Brides Helping Brides ™ - 'Plus Ones' on Your Guest List

Butterflyfaye Posted: Apr 12, 2012 10:51 AM

'Plus Ones' on Your Guest List

So I saw the topic on the main board of 'What do you Mean Only One' and decided to bring it here.....

What is everyone doing for their plus one policy?

Is it rude not to give someone in the bridal party a 'Plus One'?

I've been having a debate with FH about giving his half-siblings plus 1s? His three half-brothers are all in the wedding party (they are really close).

However, because they are family, we all know that the three of them don't have serious girlfriends. In fact, the three of them are not even dating. There is no 'girl' in their life. (except for the annoying Ex- of the best man who personally insulted FH and I more than once, and she's not welcome).

Knowing they aren't seeing anyone - is it rude not to give them a plus 1?

FH and I have the rule of married, engaged or living together for a significant amount of time Fh's sister, and her boyfriend of 5 years, who lives with FH's family is invited.

As I told FH, being they are family and in the bridal party, we coudl always stealthily give them a plus 1 if a serious relationship blossoms in the next year.

Would love to hear opinions

Eunified Posted: Apr 12, 2012 10:57 AM

Re: 'Plus Ones' on Your Guest List

I'm doing +1 for serious relationships only.
So if you've been dating for over a year, are engaged, or married, +1. If not, no +1.

Jax1127 Posted: Apr 12, 2012 11:12 AM

Re: 'Plus Ones' on Your Guest List

I feel anyone over lets' say, 25 would be allowed to bring a guest. Not everyone always will but I feel they deserve to have that option.

I do think no matter what the age, anyone in the BP should be allowed to bring a date as well. My fiance's sister is 16 and will be 17 at our wedding but b/c she's in my BP I will invite her with a date. I am not sure if she bring one but I feel it's rude not to...especially after all the BM's do for the brides and the money they spend etc etc.

Kris10nGerard Posted: Apr 12, 2012 11:16 AM

Re: 'Plus Ones' on Your Guest List

I am doing plus ones for everyone that has a relationship or engaged. If I have meet there bf or gf then basically we are inviting them with a plus one. Also they have to be over the age of 18. I am not inviting my 16 year old cousins bf of the month.

torresm Posted: Apr 12, 2012 11:38 AM

Re: 'Plus Ones' on Your Guest List

Posted by Kris10nGerard

I am doing plus ones for everyone that has a relationship or engaged. If I have meet there bf or gf then basically we are inviting them with a plus one. Also they have to be over the age of 18. I am not inviting my 16 year old cousins bf of the month.

Yeah im pretty much the same, we are doing +1 for serious relationship, engaged, or married and then our BP all get a +1. And we are not inviting anyone under the age of 18 at all, aside from the RB and FG's.

LilinBobby Posted: Apr 12, 2012 11:50 AM

Re: 'Plus Ones' on Your Guest List

what do you mean by doing plus 1? Is this on the RSVP card or something? I have a huge family and some of my cousins are still single so I don't care if they bring a date or not. I just assumed you always put & guest after their name?? Where does this +1 go?

Eunified Posted: Apr 12, 2012 11:55 AM

Re: 'Plus Ones' on Your Guest List

Posted by LilinBobby

what do you mean by doing plus 1? Is this on the RSVP card or something? I have a huge family and some of my cousins are still single so I don't care if they bring a date or not. I just assumed you always put & guest after their name?? Where does this +1 go?

The +1 is just a quick way of saying 'and guest'

nyrvixen Posted: Apr 12, 2012 12:19 PM

Re: 'Plus Ones' on Your Guest List

we are doing everyone over a certain age gets a plus 1

LilinBobby Posted: Apr 12, 2012 12:35 PM

Re: 'Plus Ones' on Your Guest List

Posted by Eunified

Posted by LilinBobby

what do you mean by doing plus 1? Is this on the RSVP card or something? I have a huge family and some of my cousins are still single so I don't care if they bring a date or not. I just assumed you always put & guest after their name?? Where does this +1 go?

The +1 is just a quick way of saying 'and guest'

DOH!!! thanks!!

Butterflyfaye Posted: Apr 12, 2012 12:54 PM

Re: 'Plus Ones' on Your Guest List

Posted by nyrvixen

we are doing everyone over a certain age gets a plus 1

See.... but then I get the fear that I'll have my friend, let's call him 'Joe' be asking around to find a girl to go with him...

Then have a dozen or so people at my wedding i've never met before, who are not family. (BTW, I've met 95 percent of FH's family minus those who still live in Puerto Rico, and yes even the 'family' of his mom's best friends he grew up with).

That - would drive me bonkers.

