 11:50 AM

Re: Please tell me FMIL is wrong

Posted by sujeire

Tell her to pay for it then. Something I learn at Precana. If they want to add tell them to write you a check for it.[/QUOTE

That is true

jettahot Posted: Jan 31, 2011 11:54 AM

Re: Please tell me FMIL is wrong

Posted by anszusterman

my RH DOES have linens-thats what is messed up! She wants customized linens!!! I planned on having chocolate brown linens to tie into our fall theme, but she doesn't think it will look right. My parents are paying for the flowers (because my mom knows how important flowers are, and doesn't want FMIL to screw them up). I just don't know why she is trying to add more vendors to something that is already taken care of by the RH!

I just got some quotes for customized linens!! HAHA unreal. One place was $85 PER TABLE, the other was $40, better , but still ridic, IMO

HSsweethearts Posted: Jan 31, 2011 11:55 AM

Re: Please tell me FMIL is wrong

Custom linens cost a LOT

and IMO the FLOWERs are a LOT more important. They show up in more pictures, they are what catch your eye when you walk into the room, and people look at them.

And the chuppah is the most important part of your day..you're going to have 10000000 pictures of your ceremony, how many photos are people going to take of the friggin table linens, like 2?

And if people are more concerned with the table set up than the ceremony, they are the wrong wedding!

WeezyGirl2354 Posted: Jan 31, 2011 12:00 PM

Re: Please tell me FMIL is wrong

Well i think FMIL needs to shut up or pay up then!

You want more flowers then go for it but I agree with another poster - customized linens seem like a bit much especially if they are already included.

maybe do something added, like a runner or an overlay to make her happy but tell her she has to fork up the cash. And get FH involved - tell him to talk to FMIL so she learns to bump her breaks.

DCgirl82 Posted: Jan 31, 2011 03:56 PM

Re: Please tell me FMIL is wrong

OK personally I would rather spend the money on flowers than linens espec if the RH includes them already!! Flowers are way more noticed than table linens.. JMO.. I saw do what YOU WANT! its YOUR wedding!!!!!

Mommy2BeBride Posted: Jan 31, 2011 04:15 PM

Re: Please tell me FMIL is wrong

Posted by Soon2bMrsB91511

Personally, I think custom linens is SUCH a waste!

I can't imagine myself ever leaving a wedding and saying 'Wow, those linens were stunning!'.

It just doesn't happen. Something that insignificant is just that--insignificant and ridiculously forgettable!

Flowers, IMO, are WAY more noticeable, and thus WAY more important!

Don't let her cramp your style. It's your wedding and you should do what you want.

ITA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!