Pre-Matrimonial Interview (Catholic)

FH and I met with the priest at St. Patrick's Cathedral today and we completed the PMI interview!! We were interviewed separately and it was nerve-wracking! I totally got GRILLED and thought I was going to fail it but luckily I passed!!!

To all you Catholic ladies - make sure you know the 4 requirements for marriage and all the impediments!!!!!!!!!

Yay!! One more thing off my plate!!!!!

Congrats!

Its not really a pass or fail thing, either way you would 'pass' it

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Posted by PegaLega

Congrats!

Its not really a pass or fail thing, either way you would 'pass' it

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that's right it's not a pass or fail -- it just felt that way coz the priest was sooooooooooooo tough and mean!! i was asked to enumerate all 4 requirements (he expects that u have them memorized) and i was asked to explain all impediments - things I've never even heard or read about before!!!

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Had to edit to take this back -- it's actually a PASS OR FAIL! They can tell you you're not allowed to get married if you don't meet the requirements (read: impediments)

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Posted by PegaLega

Congrats!

Its not really a pass or fail thing, either way you would 'pass' it

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I was going to say ... what can they tell, nope, you are not allowed to get married??

I am Catholic - but not receiving the sacrament of marriage. Thought long and hard about this, and I just don't like anyone telling me what I have to do in order to get married. I know that some girls will frown on that -- believe me, my mom is upset about it -- but I taught religion for years, even to special ed kids, ran a christian / catholic youth group, and was a cantor in church. I was pretty religious. But I just fell out of favor with alllll the rules - mostly manmade.

But, I can understand your excitement over getting something else checked off your list -- so congrats!

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Posted by JBoothIn2008

I was going to say ... what can they tell, nope, you are not allowed to get married??

I am Catholic - but not receiving the sacrament of marriage. Thought long and hard about this, and I just don't like anyone telling me what I have to do in order to get married. I know that some girls will frown on that -- believe me, my mom is upset about it -- but I taught religion for years, even to special ed kids, ran a christian / catholic youth group, and was a cantor in church. I was pretty religious. But I just fell out of favor with alllll the rules - mostly manmade.

But, I can understand your excitement over getting something else checked off your list -- so congrats!

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Believe it or not, they can actually do that (tell you ur not allowed to get married)!!!

I totally understand your point, if I had a choice (and i know i do, but we're doing the traditional ceremony out of respect for our families who are strict Catholics) I wouldn't go through this long list of brutal requirements either!!

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Posted by JBoothIn2008

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Posted by PegaLega

Congrats!

Its not really a pass or fail thing, either way you would 'pass' it

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I was going to say ... what can they tell, nope, you are not allowed to get married??

I am Catholic - but not receiving the sacrament of marriage. Thought long and hard about this, and I just don't like anyone telling me what I have to do in order to get married. I know that some girls will frown on that -- believe me, my mom is upset about it -- but I taught religion for years, even to special ed kids, ran a christian / catholic youth group, and was a cantor in church. I was pretty religious. But I just fell out of favor with alllll the rules - mostly manmade.

But, I can understand your excitement over getting something else checked off your list -- so congrats!

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yea there are a lot of rules, i tend to agree with you there- my priest says that i am a cafeteria style catholic- i take what i want & leave the rest- like you said though, most stuff isnt in the bible so why should I follow it.

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Posted by futuremrsfab

yea there are a lot of rules, i tend to agree with you there- my priest says that i am a cafeteria style catholic- i take what i want & leave the rest- like you said though, most stuff isnt in the bible so why should I follow it.

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yeah i was raised Catholic and went to Catholic school from gradeschool to highschool. I started questioning the 'rules' only when i started college - which i think was too late -- i think the church is really in crisis because there are many young people like us who have 'moved away' because of all the ridiculous outdated rules ... i wish the Pope would do something about it! BTW, he'll be in NYC in April - that's why they're cleaning up St. Patrick's Cathedral -- we asked the priest today when the scaffoldings will come off coz we don't want them on our wedding day

I think the difficulty of the questions, etc. depends on the church or priest that you go to. Some churches are so lenient theyre just happy with people wanting to take the sacrament of marriage these days

I'm glad you passed

Im shocked...when we had ours the priest said to us that we can not fail and that the church will NOT tell us we cant get married there b/c of it

Weird, I guess all churches are different

I too am getting married in a Catholic Church.
Did you guys have to fill out a Pre nuptial investigation form by the Diocese of RC?
It asked if you had ever been to professional counseling. I asked what if you had. The Deacon said they may ask you to sign a release form so they could talk to your doctor. i think this is a little intrusive. I don' think they have the right to do that. i understand they want you to be able to enter the marriage freely sand maube want to make sure you can make a decision on uour own. Do they really need to dig into your life that much. I was raised Catholic and really want to get married in the catholic church but that question really made me think twice.

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Posted by jbean36251

I too am getting married in a Catholic Church.
Did you guys have to fill out a Pre nuptial investigation form by the Diocese of RC?
It asked if you had ever been to professional counseling. I asked what if you had. The Deacon said they may ask you to sign a release form so they could talk to your doctor. i think this is a little intrusive. I don' think they have the right to do that. i understand they want you to be able to enter the marriage freely sand maube want to make sure you can make a decision on uour own. Do they really need to dig into your life that much. I was raised Catholic and really want to get married in the catholic church but that question really made me think twice.

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yup believe it or not they can absolutely do that!

yeah we had to complete that form - the priest said it's an official permanent document that they can always go back to in case there are problems with your marriage etc. etc. -- you're basically signing your life away j/k

Good Lord! Ours wasn't like that at all...just a very comfortable and friendly conversation. Must be a difference in dioceses. Glad you made it through ok though!

