Poll: relationship with FILs

Original post by JanuaryBride06

Jul 16, 2005 09:11 PM

I'm having more rough times than good ones. How are you all doing?

aje78 Posted: Jul 17, 2005 06:31 PM

Re: Poll: relationship with FILs

I have been with my fiance for almost 8 years, so I am already part of the family.Of course there are times his mother annoys me, but I guess that is only normal

lacey&mark Posted: Jul 17, 2005 08:57 PM

Re: Poll: relationship with FILs

i have a great relationship with them! my fi and i have been together since age 16, so i sorta grew up with them. they took me on their family vacays and are taking my fi and i on a another cruise in 2 weeks! so yeah, they are great to me!
~lacey

lisad117 Posted: Jul 18, 2005 07:33 PM

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I only have a FMIL and she is great. She has really made me feel like part of their family. I was very nervous about that because he was married before.

cindyandkevin Posted: Jul 18, 2005 07:46 PM

Re: Poll: relationship with FILs

This is a difficult question for me to answer. My FI's mom passed away so I don't have a FMIL. He has no relationship with his father so I don't really have a FFIL either. And now he has no relationship with his step-father either, so no chance for a FFIL there either. Too much to explain in one post!

BUT! His step-father's bro and his wife are aunt and uncle to my FI. They've always been there for him and my FI asked his aunt to stand in his mom's place at the wedding. So I consider them my FIL's, and as far as we go, it's been all good. I make my FI happy and more importantly I make his daughter happy, so they're happy to see the 3 of us so happy together.

I consider myself very lucky!!

EmberLynn Posted: Jul 18, 2005 07:51 PM

Re: Poll: relationship with FILs

My FMIL told my FSIL that she hates my family, she can't stand my little brother and she thinks my FH should marry someone with more money and education! Everytime I've been stressed out, she proudly tells me 'welcome to the real world!' reality check, I've been living on on my own since I was 22. She on the other hand lived at home until she was 19, when she married and has had her husband support her, her whole life! she hasn't a clue what the real world is!

SuzBride Posted: Jul 18, 2005 08:06 PM

Re: Poll: relationship with FILs

EmberLynn Posted: Jul 18, 2005 08:57 PM

Re: Poll: relationship with FILs

SuzBride Re: Poll: relationship with FILs

I'm a little jealous of all the ones who feel like FILs are like second parents. FFIL gets on my last nerve - he treats FMIL very badly, is bossy and opinionated, and is always yelling.

I really like FMIL but tend to avoid both of them just because I can't stand the yelling and tension

which created a whole situation because FILs wanted to know if

I hated them or something because I tend not to come around when FH does -

but all the yelling and bossing around make me feel seriously ill and tense)

I'm jealous too! My FFIL is nice though, its my FMIL who l ikes to cause trouble. I'm greatful he can't her as much as I do. She told my FSIL horrible things about my family. And now shes telling people behind our back that she doesn't approve of the wedding!

ElegantBride Posted: Jul 21, 2005 11:40 PM

Re: Poll: relationship with FILs

I have a great relationship with them.

About time Posted: Jul 21, 2005 11:48 PM

Re: Poll: relationship with FILs

Mine are great ..One thing its also hard to not see them everday because we live downstairs in the house , other then that if i need anything they are always there I can say more then mine...To tell the truth....

Domey28 Posted: Jul 22, 2005 10:33 AM

Re: Poll: relationship with FILs

I have to say that reading some of the other bride's and their poor realtionships with the FIL'S does bring some relief that I am not alone.

I have been biting my tongue especially with the FMIL because I don't think you can get more evil than her, but FH still lives there so I need to be cautious.

FBIL is supposed to be the best man and if he does change his attitude by the end of the year there are going to be some major changes.

Question though for the brides with the crappy FIL relationships? Would you bite your tongue for so long if it just keeps building for the sake of the FH?

MayBride06 Posted: Jul 22, 2005 10:34 AM

Re: Poll: relationship with FILs

I have a wonderful relationship with them!!

JanuaryBride06 Posted: Jul 22, 2005 10:36 AM

Re: Poll: relationship with FILs

Posted by Domey28

Would you bite your tongue for so long if it just keeps building for the sake of the FH?

You can do it only for so long - if he is being mistreated and it hurts you to see it, you'd feel olbligated to say something. And it goes the other way - if they are hurting you, there comes a point where it could potentially affect your relationship and he needs to know so that he can help you. It's TOUGH to find the 'right' time or way to say something because no matter what, that's always going to be his family.

iffer042373 Posted: Jul 22, 2005 10:36 AM

Re: Poll: relationship with FILs

Well with FMIL is nice but she has done somethings that annoy me put it this way she is MArie Barone from everyone loves raymond to the TEE and sometimes is worse. FH Steo father I get along with him he is really nice. FH Stepmom I love her to death she is great and FFIL he is a doll as well its basically FMIL that we sometimes butt heads

Domey28 Posted: Jul 22, 2005 10:43 AM

Re: Poll: relationship with FILs

It's sad to say that it is a combination of both, FH has barely any relationship with his Mom. She is hurting him (never once asked how are the plans going) - and with me her big mouth comments have gotten back to me by the girlfriend of the FBIL. Go figure and there has been more than one.

signed
really frustrated

Noiva06 Posted: Jul 22, 2005 10:51 AM

Re: Poll: relationship with FILs

We actually get along really well... no arguments, nothing...it's been all good for the 4 years that we have been together. I actually love his entire family but this was something that was very important to me. I'm not sure if I could marry someone whose family I didn't get along with. I wouldn't be able to deal...it's just my type of personality, I like everyone to get along and be happy... Also, I was raised in a tight family and an important characteristic for me was that my FH is also from a tight family.

JanuaryBride06 Posted: Jul 22, 2005 10:57 AM

Re: Poll: relationship with FILs

I think it can be a bit more difficult if you dated FH for a short time period before getting engaged - people can really show their true colors once they know you're here to stay.