So Nick and I had the 'Liturgy Planning' peice of pre-cana yesterday. Where you pick out your readings and music and such for the ceremony. It was about 12 engaged couples, the head priest of the church and the music director.
Anyway, the priest went on and on about how the vows are the most important part of the day. They are sacred, etc. He also said he wants us to memorize them for that day.
OK, so he asked for a volunteer couple but it seemed that no on knew what they were volunteering for so no one said anything. So he picked this random couple and made them stand up. Then he says, 'The day of your wedding will go like this....' And he literally gave the exact marriage priest speech they do, asked the 'volunteer' couple the consent questions (i.e. do you enter into this marriage freely? etc). He made both of them answer the questions. Then, and here's the real disturbing part, he made them say their vows!!!!!!! The priest even joked about how now they should kiss and congratulate each other!
I felt so horrible for them. They looked so uncomfortable. The FH even joked to the priest after it (but you could totally tell that he was half serious) 'so does this mean that we're married now and I can cancel everything else?' To which the priest looked almost like he got nervous and made up some BS about how it is a very religious thing, but there is also legal aspects to it (the license).
When we left Nick said to me that he just prayed the priest wouldn't ask us to do it b/c he would have said no and I would have agreed with him. I mean the priest made this huge deal about sacred vows, yet he seemed to just throw them around. I honestly feel like (and I'm really not that religious) this couple is now married by the eyes of God. With the exception of the exchanging of rings, they went through the whole process!!
I just had to share this with you girls. Does anyone else find this disturbing? I just can't stop thinking about how wrong it seemed!!
I don't know. I mean I get the whole practicing thing. And if he had just made them do one part we might not have reacted this way. But it was so much exactly the way it is beginning to end that we were like, 'so why is it any different than the wedding day?' But maybe it was one of those 'you had to be there moments'. Or maybe not. For us though, we were uncomfortable.
I don't think it was disturbing, he was showing them what to expect... but maybe he could have just explained it.. i wouldnt want to be the one up there.
ohh wow that is weird ~ we did not do that in our class... they gave us a book and we have to go over this personal stuff in private with our priest a few months before our wedding....
that is disturbing ~ i would not have wanted to do that if i was chosen!
I don't think it's disturbing.. Maybe he was trying to be helpful, so that couples know what to expect on the wedding day..
I agree. I think he was showing practice. Like how your day will go. Don't take it personal Val. It wasn't you.
I agree, you have a rehersal where you practice your vows...plus, if this is a Catholic church, in the Diocese of Rockville Center, marriages can only be performed in the church!
I find that really weird. The Priest should of just went through everything and told everyone else to follow along with him. To single out a couple and have them do the whole thing is a bit much for me too. This is NOT something you should have to practice for.
When we did Pre-Cana during the discussion about the vows as a group we all said our vows to each other. They were like this is a very important and sacred moment that will pass really fast and you wont fully get a feel for what you are saying so we are going to take the time now and go over them...look into your significant others eyes and repeat after us, etc...
The way it was handled for you does seem odd, for us it was a really nice experience.
ugh i am so not looking forward to pre-cana. I would be so upset if i was that couple - i dont want to practice the vows at my rehearsal either - it takes away from it on the big day i think