Shanti12 Posted: Apr 12, 2012 01:24 PM

Re: 'Plus Ones' on Your Guest List

I get it because I don't want some weirdo dates showing up that I don't know. But for the bridal party... and they are family... I would invite with a date.
My friend tried to pull this on one of our friends who was a bridesmaid and she was the ONLY bridesmaid not invite with a +1. She was so hurt and upset. She didn't bring a date in the end but just the idea that she was singled out. Everyone thought it was awful to do that to her.
So I'm a little lenient with people bringing dates but if there is a friend of FH and he isn't in a relationship... I don't know I'll have to think about it but I haven't had to put a lot of thought into it yet.
Sometimes though, a family is just huge and ALL single people have to come as singels. I think as long as it's equal.

torresm Posted: Apr 12, 2012 01:26 PM

Re: 'Plus Ones' on Your Guest List

Posted by Shanti12

I get it because I don't want some weirdo dates showing up that I don't know. But for the bridal party... and they are family... I would invite with a date.
My friend tried to pull this on one of our friends who was a bridesmaid and she was the ONLY bridesmaid not invite with a +1. She was so hurt and upset. She didn't bring a date in the end but just the idea that she was singled out. Everyone thought it was awful to do that to her.
So I'm a little lenient with people bringing dates but if there is a friend of FH and he isn't in a relationship... I don't know I'll have to think about it but I haven't had to put a lot of thought into it yet.
Sometimes though, a family is just huge and ALL single people have to come as singels. I think as long as it's equal.

ITA!

JenniBella Posted: Apr 12, 2012 01:35 PM

Re: 'Plus Ones' on Your Guest List

I am doing the same thing. If they are not in a serious relationship, Live together, They arent getting a Plus One. I am spending so much money- Im better off doing it this way. FH says that its rude- but you know what Its not rude, Its fine. The people in my bridal party arent having guests either. His friend did this for his wedding. I wasnt included as Joe's guest I thought OMG how can I not be invited- but now that I'm getting married I undertand!!!

torresm Posted: Apr 12, 2012 01:52 PM

Re: 'Plus Ones' on Your Guest List

Posted by JenniBella

I am doing the same thing. If they are not in a serious relationship, Live together, They arent getting a Plus One. I am spending so much money- Im better off doing it this way. FH says that its rude- but you know what Its not rude, Its fine. The people in my bridal party arent having guests either. His friend did this for his wedding. I wasnt included as Joe's guest I thought OMG how can I not be invited- but now that I'm getting married I undertand!!!

Yes, exactly! I'm not paying X amount of dollars per plate for someone I don't know when I can invite another member of my family or a close friend that will value spending the wedding day with us for years to come.

crisy211 Posted: Apr 12, 2012 02:19 PM

Re: 'Plus Ones' on Your Guest List

We are only inviting 18 years and older to the wedding and we decided our cut off for a +1 would be anybody 'post college' age. It never bothered me if I wasn't invided with a date prior to being in a serious relationship with FH so I think your 'rule' works too! Whatever you and FH are comfortable with others will have to deal with! It's not their day!

crisy211 Posted: Apr 12, 2012 02:20 PM

Re: 'Plus Ones' on Your Guest List

jf418 Posted: Apr 12, 2012 02:55 PM

Re: 'Plus Ones' on Your Guest List

Posted by crisy211

We are only inviting 18 years and older to the wedding and we decided our cut off for a +1 would be anybody 'post college' age. It never bothered me if I wasn't invided with a date prior to being in a serious relationship with FH so I think your 'rule' works too! Whatever you and FH are comfortable with others will have to deal with! It's not their day!

I agree! Any people not in relationships that we are inviting will know PLENTY of people there, so they won't be like all alone... I might feel differently if I had a friend or two who didn't know anyone. I'm only inviting one girl from my work, and I am inviting her with her live in boyfriend who I don't know as well, but I wouldn't want her to come alone.

FutureMrsSweeney Posted: Apr 12, 2012 03:03 PM

Re: 'Plus Ones' on Your Guest List

We are doing +1 for serious relationships only and friends that are traveling out of town.

LisaReyes Posted: Apr 12, 2012 04:00 PM

Re: 'Plus Ones' on Your Guest List

I'm doing what most other people are doing - serious relationships only. Obviously this needs to be handled on a case by case basis. They're your bridesmaids and groomsmen - so I think the best approach here is to talk to them about it. Let them know you want them to have fun, but also don't want them to bring a random girl because they feel like they 'need a date.' A few of my bridesmaids are also single and 'seeing some guys.' I just told them that if there is anyone serious as the wedding gets closer, they're welcome to bring them. They just have to let me know by the RSVP date.

soontobefreed Posted: Apr 12, 2012 04:51 PM

Re: 'Plus Ones' on Your Guest List

I used to be one of those guests who was annoyed when I wasn't invited with a date. Now that I'm planning my own wedding, I completely understand. We're currently at a higher number than we ever intended and we have 10 currently single people on our guest list(this includes two GM). We're willing to include +1 if any of those 10 people are in a serious relationship by the end of the year, but if we added +1s now we would have to add 10 people.
Also, I went to a wedding where everyone was invited with a guest, which was very nice. However, a friend of the groom brought a girl who was wasted the entire time and flashed everyone(top and bottom) because her dress was wayyyyy to short. The bride and groom were mortified. The date was some random girl because the guy didn't want to go alone.