Pre-Nup

Last night..37 Days before our wedding my FH said he wanted a Pre-nup. Both of us had very ugly divorces and he just wants to protect both of us.. The reason he said he decided this all of a sudden is because i made a comment that i would move back to NY in a heart beat..(we live in Iowa now). Moving back to NY is not an option unless i win the lottery..lol.
I also have 2 children he said this would protect them also.
I feel that we should trust each other that if god forbid we should get divorced our word is good enough. He said he trusts me and he is sure that we would never need to use it so then why do we need one??
Sorry if i am going on and on but i need some advice.
THANKS

With only 37 days to your wedding I can definitely see how this bothers you! I think that since you both had ugly divorces, he knows first hand that you can go into a marriage completely happy and never thinking of divorce, but if it happened once, he's probably nervous about the possibility of it happening again. I can see why he wants one and I can totally see why you don't.

I would just try to keep an open mind and have another talk with him. I honestly don't think there's anything wrong with having one. My FH and I aren't doing one because we don't own anything and have no children, or major assets etc. But if either one of us did, I would have at least considered one.

GOOD LUCK!!!!! And lots of

Because if you've been thru an ugly divorce you know why. Remember back when you married your first husband, you thought it would last forever. Basically a prenup says that you both leave what you cam ein with and split half of the earnings made during the course of the marriage. Usually. I would ask him why this never came up before, and what he would want to include in the prenup. It seems everyone goes thru a bit of cold feet before they get married. Maybe this is his version of cold feet. I hope everything works out and as long as you keep the lines of communication open then it should be fine. GL

Thanks for the advice..I will keep you posted

---

Posted by diva7531

Because if you've been thru an ugly divorce you know why. Remember back when you married your first husband, you thought it would last forever. Basically a prenup says that you both leave what you cam ein with and split half of the earnings made during the course of the marriage. Usually. I would ask him why this never came up before, and what he would want to include in the prenup. It seems everyone goes thru a bit of cold feet before they get married. Maybe this is his version of cold feet. I hope everything works out and as long as you keep the lines of communication open then it should be fine. GL

---

that is great advice!

Well...if the 2 of you have a lot of asset to protect, it is wise to get a pre-nup and a lawyer..just incase

I wish you good luck for whatever you decide to do.

how did things turn out??

---

Posted by jeanmarie

Last night..37 Days before our wedding my FH said he wanted a Pre-nup. Both of us had very ugly divorces and he just wants to protect both of us.. The reason he said he decided this all of a sudden is because i made a comment that i would move back to NY in a heart beat..(we live in Iowa now). Moving back to NY is not an option unless i win the lottery..lol.
I also have 2 children he said this would protect them also.
I feel that we should trust each other that if god forbid we should get divorced our word is good enough. He said he trusts me and he is sure that we would never need to use it so then why do we need one??
Sorry if i am going on and on but i need some advice.
THANKS

---

i know it must seem like a blow to hear this 37 days before your wedding, but think of the positive... he's trying to protect you and your kids too!! no one ever thinks that they will get divorced, but it happens, and that will be one less thing to worry about so you can concentrate on your wonderful life together!!

i think its wise to have a pre nup

i def would if we owned anything but we dont yet

---

Posted by Jess5790

i think its wise to have a pre nup

i def would if we owned anything but we dont yet

---

ditto


Good Luck!

It may be nerves that brought this on. 37 days to the wedding is cutting it close but he is probably nervous and started dwelling on the bad situation that had happened with his ex. If my FH and I had kids or did own anything that was of value then I would get one, like you had mentioned God Forbid you did break up at least it would be a smoother divorce.

Good Luck!

I would feel the same way you do. For obvious reasons the word 'Pre Nup' seems like such a negative. I'm personally not getting one, but I do understand where your FH is coming from. Since you have children-I guess you have to put them first and this would be the best thing to do. It is a really tough situation and I understand your emotions.

With only 37 days to go, I can see why you are feeling the way you do--it's cutting it pretty close. Considering the past though, I'm sure he is coming from a good place. You both know first-hand that things do not always end up the way you want them to down the road. It's not a bad thing though and it is not synonymous with divorce. Sit down and talk to him about it and then you two can come to a decision together.

WELL THANKS TO EVERYONE FOR ALL YOUR ADVICE. I AM STILL KINDA BITCHY TOWARDS MY FH BUT I AM STARTING TO SEE HIS POINT OF VIEW. I NEED TO THINK OF MY KIDS. HE SAYS HE IS 100% SURE WE WILL NEVER USE IT AND SO AM I SO I FIGURE WHY BOTHER WITH IT THEN, BUT IF IT MAKES HIM FEEL BETTER THEN I QUESS IT WOULDN'T HURT.
I GUESS I AM JUST GETTING CRAZY AS THE BIG DAY GETS CLOSER.... ..THANKS AGAIN FOR EVERYONES ADVICE.

I never thought that I would have a pre-nup either. It's a very difficult subject to address because it is such an issue of trust. I absoutely trust my FH but we are coming into the marriage older and with a big discrepancy in assets. I asked him to sign one about 7 months after we got engaged. I did it to protect our relationship...his mother is a big problem financially and emotionally and I decided that the only way I could be comfortable and put my mind at ease was to ask him to sign. I don't think we'll ever need it because we have a strong relationship but it just takes all the pressure off my mind about his mother. He agreed although he was very surprised. He understands why I asked for it and things have been so much better between us because we cleared the air about it and put it to rest.

Hope this helps! Whatever you decide, it will be the right decision for you as a family.

Good luck!