post wedding advice- what would you do?

I haven't posted a lot but I just got married very recently. It was a beautiful day, I loved every minute of it. When I returned from my HM I was told about something that happened at the wedding that has been bothering me non stop. One of my BM's husband got really drunk (obnoxious drunk) and made disgusting comments about another female guest at the same table. I won't go into specifics but comments about her body and size of certain parts...and right in front of this female guest's FH too. It got so bad that this guest and her FH had to leave the table. I feel awful because this is a family friend who traveled a long way (from another state) just to come to my wedding.
I have been friends with this BM for years and I can't believe her husband treated my guest this way. I am hurt and I feel so bad, I can't stop thinking about it.
Would you say something to the BM whose husband acted this way? Do I not say anything at all?? TIA for any advice...I really appreciate your help.

Although you are embarassed about the way the one guest acted, you are not responsible for his actions or words and I'm sure that the guest who was insulted knows that and feels the same. I would not bring up the subject with your bm. I am sure she knows who she is married to, and would probably be really embarassed. Again her husbands actions are not hers...
I wouldn't let it bother you, you had a great day!!

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Posted by M&S Sept12006

OMG Absolutely say something and have this jerk apologize...not that it will change anything but still she is owed a million apologies!

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I agree! There is no reason why your friend and her husband had to leave early because of this guy's obnoxious behavior. This BM should realize how upset her husband made this couple. I know it's a hard conversation to have, but know that you are doing the right thing.

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Posted by shellibean

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Posted by M&S Sept12006

OMG Absolutely say something and have this jerk apologize...not that it will change anything but still she is owed a million apologies!

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I agree! There is no reason why your friend and her husband had to leave early because of this guy's obnoxious behavior. This BM should realize how upset her husband made this couple. I know it's a hard conversation to have, but know that you are doing the right thing.

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I agree. Who would do that...that's awful!

thank you all for the advice.
I understand that people want to have fun at weddings and drink...I certainly had a few. But why do some people have to drink so much and ruin it for other people?

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Posted by mrsdds

thank you all for the advice.
I understand that people want to have fun at weddings and drink...I certainly had a few. But why do some people have to drink so much and ruin it for other people?

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I have no idea!!! Maybe there is more to the story than you know? Who did you hear this all from?

I heard it from my mother and sister. My sister was sitting at the same table (she was my MOH) and my parent's table was kind of diagonal from them.
My mother was P*SSED! But no one wanted to tell me until I was back, I appreciated that.

I am going against the majority here, but I don't think you can say anything. It it extremely unfortunate that your friend's husband acted inappropriately but I'm sure she was embarrassed enough. I don't think there's anything you can say at this point. What's done is done. It may only make it worse if you harp on it.

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Posted by JandJ1224

Although you are embarassed about the way the one guest acted, you are not responsible for his actions or words and I'm sure that the guest who was insulted knows that and feels the same. I would not bring up the subject with your bm. I am sure she knows who she is married to, and would probably be really embarassed. Again her husbands actions are not hers...
I wouldn't let it bother you, you had a great day!!

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I have to agree here too. I am usually the one to speak up, but what's done cannot be undone. I would call your insulted girlfriend and apologize on your BM husband's behalf. Even maybe send her flowers apologizing and thanking her again for making the trip. Two weeks later its really pointless to open up this can of , what may be, terrible worms.

JandJ1224 is right, you and your fellow BM could have not contolled what came out of this guys mouth

Thanks! That is good idea. I think I will send her a really nice engagement gift with a little note from me and DH saying how much we appreciated her coming.
I feel so much better getting this off my chest!

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Posted by mrsdds

Thanks! That is good idea. I think I will send her a really nice engagement gift with a little note from me and DH saying how much we appreciated her coming.
I feel so much better getting this off my chest!

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I also think that you have to remember that you can not YOURSELF control the actions of others and to not let yourself think of this incident in relation to your wedding. ... even subconsciously.

I would def. speak up to him and tell him that it was inappropriate.