I want to get my rant post out of the way so I can focus on my advice and reviews.
I came home from my honeymoon, to be picked up by my Momzilla who immediately made me cry by yelling at me and telling me how pissed my aunt (her sister) (aka auntzilla) was about her seating arrangements at the wedding and demanding I call her and apologize. She claims she is insulted and felt like a seat filler. The whole thing is ridiculous on many levels. For one, they were only sitting in that arrangement for 3-3.5 hours (and many of those involved getting up and dancing and walking around). #2, She got my mom so upset that now my mom has now turned around to say that she didn’t want to sit with my husbands parents or her own son (my brother) and that she wished she was with my aunt and that my seating arrangements were terrible. We had less than 50 people at our wedding. There wasn't much I could do considering we didn’t want the young people mixed in with the very old and we wanted our parents and siblings to be seated together. We put a lot of thought into it and had good reasons for placing them where we did. #3, it is our day. Not theirs and they should suck it up considering I already took one seating request from them. Am I wrong to be offended that they are so pissed and offended? I don’t want to have to apologize or explain myself. It seems embarrassing and belittling and I hate that all they had to say was how they hated their seats rather than anything positive about the amazing day we had set up. How can anyone hold a grudge about their seating arrangements??
I would like to also mention that during the reception she complained that the entrees were awful and gave me attitude on my day regarding my photographer not getting photographs of us together.
I cried all the way from the airport back to my apartment. Which took about 2 hours. And then cried more.
I guess I have to suck it up and call because I don’t know how else to proceed.
wenR
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Re: Post-Wedding Vent! (a bit long)
Dont let them walk all over you. They talk to you that way bc you let them. I know it's easier said than done, and they're your family, but if you give in to them now..they will keep pushing you around. This is your wedding not theirs and they are being really mean to you.
Lucky2010
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Re: Post-Wedding Vent! (a bit long)
I wouldn't even acknowledge it. Your wedding is over and done with and they will never have to experience the horror of sitting where you tell them ever again! Tell her to cry me a river, build a bridge, and GET OVER IT!!!!
AwaitingAugust
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Re: Post-Wedding Vent! (a bit long)
that's very ridiculous that your aunt is upset ... and equally ridiculous that your mom had to tell you about it at all. Your mom should have just told your aunt that you did your best and have it be done.
I'm so sorry you have to deal with this now ... i probably would not be calling my aunt to apologize, but if you think it'll help, then i say go for it.
just get away from the drama and the BS and you'll hopefully be able to repress this!
summerbride20
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Re: Post-Wedding Vent! (a bit long)
My husband (did I mention how much I love saying that) believes I should not call, and I don't want to but just feel like I need to so that everyone is happy and I can say I did what you ask and now I'm done with it. However, I really wanted to email it rather than call but both my parents said that would be a double insult. This whole thing is insulting to me. I'm considering sending her check back and just being like sorry you didnt like where you were seated. sorry you came here is your check back. im so nervous to call.....
win01
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Re: Post-Wedding Vent! (a bit long)
I am sorry they are upsetting you, but I would tell them 'what is done is done'. I would not apologize to my aunt...She is not classy to disparage your dinner and complain throughout...So, no matter what you did, she would have still complained. If you apologize, you will be apologizing for her entire life.
I would concentrate on building your life with your hubby...It sounds like you did all you could...and hope you can put this crap behind you to remember the good times you had at the wedding.
AwaitingAugust
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Re: Post-Wedding Vent! (a bit long)
no, don't give her back the money she gave you .... if she's being a b!tch about this, she should pay for it! (this is my passive aggressive side coming out )
is there any way your mom can handle this for you instead?
mariedsgn
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Re: Post-Wedding Vent! (a bit long)
That's very ridiculous that your aunt is upset! I don't get people!!! That was your wedding not hers. Unless she was paying then she should have noting but nice things to say about your day!!! I am sorry that she upset you so much!
I know how you feel - my aunt told me months before our wedding who she wanted to sit with, and why she did not want to sit with some people and she complained to everyone that our bay after brunch s*cked because the coffee was cold - mind you we paid 23pp for that brunch.
AngnShaun
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Re: Post-Wedding Vent! (a bit long)
Posted by win01
I am sorry they are upsetting you, but I would tell them 'what is done is done'. I would not apologize to my aunt...She is not classy to disparage your dinner and complain throughout...So, no matter what you did, she would have still complained. If you apologize, you will be apologizing for her entire life.
I would concentrate on building your life with your hubby...It sounds like you did all you could...and hope you can put this crap behind you to remember the good times you had at the wedding.