You mentioned St. Pats- I don't know if it's the same one (we're getting married at St. Pats in Bay Shore)

We DEFINATLEY got the third degree!!! FH is Catholic and I am not and we live togther and Fr. Tom kept calling me a 'non- catholic co-habitor!!!'

LOL!! Then they passed over an entire bookelt of all the rules during the ceremony-- I was SHOCKED at all of the things that we're NOT allowed to have!!! Can't have a runner, no petals, rice, birdseed! There are such EXPLICIT instructions on photo and video- there's even a map of where the photog and videog can stand in the church and it says that they can take 'one picture of each member of the BP on their way down the aisle.'

If we want our own musicians we have to pay a per hour rate for mandatory practice in church and they have the right to refuse our musicians and every song that we choose must be approved by the director of the music department....


Just to name a few!!! SOOOO many rules to follow!!!

i didn't think it was a big deal. all they ask you is about your religion, your Sacraments (if you're a Catholic), basic information, and questions re: things they have to ask: have you been married before, have you been ordained or took relgious vows before, have you been co-erced into this marriage?

I don't really get why people get so nervous over these things... priests are people too. and those of you that live together, granted it's not what the Church wants, but they've seen it all and then some--it's better not to lie.

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Posted by donegal419

i didn't think it was a big deal. all they ask you is about your religion, your Sacraments (if you're a Catholic), basic information, and questions re: things they have to ask: have you been married before, have you been ordained or took relgious vows before, have you been co-erced into this marriage?

I don't really get why people get so nervous over these things... priests are people too. and those of you that live together, granted it's not what the Church wants, but they've seen it all and then some--it's better not to lie.

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We are interfaith, but we did have a meeting with the Priest because our marriage was recognized as a Sacrament by the Church for my DH.

I was a little nervous about the meeting, mostly I think because I had never actually met a Priest in person before

But the meeting was exactly like you described above ... really relaxed, and just gave him an opportunity to get to know us a little and go over the details of what we needed to do to have our marriage recognized, and he went over the basics of the ceremony too.

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Posted by SoinLoveRwe2

You mentioned St. Pats- I don't know if it's the same one (we're getting married at St. Pats in Bay Shore)

We DEFINATLEY got the third degree!!! FH is Catholic and I am not and we live togther and Fr. Tom kept calling me a 'non- catholic co-habitor!!!'

LOL!! Then they passed over an entire bookelt of all the rules during the ceremony-- I was SHOCKED at all of the things that we're NOT allowed to have!!! Can't have a runner, no petals, rice, birdseed! There are such EXPLICIT instructions on photo and video- there's even a map of where the photog and videog can stand in the church and it says that they can take 'one picture of each member of the BP on their way down the aisle.'

If we want our own musicians we have to pay a per hour rate for mandatory practice in church and they have the right to refuse our musicians and every song that we choose must be approved by the director of the music department....


Just to name a few!!! SOOOO many rules to follow!!!

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They do this b/c to the church its a sacrament and should be treated as such. As brides of course we want pictures but they want you to remember why you are really there not the flash or the video guy to take away from taht.

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Posted by Cpt2007

Good Lord! Ours wasn't like that at all...just a very comfortable and friendly conversation. Must be a difference in dioceses. Glad you made it through ok though!

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Same here...our priest had that individual converstion with each of us about had we ever had therapy...etc...but i never at any point felt oressured or nervous or wondered if i would 'fail,'!!!!!!! I guess it differs in different parishes

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Posted by SoinLoveRwe2

You mentioned St. Pats- I don't know if it's the same one (we're getting married at St. Pats in Bay Shore)

We DEFINATLEY got the third degree!!! FH is Catholic and I am not and we live togther and Fr. Tom kept calling me a 'non- catholic co-habitor!!!'

LOL!! Then they passed over an entire bookelt of all the rules during the ceremony-- I was SHOCKED at all of the things that we're NOT allowed to have!!! Can't have a runner, no petals, rice, birdseed! There are such EXPLICIT instructions on photo and video- there's even a map of where the photog and videog can stand in the church and it says that they can take 'one picture of each member of the BP on their way down the aisle.'

If we want our own musicians we have to pay a per hour rate for mandatory practice in church and they have the right to refuse our musicians and every song that we choose must be approved by the director of the music department....


Just to name a few!!! SOOOO many rules to follow!!!

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We're getting married at St. Patrick's Cathedral on 5th Ave in NYC and the priests are really intimidating - I met with 2 - the priest who's helping us with the paperwork and the Rector

Yeah they have a LOT of restrictions (no petals,etc) but I guess they can because of prestige -- I really believe there's seriously some sort of corporate heirarchy going on in the church

We can't have our own musicians -- we HAVE to follow all their rules to get married there!!

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Posted by donegal419

i didn't think it was a big deal. all they ask you is about your religion, your Sacraments (if you're a Catholic), basic information, and questions re: things they have to ask: have you been married before, have you been ordained or took relgious vows before, have you been co-erced into this marriage?

I don't really get why people get so nervous over these things... priests are people too. and those of you that live together, granted it's not what the Church wants, but they've seen it all and then some--it's better not to lie.

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Now that I'm reading that we all had different experiences, i think it really depends where you're getting married and which priest you deal with

I didn't think the questions I was expected to be able to answer were basic at all as I've never heard of those terms before

I'd still advice all the girls to go prepared for their PMI!!