POLL: Do you really believe that BAD families are a direct result of BAD areas?
Original post by Xelindrya
I would never judge a person purly based on where they live.
ETA:
Explanation: I posted that I once had to sit up all night and hold a gun in case I had to defend my kid brothers and sister. My father spent the same night out front defending our home (it was their LAST night there). It was a rough neighborhood, obviously.
Reference as made that this was 'BOYZ in the HOOD' type of environment and it was questioned how I could have a good relationship with my father.
Reference was made that with the things i've seen and been around I somehow require anger management.
My poll comes out of the idea that I find that a neighborhood good or bad had no reflection on the relationship with the children and their parents. You can still have a normal happy family no matter where you are. You can also probably have a very bad family unit as well, even if it was a rich neighborhood.
The discussion (if any) is why should one be judged based on where they lived and what they had to live with. As long as that person ended up doing good (which I think I personally have) and as long as those people try to be the best people they can be with what they were given. My family worked hard to keep me in decent clothes and teach me important values and keep me on the right track. I think they did pretty well. It shouldn't matter where I grew up.
JMHO
FUTHER TO ADD: You can have good memories in these types of neighborhoods.. I think that makes sense. If not, then discuss
HappyEverAfter
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Re: POLL: Do you really believe that BAD families are a direct result of BAD areas?
It may seem 'crazy' to you, but it happened. It was a drive-by shooting and the guys got out and were running around our street. It happened, plain and simple. It's not like it was every night. But I don't understand is how you find that 'crazy'. Why?
I dont know if it sounds 'crazy' but you have to admit, its a bit unusual to come out w. stories about sitting in your house w. your father holding guns. And then act surprised that people have reactions to it. Its not exactly a common story that people (at least not me) hear a lot, but you seem surprised that people are reacting. As if we should say, 'ho hum another story about people holding guns outside their home'.
Xelindrya
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Re: POLL: Do you really believe that BAD families are a direct result of BAD areas?
Posted by hmichick
I dont know if it sounds 'crazy' but you have to admit, its a bit unusual to come out w. stories about sitting in your house w. your father holding guns. And then act surprised that people have reactions to it. Its not exactly a common story that people (at least not me) hear a lot, but you seem surprised that people are reacting. As if we should say, 'ho hum another story about people holding guns outside their home'.
No.. i would agree.. but I qualified it several times with the fact it was a VERY bad neighborhood.. Insomuch that not EVERY area in San Antonio is like this.. Heck I love SA!
I can see it 'shock' someone. But to question how I can live there and still have a happy life is what has me confused. One has nothing to do with the other.
BellaBella
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Re: POLL: Do you really believe that BAD families are a direct result of BAD areas?
I think its the opposite. Bad familes drive the areas to be bad. I think a person/family becomes bad b/c the parents did not teach them the right and wrong of being good/bad. You are born good, its your upbringing that makes you bad.
peeweesgirl
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Re: POLL: Do you really believe that BAD families are a direct result of BAD areas?
Jordan I am not close minded I am saying that the poll is a little vague BAD=BAd Good=GOOD and don't judge I guess that is the closest to my answer but it is a little vague .. I am in no way narrow minded but I kind of find it strange about people carrying guns and being taught how to shoot to protect themselves.. It is not your everyday post here and the post was obviously to get opinions so I shared MINE
BellaBella
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Re: POLL: Do you really believe that BAD families are a direct result of BAD areas?
Posted by Xelindrya
Posted by hmichick
I dont know if it sounds 'crazy' but you have to admit, its a bit unusual to come out w. stories about sitting in your house w. your father holding guns.
I just have to say, only cuz a story like this has been brought up, of stories my dad told me when they moved to their house after queens way back when, that there was robberies going on in the neighborhood and my grandfather sat on his porch with his gun to scare the kids that dare to come near his house. Good for him I say! And it worked, noone ever touched his house these people should be scared, serves them right.
Xelindrya
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Re: POLL: Do you really believe that BAD families are a direct result of BAD areas?
Posted by BellaBella
I just have to say, only cuz a story like this has been brought up, of stories my dad told me when they moved to their house after queens way back when, that there was robberies going on in the neighborhood and my grandfather sat on his porch with his gun to scare the kids that dare to come near his house. Good for him I say! And it worked, noone ever touched his house these people should be scared, serves them right.
I say this in TOTAL irony and sarcasim not meant to offend anyone:
You mean that happens here too!?!? hehe
curly2003
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Re: POLL: Do you really believe that BAD families are a direct result of BAD areas?
Bad neighboorhood does not = Bad family but I will admit that we must sub consciously (sp?) believe that it has SOME affect on it b/c we are not running out and buying homes in the ghetto. Know what I mean. When I was looking to buy a home, I didn't say to myself 'It doesn't matter what neighborhood it's in b/c Bad neighborhood does not = Bad family'. I said, let's buy in a nice place. I'll admit it.
