My mom is hosting my bridal shower all by herself which has been quite an effort on her behalf since she wanted to have it at a decent place. That being said, she is paying per person so we sent out invites with response cards. And she was nice enough to allow FMIL to invite a few people from her side. When I got the list of addresses of the people that FMIL wanted us to send invites to, it was 20 something people long! How inconsiderate is that knowing that you have not contributed a penny towards the shower.
Anyhow, now I'm having an issue withe the in-laws because FMIL and a few of her friends have not bothered to send the response cards back. Obviously, I know FMIL will be there but her invitees that have not responded have called her to tell her whether they are coming or not instead!
Now here's the thing...
On which planet is it acceptable to respond by phone when there was an addressed and stamped response card included in the invitation? And more so to respond by phone to someone other that the person who sent the invitation and is hosting the damn event!!!
I feel like FMIL is leading people to believe that she is involved in the hosting of this bridal shower and making herself look good to her friends when in actuality she never even offered to help.
Also, I'm annoyed that she knows that my mom is who's keeping the list of who's coming etc..., but she doesn't have the sense to tell these people that they have to send the response card to my mom anyhow so we can stay organized.
And I'm afraid that these people will do the same with the wedding invites and think it's okay to just call her even though the invites did not come from her.
Am I wrong for making a big deal out of this??? I want to scream!
jenny2penny
Posted:
Member since
Re: Poll. Am I wrong??? FMIL Vent.
Posted by DKA1026 As for the invite list, I think it's always the case that the shower includes women from both sides of the family. My mom hosted my shower, but we have a smaller family than DH so most of the women were from his family. My mom expected that when she planned it though.
My situation is the same way. when my FSILs got married the BM all chipped in, I really hope the same happends for me....most of the women are from FHs side.
butterfly20
Posted:
Member since
Re: Poll. Am I wrong??? FMIL Vent.
i would have your mom call up all the women who didnt respond and ask for their response completely ignoring that they called his mother
If i were you at the end of the shower i would stand up and say thank all for coming and esp. thanks to my mom who worked so hard to pull this all together herself and did a great job . Then on the wedding invites and i would put a * if you cannot return the self addressed responce card please call #-------
Then at your party casualy menton to those people .... oh i wish you would have called i was going crazy trying to track people down who didnt get back to me.... they ll get the hint but dont intentionatly piss off your FMIL or your guests...JMO
kathleenmarie
Posted:
Member since
Re: Poll. Am I wrong??? FMIL Vent.
Yes, make an announcement at the shower thanking your mom for all her hard work! I love that idea! You can also call some of the people from her side who did not respond to your mom directly and ask them if they get a chance could they please send the responce card? You havent heard from them , and You need the card for your record keeping!
lullabella
Posted:
Member since
Re: Poll. Am I wrong??? FMIL Vent.
In my experience the bridal shower is suppose tobe for both sides of the family. So why wouldn't your MIL invite people? Usually all the women or most of them invited to the wedding are invited tot he shower. Yes I know it fcan start adding up, so maybe your mom should ask his mother if she would be interested in hosting it with her?
I think that you are getting to involved in this. Your mom took on the responsibility of hosting the shower, so she shouldbe dealing with it.
wc0143
Posted:
Member since
Re: Poll. Am I wrong??? FMIL Vent.
I agree with lullabella - why are you involved (unless it's not suppoosed to a surprise)? And if you & your mom know people are rsvp'ing to FMIL, isn't that still an RSVP? Pull yourself out of it so it will not further spoil the experience for you. BTW, why isn't the BP hosting the shower?
