Poll: relationship with FILs

JanuaryBride06 Posted: Jul 16, 2005 09:11 PM

Poll: relationship with FILs

I'm having more rough times than good ones. How are you all doing?

salsbride06 Posted: Jul 16, 2005 09:13 PM

Re: Poll: relationship with FILs

im in the middle. we didnt get off to such a great start. then its been getting better. sometimes i just feel like screaming because we dont see eye to eye at all. then theres times were we talk and were fine. lets just say things arent how i expected them to be. i thought we would be alot closer like a second mother. my fh's father is deciced.

STUF04 Posted: Jul 16, 2005 09:26 PM

Re: Poll: relationship with FILs

We pretty much can't be in the same room together.

MrsP2Be Posted: Jul 16, 2005 09:36 PM

Re: Poll: relationship with FILs

His mom is a sweetheart, we get along wonderfully.
If she goes shopping she'll pick up something for me or she'll cut out something from a magazine if she knows I'm interested in it.

I always tolerated his father, but now that we're getting married the uglier parts are coming to the surface. He let me know he doesn't believe he should help pay for the wedding of MY dreams.

His sister is very distant towards me. I wish we were closer. She doesn't consider me the aunt of her son until I get that 2nd ring on my finger. Her husband is awesome.

Makes it a tough choice for the poll.

Goldi1021 Posted: Jul 16, 2005 10:53 PM

Re: Poll: relationship with FILs

I havent really had a great opportunity to develop a decent relationship with them yet. So far they have been nothing but nice to me. They came to my father's funeral without having met my family at all and came to my parent's home to pay respects afterwards. They always do the right thing so I really have no complaints yet. I am sure everything won't always be perfect but I am sure both sides will try.

sarahbelle Posted: Jul 16, 2005 11:28 PM

Re: Poll: relationship with FILs

I have a good relationship with the FILs. Since my parents moved to the South a few years ago, I have begun to think of them as another set of parents. They are very thoughtful - I don't have any complaints

hmpena Posted: Jul 17, 2005 12:02 AM

Re: Poll: relationship with FILs

I have a pretty good relationship with FI's parents. And my parents love him. Honestly, we work so much that we don't get to spend enough time with either family (sometimes this is a good thing )

JanuaryBride06 Posted: Jul 17, 2005 12:04 AM

Re: Poll: relationship with FILs

Posted by hmpena

I have a pretty good relationship with FI's parents. And my parents love him. Honestly, we work so much that we don't get to spend enough time with either family (sometimes this is a good thing )

I am looking forward to him getting back to school if only because it means less time for family. Our situation is beginning to get out of hand.

AlliNMatt06 Posted: Jul 17, 2005 12:07 AM

Re: Poll: relationship with FILs

I love my FILs and they love me!!!!!!!!!

BKtoLI Posted: Jul 17, 2005 12:09 AM

Re: Poll: relationship with FILs

They have been nothing short of amazing. They live in other states (NH, OR) but they actually sent me cards on my birthday this year, and his mom sent me a gift!!! His brother offered to do the flowers for the wedding (he worked as a florist for years). I'm just happy that we all get along. My family loves him, but he gets to hear me complain about them, and vice versa.......

Wintersbride Posted: Jul 17, 2005 12:13 AM

Re: Poll: relationship with FILs

Depends on which IL. His mother and I have had some bad moments. There are no problems as long as her and FH get along. Once she and FH have a problem then she bad mouths everything about his life...including me. My FFIL is cool and FH's Step mother is great...we get along really well.

Awhite80 Posted: Jul 17, 2005 01:20 AM

Re: Poll: relationship with FILs

My FIL's are absolutely amazing -they let me stay in their home 2 years ago for 6 months when they didn't even know me! They are such great people and have taken me to Venice and Spain. Everytime FMIL went to the store she would always bring me back a 'pressie'.

Our mom's met last year when I was in England and my mom visited me there, but his immediate family are coming to NY to meet mine for the first time August 4th even though we have great parents I am still a bit nervous.

MissingTheBGene Posted: Jul 17, 2005 08:03 AM

Re: Poll: relationship with FILs

Amazing - they are so wonderful to me. We all get along so great.

july06bride Posted: Jul 17, 2005 09:31 AM

Re: Poll: relationship with FILs

we get along really well- they treat me very nicely and i have no major complaints...do i agree with everything they do or dont do..NO but i dont with my parents either---so i put amazing

Preshy7 Posted: Jul 17, 2005 09:44 AM

Re: Poll: relationship with FILs

they are awesome- second parents. they make a big fuss over me

beautyq115 Posted: Jul 17, 2005 01:52 PM

Re: Poll: relationship with FILs

Posted by Preshy7

they are awesome- second parents. they make a big fuss over me

Same here...they like me better than their son

Princessmaris Posted: Jul 17, 2005 02:16 PM

Re: Poll: relationship with FILs

Dont get me wrong we have an awesome relationship..but sometimes FMIL gets way to controlling for me!!!

They have done alot for us....and are truely awesome people...I just have to realize that her and marie barone are related!

imyurfavgirl Posted: Jul 17, 2005 02:55 PM

Re: Poll: relationship with FILs

I love them and im pretty sure that they feel the same way about me. The consider me their daughter.

SIBride06 Posted: Jul 17, 2005 03:42 PM

Re: Poll: relationship with FILs

Lately... Not so good. At all

Ive been living with my FI in his parents house for about 4 years now. This story goes waaaayyyyy back and theres a whole issue to why I started living in there house in the first place ( Im not even going to get into that ) But I can say now that the relationship I had with them was wonderful at first, but I guess time just changed things.... completely.

My relationship with his mom is great.. she loves me like a daughter and although she feels this way toward me, I cant say the same for her. Theres just things about her that I cant stomach ( like the way shes 50 yrs old and goes to clubs in the city every single weekend) She has this way of really making people feel like crap somethimes because she never thinks before she speaks... ever. The first thing that comes to her mind .. she says with no consideration for anyones feelings.

My relationship with his dad is just wiltering down to absolutely nothing. In fact, god forgive me, I cant stand the man. He is an old school italian man with that old school mentality.. its just so horrible. He insults me to my face.. puts his son down like hes a piece of dirt and thinks money is the center of his universe (by that i mean that all he ever does is complain about money) Its so sad that I feel this way but the man has absolutely no respect for anyone.. or anything. He feels that he lived his life and had to struggle to get what he has today and feels that his son (and me) needs to struggle just as much.. if not more. I guess its a jealousy thing, maybe?? Because he never had the things at his age(car money, job) that his kids has today?? I dont know.

Anyway.. its a sad situation (for me). I wish I didnt have to live in his house, but now that his son & I are engaged (and struggling to pay for a wedding & a house) getting our own apartment right now would KILL us financially. It would set our wedding back another 2 years at least. My only other option is for me to move out to Medofrd Long Island with my mom, but it would be a killer commute to the city everyday...

Oh the issues!!

Anyway, so to answer your question, no my relationship is not great.. Im in the same boat as you. Hang in there. Remember, we are marring them, not there parents!