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Poll: Would you give a gift if invited but not attening?

NewYorker09 Posted:

Poll: Would you give a gift if invited but not attening?

I've heard different things from different people. My mom says if you're invited to a wedding it's very rude not to send a gift if you're not attening. She also thought it should be roughly the same amount you'd be spending if you were going.

Other people say they wouldn't give a gift at all if they can't go.

I'm invited to a coworker's wedding who I'm not at all close to but I won't be attending. Trying to decide what I should give.
jilliebean84 Posted:

Re: Poll: Would you give a gift if invited but not attening?

etiquette-wise, you only have to gift a gift for a shower whether or not you go. you're not obliged to give a wedding gift...though if it was someone close, I'm sure I'd want to!

jcreilly Posted:

Re: Poll: Would you give a gift if invited but not attening?

I rec'ved a gifts from Fh realtives who will not be coming to the wedding.

JLWSJC Posted:

Re: Poll: Would you give a gift if invited but not attening?

IT would depend on my relationship with the person. If I were super close with them and culdn't make it for some reason, i'd send the same gift I would have brought. If I'm not going because i'm not super close with someone (eg, coworker, classmate, friend of a friend) then I probably wouldn't send a gift.

ETA, Actually, I thought about it and if it's a coworker I'm closer with, rather than someone who just invited me because they invited the whole office, then I'd send a gift, but probably smaller than if I'd gone to the wedding.
Future Mrs H Posted:

Re: Poll: Would you give a gift if invited but not attening?

I always send a gift if I am invited and cant go

HSsweethearts Posted:

Re: Poll: Would you give a gift if invited but not attening?

You should always send a gift. I think in this case since you're not close to the person to begin with, I'd just send a nice gift from the registry

Lucky2010 Posted:

Re: Poll: Would you give a gift if invited but not attening?

I didn't go to a friend's wedding, but I gave her a $75 gift. I RSVP'ed no so it wasn't like she paid for my plate, but I wanted to give something. A gave $50 for her shower, which I also couldn't attend.

DaniandKen2010 Posted:

Re: Poll: Would you give a gift if invited but not attening?

I usually pull something off the registry or send something from Things Remembered

Nina1010 Posted:

Re: Poll: Would you give a gift if invited but not attening?

It depends on my relationship or lack thereof with the wedding couple. Most often, I send a monetary gift or something off their registry, but definitely with a card.

kris_gets_hitched Posted:

Re: Poll: Would you give a gift if invited but not attening?

I've always sent a gift, except for one case where I had lost touch with this person for 2+ years due to an argument and received an invite like a week and a half after the RSVP date.

Clearly I was an afterthought. I was either a filler or on the D list of 'we'll invite these people just for a gift'.

In any event, the friendship had already been long gone, and I didn't feel that it was necessary to send a gift since she didn't feel it was necessary to invite me with any chance to RSVP by that date.

(And the postmark was only a few days prior to receiving it....not like this was lost in the mail!)
halfbaked Posted:

Re: Poll: Would you give a gift if invited but not attening?

A smaller gift, yes.

AngnShaun Posted:

Re: Poll: Would you give a gift if invited but not attening?

Posted by Nina1010

It depends on my relationship or lack thereof with the wedding couple. Most often, I send a monetary gift or something off their registry, but definitely with a card.


same here... but ive never been in a situation where i had to respond no to a wedding...

FH's cousin got married last year but we didnt get the invitation a week before the wedding... FMIL never gave it to us...

there are a few showers that i couldnt attend tho... i usually send a gift with someone that day...
Im_My_Own_Princess Posted:

Re: Poll: Would you give a gift if invited but not attening?

for our e-party we got gifts from a few people who couldn't make it.
I know I've sent gifts for showers I couldn't attend.
We have never not gone to a wedding, but I believe its 'encouraged' to send a little something as a gift.
FuTuRe MrS MaZz Posted:

Re: Poll: Would you give a gift if invited but not attening?

It depends... so i chose other...

In your situation, no, i wouldnt send any gift

We didnt attend a wedding for DH's cousin who attended ours so i gave her half of what she gave us...
FutureJOC Posted:

Re: Poll: Would you give a gift if invited but not attening?

I would send something smaller

justnicethings Posted:

Re: Poll: Would you give a gift if invited but not attening?

Since it seems like a pretty random coworker, I'd likely send something from the registry that costs about $50-$100.

LadyDuda81509 Posted:

Re: Poll: Would you give a gift if invited but not attening?

some people do this...not everyone tho! i would def still send a gift if i wasnt able to attend.

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