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Poll spinoff: which is the worse secret FH could spring on you?

Original post by Janice

Out of listed situations, which is the worst you can imagine FH telling you?

I am surprised at how many would have to break off engagement if their guy was bi
Bunnymonkey Posted:

Re: Poll spinoff: which is the worse secret FH could spring on you?

this is so shocking - The answer wasn't 'if you found out your man was gay' it was 'he has been with another man.' big difference.

A huge percentage of men have their first sexual experience with another man. This goes back to ancient times - many men are sexual with each other. Do you know everything about your FH> I'm sure many of the DH's and FH's on here have NEVER been with another man, but I think it would surprise people to hear how many STRAIGHT men have.

The most shocking thing FH could say to me would be about the illegitimate child. If he killed man I know it would have been in self defense.

Maybe I am just really liberal and spent too much time in the acting world but I think everyone is BI on one level. Just because a man has been with another man does not mean he is going to leave you for another man or that he is gay. It could, but it doesn't have to.

Is it a fear of homosexuality?

Are you grossed out by the thought of him with another man?

I'm genuinely curious as to why this would be more disturbing than murder or an illegitimate child.
Janice Posted:

Re: Poll spinoff: which is the worse secret FH could spring on you?

Posted by Bunnymonkey

Is it a fear of homosexuality?

Are you grossed out by the thought of him with another man?

.


well I know for me, I will try to not make this graphic, hehe, he is mine, he is my protector and provider, he is great in bed and I have sleepless nights if he is not laying next to me. okay, I am sure many of you feel that. now the thought of my strong protector and provider on his knees, or getting it from behind, seems to put him in a vulnarable position that I am not use to. I have only seen DH cry once, at the wedding, and that took me by surprise... I guess I want him to hunger for me and my stuff, the way I hunger for his. I have never kissed a girl, but as far as a double standard goes, if I was at a club and kissed a girl and confessed, versus DH kissing a guy and confessing, sorry, but to me it is different. I kind of feel that girls who are not gay or bi kiss and mess around with girls to get attention from male onlookers. Once I watched guy on guy porn, and it did not bother me, because they were gay guys doing their thing..If DH has me believing all along that he is straight, then throws a curve ball at me, then I would see him as a gay man because he did a gay act. I don't know if that cleared anything up......
Bunnymonkey Posted:

Re: Poll spinoff: which is the worse secret FH could spring on you?

Posted by Janice

Posted by Bunnymonkey

Is it a fear of homosexuality?

Are you grossed out by the thought of him with another man?

.


well I know for me, I will try to not make this graphic, hehe, he is mine, he is my protector and provider, he is great in bed and I have sleepless nights if he is not laying next to me. okay, I am sure many of you feel that. now the thought of my strong protector and provider on his knees, or getting it from behind, seems to put him in a vulnarable position that I am not use to. I have only seen DH cry once, at the wedding, and that took me by surprise... I guess I want him to hunger for me and my stuff, the way I hunger for his. I have never kissed a girl, but as far as a double standard goes, if I was at a club and kissed a girl and confessed, versus DH kissing a guy and confessing, sorry, but to me it is different. I kind of feel that girls who are not gay or bi kiss and mess around with girls to get attention from male onlookers. Once I watched guy on guy porn, and it did not bother me, because they were gay guys doing their thing..If DH has me believing all along that he is straight, then throws a curve ball at me, then I would see him as a gay man because he did a gay act. I don't know if that cleared anything up......


Thanks for breaking it down from your point of view. I agree about same sex with women being a bit different.
Imagin916 Posted:

Re: Poll spinoff: which is the worse secret FH could spring on you?

Killed a man: I would have to know what happened, and why. For instance, if he was a cop and it was part of his job to protect his life, then it would be very different that say killing someone over a parking spot

Been with another man: If it were a one time thing, than I guess I could look past it, but if he was fully attracted to men, then I dont think I could trust him to never be with a man again.

Has a child he doesn't acknowlege: I would not want to be with someone who wouldnt take care of thier child, so he would be out the door.

Former IV drug addict: To me this would be equally as bad as not acknowledging a child if not worse. From my experience of taking care of patients who are IV drug users, I know that there is rarely if ever such a thing as a 'former' IV drug addict, and even IF they do 'quit' they are usually addicted to methadone or whatever else is the alternative, which still makes them a junkie. Oh yeah, and that whole Hepatitis C and HIV thing..I have YET to meet a former IV drug abuser that is not Hep C positive, and sadly, only a few of them know that they are HIV +..the rest are, but dont know it yet.

