Pre Cana Question

What is everyone doing about Pre Cana? We are registered for a one day Interfaith Pre Cana on September 22. We got a phone call last night from a member of the church saying that one day pre cana will no longer be enough. He said we must do the weekend or one night a week pre cana in addition to the one day. We already registered and paid money for the one dayt pre cana and we both tok off of work. When we met with the priest he said the one day would be OK. Stephen and I are both working 2 jobs plus Stephen works nights and I work days. We both work weekends. I am waiting for a phone call now from the priest. We aren't even getting married in a church!!!!!!!

Pre Cana Question

I looked into it myself...it's usually a weekend ...Friday night and all day Saturday. I don't think we are going. Although it is highly suggested, it is not mandatory (we aren't getting married in a church, either). We're getting married by a priest and rabbi at our reception hall and they assured us that we don't have to do it. Friends of mine went and loved it...you may not HAVE TO go.

Pre Cana Question

We did the weekend one. There really was no other option for us, since we live in Queens and getting married in Huntington. It was too difficult to drive out during the week. That is a real pain that they are changing it on you now. Good luck.

Pre Cana Question

I would definitely speak to the Priest and the Pastor if necessary. If they told you one day would suffice then they should stick to it. We are doing one day pre cana also. How far is your wedding? It might be too late to sign up for others anyway.

Pre Cana Question (long)

We didn`t have a one day option. We are getting married in church. We had an 8 week program - first was a 100 question test about all sorts of issues (communication, finances, sex, family). Then we had a 3 hour program, 3 weeks of group meetings in a couple`s home, a 3 hour closing meeting and a Mass. Although we complained in the beginning (I work in the city and normally don`t get home until after 8) it ended up being nice - we spent time together and I admit, it sparked alot of discussions between us. But you should discuss your concerns with the priest, because I believe the diocese (sp) is the entity which sets the standard if you are not marrying in church.

Pre Cana Question

If you are having a RC service you will need to go to Pre Canna. One thing parishes usually dont tell you is that you can go to ANY Pre Canna in your diocese. As long as you get that letter certifing that you attended it counts. Call the diocese directly if your Priest cant straighten it out.

egreen3792

Hi, my fiance and I aren't getting married in a church, we getting married outside, we are using a Catholic Priest, and we don't have to do Pre Cana classes. It is a legitimate Catholic ceremony, and is recognized by the Catholic church. We already met with the priest and booked him for our wedding next August. I don't know when your wedding is, but if you're interested I could give you contact info? Let me know! Good luck!

Pre-cana

If you get married in the Church then you have to do pre-cana. I have never heard of a one-day only class. It is usually a weekend or one night a week for a few weeks. I would call the Priest. Explain your situation. I am sure there is a way to fix the problem.

Please give RC priest info! Thanks! *NM*

Hmmmmmm.... My sitch and a request for clarification (long)

OK. FI and I did the one day Pre-cana this past April, 28th. Shame that they changed it to a weekend thing - obviously very recently. Question for Melissa and Staci - are either of you using Faher Fehrenbacher or Father Brennan? The other 3 priests I spoke w/ along the way escape me right now. Did the Catholic partner in your relationship receive dispensation from the Church? The only way (according to the Manhattan, Brooklyn and Rockville Centre Dioceses) to have the marriage recognized as a Sacrament is by receiving dispensation. Part of the requirement is attending the Interfaith Pre-cana. Incidentally, once you obtain dispensation, any legally authorized person can marry you, it doesn't have to be a RC Priest. We chose to have a religious ceremony incorporating both of our faiths. I did a TON, and I mean TON of research on this (I'm the Catholic partner, FI is Jewish). We did all the necessary paperwork, I got my dispensation and a priest from St. William the Abbot in Seaford is marrying us together with a Rabbi at our reception hall... I'm curious to know more about your situations. Thanks!!

Kathi

My FI (Catholic) and I (Jewish) spoke to a rabbi (Rabbi Applestone) who suggested a priest that he works with (Father Anderson). We are getting married outside, so it will not be recognized in the church. We only had a brief initial conversation, I will be meeting with them in October. My FI will sign the papers of dispensation....they told us we didn't have to attend Pre-Cana. Now I'm confused. Any ideas?

We are using Fr. Fehrenbacher

Kathi, We are getting married by Father Ferenbacher. We are both catholics and definitely would not be able to get a dispensation. To us, we know that it probably won't be recognized in the Church, but it is recongnized by us and is legally binding, and that's what we felt was important. Talk to Fr. Fehernbacher, he explained the whole thing to us.

Staci and Cira.... (long - again!!) :)

Rabbi Applestone is co-officiating at my wedding!! Small world! Anyway, he`s a nice guy... I don`t know of Father Anderson. Your fiance can get dispensation from the Bishop, but, Catholics are not allowed to be married outdoors. So, if Father Anderson agrees to marry you outside he`s either not RC or not with the Church anymore...the dispensation would not be valid if the ceremony is held outdoors. I spoke to a few Priests in my research who were either 'New Catholic' or had opposing views of Catholicism, but were ordained Roman Catholic (Father Fehrenbacher), as well as several who had left the Church altogether. Strange that none of them offered that information until I asked, 'Pardon me, Father, but are you still with the Church and were you ordained Roman Catholic?' Really, for us (me, actually), it`s very important to have my marriage recognized by the Church. It`s such a personal decision - for you and your fiance. This is just my 'story'!! And, Cira...I heard wonderful things about Fr. Fehrenbacher and his beautiful wedding ceremonies, which is why I called him first! He just wasn`t what we were looking for. Sorry so long, ladies!! All the best to you both! :)

More info on Fr. Fehrenbacher

I am interested in using a Catholic priest to marry us outside of a church...can anyone give me more info? Why is he good? How much does he charge? Will he do the rehearsal dinner? Any other important info?

More info on Fr. Fehrenbacher

1) I just heard good things about him...never saw him in action 2) If I remember correctly he's $500 3) They'll all do the RD if you *compensate* them...he lives in Manhattan 4) None that I can think of!! Good luck! :)

We used Fr. Fehrenbacher

to answer your questions... he is good because we liked him, but not everyone jives with every priest, so it`s really a personal choice as to why a priest is 'good'. he charged us $350, plus transportation costs, which wasn`t much - he took the LIRR & then a cab to Fox Hollow. He MAY do a rehearsal dinner, but he`s not really into doing so (plus his schedule is crazy). I`m sure if it`s really important to you, he may agree to it. But his ceremony is fairly short, so a rehearsal honestly is not necessary. He does give you an actual church approved marriage certificate as well. He works with St. Sebastian (I think that`s the name, don`t have it in front of me) in Staten Island, so the certificate is from that church. We liked his attitude & he was very organized & pleasant. Good luck!

Oh, forgot to say that we are both Catholics! *NM*

Could you post Fr. Fehrenbacher info? *NM*

Fr. Fehrenbacher info?

Cecily is right - he's $350 (plus transportation) and does give you a church certificate. He wrote this article that appeared in the US Catholic about being married outside the Church. I'm a full blown Catholic, went to parochial school, was a catechist for two years, but feel I should be able to be married anywhere I chose. Just needed to say that. His number is 212-594-2069. Good Luck!

Kathi

Thanks so much for all the information. I'm sure we will get more questions answered when we meet with both of them in October. I appreciate the help.