I am just wondering, maybe im reading into things to much, but because FMIL didnt want to invite her family to my shower, and now she wants to split up the Rehersal dinner into 2 nights, meaning the rehersal dinner will be wed nite, and the OOT dinner for her family would be friday night.
Does it seem normal that she is keeping the families separated?
Her excuse for the shower was she just didnt want to invite her family and she didnt think FH's side should be invited, that it was my thing with my family...fine i let it go.
The Rehersal dinner was supposed to be Friday night with OOT guests, she estimates 60 people and thinks its just to many people and she wants a sit down dinner. Some people i have told this to, thinks its kinda weird to have 2 separate dinners.
Another thing is my family all has work the next day, so if she makes the Rehersal Wed, everyone has work. So her guests going Friday night to the OOT dinner, wont meet any of my family before hand.
MikeandJess
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Re: Please Vote...Anyone Find this Odd (FMIL related)
actually the point of the rehearsal dinner, well techincally it's for a rehearsal, but it's also supposed to be a time where the 2 families can spend the night together and get to know each other before the wedding. IMO, splitting up the 2 families defeats the purpose completely.
TGs Lady 22908
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Re: Please Vote...Anyone Find this Odd (FMIL related)
I don't know the entire situation but it seems kind of out of the ordinary to seperate things so much. Aren't weddings supposed to also celebrate be the merging of two families?
Mici n KC
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Re: Please Vote...Anyone Find this Odd (FMIL related)
I think 60 people at a dinner is a bit much, but I do understand what you're saying. Why do all of these people need to be at the RD to begin with? Do you know FH's family well? They should be invited to the shower out of courtesy. If they don't come, that's their choice.
If you want your RD to be Friday, stick with it.
msflesch
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Re: Please Vote...Anyone Find this Odd (FMIL related)
Posted by TheFutureMrsM
I am just wondering, maybe im reading into things to much, but because FMIL didnt want to invite her family to my shower, and now she wants to split up the Rehersal dinner into 2 nights, meaning the rehersal dinner will be wed nite, and the OOT dinner for her family would be friday night.
Does it seem normal that she is keeping the families separated?
Her excuse for the shower was she just didnt want to invite her family and she didnt think FH's side should be invited, that it was my thing with my family...fine i let it go.
The Rehersal dinner was supposed to be Friday night with OOT guests, she estimates 60 people and thinks its just to many people and she wants a sit down dinner.
YES- very werid. ITs your wedding and IMO you and FH decide when the rehersal dinner is - NOT FMIL Some people i have told this to, thinks its kinda weird to have 2 separate dinners.
Another thing is my family all has work the next day, so if she makes the Rehersal Wed, everyone has work. So her guests going Friday night to the OOT dinner, wont meet any of my family before hand.
zoe282
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Re: Please Vote...Anyone Find this Odd (FMIL related)
My wedding is out of town in PA and we will have 1/2 our wedding guests from LI. Our rehearsal dinner is just going to be for the BP and immediate families. Yes people will be traveling from out of town but I think most people realize what the RD is for? If it were in LI only the BP would be there....I think it can go overboard if you start to invite everyone! I feel that everyone that came from out of town can meet up with the bP after dinner...
msflesch
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Re: Please Vote...Anyone Find this Odd (FMIL related)
YES, very werid! Its your and FH's wedding and IMO she should not be picking the date of the Rehersal dinner
AR31
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Re: Please Vote...Anyone Find this Odd (FMIL related)
is weird.. i'm sure there's another reason behind it..
snwb08
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Re: Please Vote...Anyone Find this Odd (FMIL related)
i'm sorry she's doing this to you. she sounds like a real pain.
i think it's weird/too much to have too separate dinners. why she wants to split them is beyond me - can't she just invite less people to the friday night one?
Espo22
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Re: Please Vote...Anyone Find this Odd (FMIL related)
it is very weird, and i asked you before how come shes keeping it all separate. I would bring this up to her, just say well i was hoping our families would get to meet eachother before the wedding in a more intimate setting and that usually is the point of these things.
Seems like she might have her own issues
Toucan311
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Re: Please Vote...Anyone Find this Odd (FMIL related)
It sounds like FMIL is a big pain in the hiney.
nifheim
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Re: Please Vote...Anyone Find this Odd (FMIL related)
um when did a 'RD' become a zoo? The only people it is for is OOT guests that show up a day earlier and the parents of the bride and groom and bp. Not the entire world that is what the wedding is for - unless your rich.