ITA....
Windy
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Re: Post-Wedding Vent! (a bit long)
Ugh! So selfish! Dont even pay mind to them!
Ncarlo
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Re: Post-Wedding Vent! (a bit long)
ughh so frustrating they are clearly selfish and annoying.. I wouldn't apologize!
summerbride20
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Re: Post-Wedding Vent! (a bit long)
Well that is partially why I am more upset. My aunt influences my mom so much that my mom just takes her side. She'll always choose her sister over me, her daughter and that is so wrong. she should have been handling this, she should have apologized for me if she felt it was necessary, and i shouldn't have heard about it. But of course my mom can't handle her own problems and is now forcing this call on me because she feels that she has to appease her sister for both of them to be happy. All this drama over a seat at a wedding. We have legs people can get up and walk around. 3 hours is nothing compared to our lives. Why are people so stupid??
It makes me bitter that I'm giving in and apologizing and it also makes me want to do bad things when my cousin gets married. She's not even engaged but .... all I can think about is ways to make the day about me and complain to my aunt about all the ways i might feel offended... they dont realize how ridiculous they are being until the drama is on them.
dctead
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Re: Post-Wedding Vent! (a bit long)
Posted by summerbride20
My husband (did I mention how much I love saying that) believes I should not call, and I don't want to but just feel like I need to so that everyone is happy and I can say I did what you ask and now I'm done with it. However, I really wanted to email it rather than call but both my parents said that would be a double insult. This whole thing is insulting to me. I'm considering sending her check back and just being like sorry you didnt like where you were seated. sorry you came here is your check back. im so nervous to call.....
While I can understand you wanting to call just to make everyone happy..........
............they obviously could care less about your happiness!!!
I agree with your DH that you shouldn't call.. I'd try to put it behind you, ignore it and consentrate on the lovely day you had, your honeymoon and your new life with your husband!
Becca2010
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Re: Post-Wedding Vent! (a bit long)
The wedding is over right? Screw it. Don't call ANYONE. If your mom bitchhes again, you have to stand your ground and EXCLAIM that the wedding is OVER and she has to get OVER HERSELF! I can't believe the nerve of your mom and your aunt.
GR2010
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Re: Post-Wedding Vent! (a bit long)
I would just move on. It's over and there is nothing you can do. Seating is NOT easy and no matter what someone isn't going to be happy and for your mother to bring it up now rather than before hand is just wrong. Your aunt needs to grow up. It wasn't a popularity contest it was your wedding and everyone who was invited was there because you wanted them to be and their seat location isn't an indication of how much you liked them or how important they were to you. You put them where it made sense. Don't let them drag you down from your high. It's seating, not life or death.
stacey516
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Re: Post-Wedding Vent! (a bit long)
You and your husband are beginning your new lives together!!! I can't believe that they are bothering you about the past! Try to block it out (however difficult it may be) and focus on your wonderful future
Iluvpoodles
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Re: Post-Wedding Vent! (a bit long)
I would completely ignore the phone calls and everything else. Call her calmly in a few weeks and tell her she is not going to speak to you that way again. If she gets loud, do what I do, say very calmly, ok I have to go talk to you later, and end the phone call. Hang up. That's what I do when my family starts acting dysfunctional. It's over with, done..and it was YOUR wedding. if she didn't like the seating, too bad.
summerbride20
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Re: Post-Wedding Vent! (a bit long)
Thanks girls. I had a long talk with my mom, and I decided I will call my aunt to give her an explanation of why the seating arrangements were the way they were but not to apologize. I'm trying to remember that I had an amazing time at my wedding and that is all that counts but it is hard when people are rudely trying to squash your happiness!
AwaitingAugust
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Re: Post-Wedding Vent! (a bit long)
Posted by summerbride20
Thanks girls. I had a long talk with my mom, and I decided I will call my aunt to give her an explanation of why the seating arrangements were the way they were but not to apologize. I'm trying to remember that I had an amazing time at my wedding and that is all that counts but it is hard when people are rudely trying to squash your happiness!
i think this is a good solution ... it'll get everyone off your back and you'll be able to move on and start remembering the happiness of it all
irisheyes23
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Re: Post-Wedding Vent! (a bit long)
Your mom and aunt should stop being so selfish, petty and immature! Don't you dare give that check back. You deserve it for all of your pain and suffering!!!!
No one would dare tell me if they were unhappy with their seating arrangements because they know I would tell them to SHOVE IT!! But that's just me.
