Pre Cana Questions

Ronnie&Theresa Posted: Jan 20, 2003 09:54 AM

Pre Cana Questions

My father said this..

He spoke to the priest at the church and they said they aren't happy about us living together and that we SHOULDN'T mention it at pre cana..

Are they NUts? I have to lie about my living situation..

Anyone else deal with this?

IrishTracy Posted: Jan 20, 2003 09:56 AM

Re: Pre Cana Questions

I think it depends on the church. Some are VERY old fashioned!! Our church new that we were & that we had a child. They weren't thrilled but they kept their comments to themselves. The priest was only there for the introduction but the rest of the pre-cana was done w/ a married couple.

Betty Posted: Jan 20, 2003 09:57 AM

Re: Pre Cana Questions

We don't live together but I have heard this. We start PreCana on Thursday so I'll let you know if anyone admits it.

wacky Posted: Jan 20, 2003 09:58 AM

Re: Pre Cana Questions

You have to lie about everything at Pre-Cana, church likes to hear no evil see no evil.

They dont really ask, so dont tell

jennbaby Posted: Jan 20, 2003 09:59 AM

Re: Pre Cana Questions

We live together & we said we did (John did) lol, anyway they didn't like it, but it wasn't a big issue.

Ronnie&Theresa Posted: Jan 20, 2003 10:02 AM

Re: Pre Cana Questions

I will TELL them off if they want me to LIE .

I feel if the priest that is marrying us doens't have a problem then why should ANYONE ELSE..

They gave Dad this papers saying

'living together in sin'

NovemberSue Posted: Jan 20, 2003 10:03 AM

Re: Pre Cana Questions

Sometimes you're better off just not saying anything to them.

wacky Posted: Jan 20, 2003 10:04 AM

Re: Pre Cana Questions

Theresa it doesnt matter. I had a big fight with the priest and unless you dont want to get married in hte church thats your only recourse.

Just get the Pre-Cana over and done with

Stacey1403 Posted: Jan 20, 2003 10:06 AM

Re: Pre Cana Questions

Living together in sin isn't that the best way to live together(insert devil horns )

Niecey Posted: Jan 20, 2003 10:14 AM

Re: Pre Cana Questions

Lou and I weren't living together (we moved in together a couple months later!) when we first met with the priest so we avoided the lecture from the priest. He just lectured us for not going to church regularly (we didn't lie and said we rarely go..didn't go over well).

When we went to PreCana, Lou wanted to lie...I refused. I am happy with our decision and feel no need to lie. We didn't lie but to tell you the truth, it really didn't come up. I went to Pre Cana at that other church in HB (Our Lady of Grace). The couple (the Murrays) were really sweet and I don't think they even realized how old we were and that we lived togther until the last few weeks. The couple was pretty cool. They never really preached the Catholic church preachings/teachings and all that. More on life and relationships and potential issues (communication, sex, etc.). We had some St. Helens peolpe in our group as well. People just heard the one at OLG was good.

Ronnie&Theresa Posted: Jan 20, 2003 10:17 AM

Re: Pre Cana Questions

Was his name Dan Murray?

If so he is A GREAT friend of Dad;'s..

I am 100% with you D..

I am not LYING!!!

CathyB Posted: Jan 20, 2003 10:22 AM

Re: Pre Cana Questions

Half the couples in our pre-cana group were living together, and the couples who led it didn't make a comment either way. I know that one couple told the priest they were living together, and he didn't say anything to them.

p&a91203 Posted: Jan 20, 2003 10:23 AM

Re: Pre Cana Questions

You shouldn't have to lie, but you have to realize that it's the church's and the Catholic religion's beliefs to not even have pre-marital sex! Living together implies this so that is why they consider it 'living in sin'. It is so crazy to think of it that way in this day in age! Regardless, I wouldn't lie either!

Fran M Posted: Jan 20, 2003 10:41 AM

Re: Pre Cana Questions

Every Parish handles pre cana a little differently. As far as this subject is concerned I think its a case of If they dont ask dont offer. But if I remember correctly they never came right out and asked about living arangements. There were no group discussions about anything personal at all. We just heard about varous topics from two married couples, watched a video and discussed the topic privately.

OCT1203 Posted: Jan 20, 2003 10:53 AM

Re: Pre Cana Questions

We just started pre-cana and our married couple are really nice. They said they didn't care whether we believed in god, lived together or went to church that is our personal business. They said whatever we say doesn't go out of this room and that they don't go back and give the church a report on everyone. They actually told us that they lived together before they were married.

When we went to go originally book the church, the deacon asked us our address and we did tell him separate ones just because we were nervous but know i could care less. He know anyway because he had to call us for something and it says right on our answering machine both of our names. Too Bad!!!

bride082003 Posted: Jan 20, 2003 10:55 AM

Re: Pre Cana Questions

hmmmm...I went through the same thing. When I asked the parental figures, they told me to lie because as someone said above, we are living in sin.

So we just gave different addresses for the paperwork and we havent yet been asked.

I was afraid that the church would say they couldnt marry us if we told them. I know its horrible but in todays world, its becoming the norm - and plus the fact that most brides today are much older than our parents were when they married! Its more common to see people living together before they get married. EVERY person I know recently who got married/is getting married, lived/lives together.

Do what you think is best for you. GOOD LUCK

MISHY Posted: Jan 20, 2003 03:27 PM

Re: Pre Cana Questions

When you take the FOCUUS TEST there is an extra 30-50 questions they ask you to answer if you are living together, so I guess they don't have a major problem or else they wouldn't put it..

spel Posted: Jan 20, 2003 04:43 PM

Re: Pre Cana Questions

in my church it made no difference whatsoever. we told them up front & honestly, they didn't care one bit. and yes, on the foccus test there were extra questions for us to answer.
i guess it depends on how traditional your church is.

Jenn524 Posted: Jan 20, 2003 05:32 PM

Re: Pre Cana Questions

We told out priest and his answer was 'I don't agree with you living together before you get married. But with everything going on in the church right now, who am I to judge you?' He was so happy that we wanted to get married in the church and he just asked us to not have sexual relations before we got married. He didn't seem to mind.

avesur Posted: Jan 20, 2003 05:37 PM

Re: Pre Cana Questions

Sorry that you are going through this!!!
If it happened to us we would be

In a way, I am very glad that FH is not catholic so we are not doing Pre Cana

good luck!

Elena