Hit a previous girlfriend: It depends..if he was an abuser than I would get rid of him pronto, but if I knew that the circumstances were such as the girlfriend was attacking him and he hit her back in defense, then I would feel differently.
[email protected] Posted:

Re: Poll spinoff: which is the worse secret FH could spring on you?

Worse surprise FH reveals
he has killed a man On Purpose?

he has been with another man Great! More people for him to leave me for. Unacceptable!!


he has a child he does not acknowledge Is the girl teh reason he doesn't acknowledge?

former IV drug addict As long as he is clean now and doens't have any diseases, I could deal


hit a previous girlfriend As long as you never hit me, life will be ok...

lolita4life Posted:

Re: Poll spinoff: which is the worse secret FH could spring on you?

the WORST secret he could tell me is that he is having an AFFAIR!!!!

RedHead Posted:

Re: Poll spinoff: which is the worse secret FH could spring on you?

Posted by Bunnymonkey

this is so shocking - The answer wasn't 'if you found out your man was gay' it was 'he has been with another man.' big difference.

A huge percentage of men have their first sexual experience with another man. This goes back to ancient times - many men are sexual with each other. Do you know everything about your FH> I'm sure many of the DH's and FH's on here have NEVER been with another man, but I think it would surprise people to hear how many STRAIGHT men have.

The most shocking thing FH could say to me would be about the illegitimate child. If he killed man I know it would have been in self defense.

Maybe I am just really liberal and spent too much time in the acting world but I think everyone is BI on one level. Just because a man has been with another man does not mean he is going to leave you for another man or that he is gay. It could, but it doesn't have to.

Is it a fear of homosexuality?

Are you grossed out by the thought of him with another man?

I'm genuinely curious as to why this would be more disturbing than murder or an illegitimate child.


I have to say i disagree with your statistics on a 'huge percentage' of men have had homosexual experiences....
Where are you getting that information from?
Are you talking about historically or presently?
Are you talking about a specific group of peopel that YOU know or the population as a whole?
Other than gay men...i have yet to meet any man that have had homosexual experiences...

maybe you have had too much experience in tha acting world..i am saying that cause i have no such experience and have yet to come across any of the people you speak of..
Do i fear homosexuality... no...
if my man has had those expreiences YES.
YES i am grossed out at the thought that my DH would have been with a man.

I just don't understand why or how men who are not gay would want to have this experience?
marymoon Posted:

Re: Poll spinoff: which is the worse secret FH could spring on you?

I know a lot of heterosexual people who have had homosexual experiences. Whether everyone admits it or not is another story. LOTS of people 'experiment' in HS and college. To me it's just an everyday thing. Then again i was a theatre major, and just about everyone in my dept fooled around with everyone else..lol

RedHead Posted:

Re: Poll spinoff: which is the worse secret FH could spring on you?

Posted by marymoon

I know a lot of heterosexual people who have had homosexual experiences. Whether everyone admits it or not is another story. LOTS of people 'experiment' in HS and college. To me it's just an everyday thing. Then again i was a theatre major, and just about everyone in my dept fooled around with everyone else..lol

you've known a lot of men that have had homosexual experiences and they are straight?

most of the 'experimenting' that i have heard have been done by females not males
lolita4life Posted:

Re: Poll spinoff: which is the worse secret FH could spring on you?

i believe personally that everyone has a TINY bit of 'homosexuality' in them... like 1%. Afterall, we DO have both testostorone & estrogen.....
i think some people are just a tad bit more in touch with theirs... if it even comes out as it is.
I dont think everyone is 'gay' or 'bi'.. i am just saying that i can see some people just being a tiny bit curious... i think its more for girls....
maiahsdad Posted:

Re: Poll spinoff: which is the worse secret FH could spring on you?

hmmmmmmmmmm.......i NEVER have nor would i ever be with a man..........not that there is anything wrong with that

tourist Posted:

Re: Poll spinoff: which is the worse secret FH could spring on you?

Posted by oct.2004bride



Other than gay men...i have yet to meet any man that have had homosexual experiences...


I just don't understand why or how men who are not gay would want to have this experience?



maybe you haven't, or maybe you have & just don't know abou t it.

and for reasons why straight men would do this--I can think a of a few--
if a straight man is surrounded mby gay men & can relate to them, especailly at a young age, he may question if he is really any different than them.

if he is very lonely & and needing of affection & that just happenes to be where affection comes from at that time in his life. .

but to me, most of these things make sense to me for someone very young.

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