This woman has major issues and she really needs to be put in her place in my opinion. Tell her who you want to invite and thats that. One dinner not a two night affair what is her oot people too good to sit with yours?
shcole08
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Re: Please Vote...Anyone Find this Odd (FMIL related)
Thats very strange to me.....
mRm2008
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Re: Please Vote...Anyone Find this Odd (FMIL related)
Wow I can't understand why she would want that split into two nights. That is odd!
carolinebr
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Re: Please Vote...Anyone Find this Odd (FMIL related)
Tradition says the groom's parents pay for the Rehearsal Dinner.
Who is paying for the proposed 2nd dinner for the OOTers? Is she hoping you guys will or your parents? Is she trying to maybe cut her RD bill down by shaving guests......?
Also, if you have it on a Wed, your bar bill will be much lower b/c people won't really drink, once again, shaving her bill down.
Just a thought.
anneandchris
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Re: Please Vote...Anyone Find this Odd (FMIL related)
I think it is strange. Did she invite your family to the OOT dinner or is it just for her family and OOT guests?
I think it should be one thing on Friday night and if she must have the OOT people there well then it is dinner for 60. Was she paying for the RD and OOT dinner or just one?
My RD will about 55 people so I guess it doesn't seem like that big of a number to me. And we are having a sit down dinner.
bluegreen08
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Re: Please Vote...Anyone Find this Odd (FMIL related)
Maybe this might work for you?
We are having a 'rehearsal dinner' the night before -- for our parents, bridal party + SOs, the rabbi and his wife if they choose to come, and the grandparents. i don't know any of the details at all but we're having it at the OOT hotel. After the dinner FILs are hosting a little hangout for all of the OOT guests at the hotel as well -- maybe with desserts and appetizers or snacks?
I don't really know much about either, but this way the OOT guests (all of his family and a lot of our friends) can mingle and hang out at the hotel (so no travel required) without having to invite EVERYONE to the rehearsal dinner. a lof of FH's family members live pretty far from eachother so they will want to hang out and relax and mingle with eachother.
It sounds good in theory, I'm hoping it works out.
madseason
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Re: Please Vote...Anyone Find this Odd (FMIL related)
Posted by Espo22
it is very weird, and i asked you before how come shes keeping it all separate. I would bring this up to her, just say well i was hoping our families would get to meet eachother before the wedding in a more intimate setting and that usually is the point of these things.
Seems like she might have her own issues
I agree...and I dont get why there is a need for 2 dinners? its not just breaking up people....she seems waaaaaaaaaay too insistant! There are alot of other things for the OOT guests. Are you doing OOT boxes? IMHO - they dont even need a dinner....tack em onto the RD or just have the normal BPesque RD....
She does have her own issues and is making a mountain out of a molehill
and nif.. sd it too...when did a RD bcme a zoo
madseason
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Re: Please Vote...Anyone Find this Odd (FMIL related)
Posted by Espo22
it is very weird, and i asked you before how come shes keeping it all separate. I would bring this up to her, just say well i was hoping our families would get to meet eachother before the wedding in a more intimate setting and that usually is the point of these things.
Seems like she might have her own issues
I agree...and I dont get why there is a need for 2 dinners? its not just breaking up people....she seems waaaaaaaaaay too insistant! There are alot of other things for the OOT guests. Are you doing OOT boxes? IMHO - they dont even need a dinner....tack em onto the RD or just have the normal BPesque RD....
She does have her own issues and is making a mountain out of a molehill
and nif.. sd it too...when did a RD bcme a zoo
anneandchris
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Re: Please Vote...Anyone Find this Odd (FMIL related)
Posted by bluegreen08
Maybe this might work for you?
We are having a 'rehearsal dinner' the night before -- for our parents, bridal party + SOs, the rabbi and his wife if they choose to come, and the grandparents. i don't know any of the details at all but we're having it at the OOT hotel. After the dinner FILs are hosting a little hangout for all of the OOT guests at the hotel as well -- maybe with desserts and appetizers or snacks?
I don't really know much about either, but this way the OOT guests (all of his family and a lot of our friends) can mingle and hang out at the hotel (so no travel required) without having to invite EVERYONE to the rehearsal dinner. a lof of FH's family members live pretty far from eachother so they will want to hang out and relax and mingle with eachother.
It sounds good in theory, I'm hoping it works out.
That is a great idea. we did the same thing for my sister's wedding because it was out of state.
