Pre-nups

FH suggested that I should want one awhile back - that was before he started with the ncpd and got a real salary. haven't thought about it since.

from an attorney's perspective, it sounds like a good idea in your situation considering there's stuff in his and his dad's name.

I can understand why he wants one...especially if his dad has a part in his assets

FH is about to take on a business with his friend...and in order for him to invest in the business, I have to sign something stating I will not go after the business in the event of divorce

I was soooo pissed and upset over this!

BUT I totally understand why they want this..they dont want some grimey woman coming along one day and saying, GIVE ME GIVE ME ....its not fair for the other partners to suffer bc of a bitter divorce

I get it...but do i agree with it? NO! lol

talk to FH more if its about the business with him and his dad then maybe just sign a document stating you won't touch what belongs to his dad
...and also if you do end up getting a prenup...I would totally 100% make sure that the prenup states you need to be taken care of in the event FH leaves you for another woman...you make the prenup say WHATEVER you want!

bottom line...I feel your pain! Its sucky and annoying to have to be talking about divorce before youre married and during such a happy time!

---

Posted by canmigs

I have no problem with them...I actually think they are a great idea. I'm sure I am in the minority with this one though.

---

ITA

we're both poor soooooo it's a non-issue for us

This wouldn't bother me at all. I would just add a clause on fidelity and make sure its fair.

I wouldn't let this stress you out more. If he had money and his own property before you and some of it is his dad's, then it's theirs. If you did nothing for him to get any of it, then it shouldn't matter. I would protect my dad and my property if I was him. No offense to you. But some women are awful and they are the ones to lie, cheat and scheme. Not to say he feels this way about you, obviously he doesn't. BUT the advice he gets could support it, muc like your sister's story.

Going forward though, I believe you would still be entitled to any future property bought and money made while he was married to you.

I just think its not worth stressing your relationship out over. Relationships are hard enough already. I hope it works out for you.

---

Posted by Windy

---

Posted by cateydee

---

Posted by Windy

---

Posted by cateydee

we talked about it and then asked my mom (an attorney). she said 'neither of you have a pot to pi$$ in, so you dont need one'
gotta love the moms
anyway, if you or your FH owns property or a business, it is a good idea to get one. maybe after some research, it wont seem so bad after all. do u mind if i ask why you are hesitant to get one?

---

I think I just keep imagining ten years and three kids later and FH coming home and saying he is in love with some 18 year old and telling me to move out. He says thats crazy and would never happen but my sister went through a similar situation and I dont wanna end up like her. I dont wanna be that clueless woman.

---

cant that be stipulated in the prenup? i dont know anything about them, but i imagine you can put whatever you want in them. like if he ends up with an 18 year old, you get half of that property owned before you married or whatever. its definitley a tricky issue but you might be able to use it to your advantage as well.

---

We discussed it today and FH agreed that something could be added to protect me against a situation like that but I still worry.

---

This is why Tiger Woods is trying to make it work with his wife...there is a clause in the pre-nup that says if either of them cheats then the deal is off...or something like that. If they divorce she could take him for millions.

You could put something like that in to make you feel better.

I don't like them, but if he's got stuff in his and his dad's names I don't see a way out of it for you...his dad has to protect himself.

---

Posted by canmigs

I have no problem with them...I actually think they are a great idea. I'm sure I am in the minority with this one though.

---

ITA!!

I think that Pre-Nups are okay becasue they also protect us women . I recently asked my Fiance for one.. dont be mad at him, I think you both should sit down and discuss it. I also suggest that you read Suzzie Orman's book called 'women and Money' it changes your whole take on pre nups


you dont have to be rich to have one either

we have discussed it, it would mostly protect me as i sole my co-op and put the large down payment on the house, etc. but i really don't feel it necessary.
However, I don't see anything wrong with anyone trying to protect themselves for something they worked hard for. let's face it no on gets married expecting or hoping to divorce, but it does happen out there. its a piece of paper that means nothing UNLESS someone does something dumb, in that case it can mean everything

---

Posted by FutureCap
its a piece of paper that means nothing UNLESS someone does something dumb, in that case it can mean everything

---

very well said

and i totally agree with that (which is why FH and I are going to get one)

I don't usually believe in pre-nups, but in this case your FH and father both have property in their names and his dad of course would want to protect that.

Like all the other girls mentioned, make sure there is some clause in regards to any infedility that may occur, so that way you and whatever children you may have together are protected as well. I know it ***** planning for something so negative as a divorce. It seems so contradictory to the whole getting married thing, but I think this goes a little beyond just you and FH. There is a third person involved that needs to be protected, and for that alone I think you should consider doing it.

Good Luck!!