Xelindrya
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Re: POLL: Do you really believe that BAD families are a direct result of BAD areas?
Posted by curly2003
Bad neighboorhood does not = Bad family but I will admit that we must sub consciously (sp?) believe that it has SOME affect on it b/c we are not running out and buying homes in the ghetto. Know what I mean. When I was looking to buy a home, I didn't say to myself 'It doesn't matter what neighborhood it's in b/c Bad neighborhood does not = Bad family'. I said, let's buy in a nice place. I'll admit it.
TRUE
We all want what's best for us. I think good neighborhoods can harbor bad families easily. Good or Bad comes from home.
We still aren't sure if we want to raise our children here.
BellaBella
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Re: POLL: Do you really believe that BAD families are a direct result of BAD areas?
Posted by Xelindrya
I say this in TOTAL irony and sarcasim not meant to offend anyone:
You mean that happens here too!?!? hehe
Well this was before my dad was married. We're talking like >30 yrs. It's a shame on how much violence there is. See I believe in an eye for an eye. You should get done to you what you did. you shoot someone, you should be shot right back. you put a cat on a bbq out of enjoyment, you should be put on a bbq for enjoyment. That's the only way I can see justice being served. It's a shame what people get away with..
BellaBella
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Re: POLL: Do you really believe that BAD families are a direct result of BAD areas?
Posted by curly2003
'It doesn't matter what neighborhood it's in b/c Bad neighborhood does not = Bad family'. I said, let's buy in a nice place. I'll admit it.
I only have to disagree here b/c I don't want to live in a neighborhood where I'd be in fear of my child in certain school districts. This is a main concern for me. It's so scary...
julybride444
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Re: POLL: Do you really believe that BAD families are a direct result of BAD areas?
You need another choice:
Bad neighborhoods often have negative effects on those that live in them. Although there are 'good families' in them, it is harder to keep the family happy and safe and to raise children with the knowledge that they have plenty of opportunity.
MarcellaBella
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Re: POLL: Do you really believe that BAD families are a direct result of BAD areas?
we can talk about this all day..
the whole nature v. nuture debate YIKES
BMD'sPeanut
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Re: POLL: Do you really believe that BAD families are a direct result of BAD areas?
Posted by MarcellaBella
we can talk about this all day..
the whole nature v. nuture debate YIKES
it's already gone beyond ad-nauseum
Xelindrya
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Re: POLL: Do you really believe that BAD families are a direct result of BAD areas?
Posted by julybride444
You need another choice:
Bad neighborhoods often have negative effects on those that live in them. Although there are 'good families' in them, it is harder to keep the family happy and safe and to raise children with the knowledge that they have plenty of opportunity.
That would be a whole new line of topic. But I agree. Living in a bad area does make having good family values more difficult.
ChristineC68
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Re: POLL: Do you really believe that BAD families are a direct result of BAD areas?
I don't think that sweeping judgements like that should be made.
It's like saying there are only 'nice' families in good neighborhoods. One of my friends grew up on the upper east side and would give up her fancy address for a loving, non abusive mother.
butterfly20
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Re: POLL: Do you really believe that BAD families are a direct result of BAD areas?
i must say....
i live in what would be considered a real good area....
but alot of the families are snotty, and self absorbed... not all though.. there are a bunch of nice people too.....
it really depends on the family...
JennRenee
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Re: POLL: Do you really believe that BAD families are a direct result of BAD areas?
I may be living under a rock, but it never occurred to me that a person's happiness or 'goodness' could or would be judged by where they live...
MrsTC
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Re: POLL: Do you really believe that BAD families are a direct result of BAD areas?
In my opinion it's not always where you grow although, it can make a difference -
for me it is more about the people you surround yourself with. Or find yourself surrounded by!
RedHead
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Re: POLL: Do you really believe that BAD families are a direct result of BAD areas?
UGH...to hard to answer the nature v nuture Q's. It is a mix...there are no definate answers or conclusions.
nycchic_24
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Re: POLL: Do you really believe that BAD families are a direct result of BAD areas?
This is a very hard question/poll to answer.
I also do not think that bad neighborhoods make bad families. Its the way you were raised, what morals and values were and are instilled in you and how much your family works to make sure you remain a good person who upholds these values and morals throughout life. I do admit though that bad neoghborhoods make it hard to be one of the ' good families'. In a 'bad' neighborhood, a good family will be in the miniority instead of the majority making it hard not to give in and become a product of where you live.
Its also hard because sometimes due to the person that you are and have become by living in a certain area, you sometimes have to go with the flow just to survive. I do not live in the best of neighborhoods at all and I have a 16 year old brother. I see him struggle every day to stay 'good' which is very hard for him due to his age and actually his gender as well. He has developed a 'tough guy act' that Im sad to see but he HAD TO just to live here. So everything depends on something else. He is not a bad kid whatsoever, but he makes choices that my sister and I would have never made at his age because the neighborhood has changed soooo much and he has to learn how to survive in it.
