if you or your fiance knows the people running precana and you dont feel comfortable taking precana with them because you know the lady is a gossip, can you take precana at the other persons church even though thats where your not getting married????
ThreeTwenty
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Re: Precana questions
I'm not sure what diocese you are in, but I know in the rockville center diocese you can take either the precana offered by the church where you are getting married or the diocese precana which I think is in November and April.
The people that run precana really dont find out anything about you or your fiance so even if you cannot get into a different one, dont worry too much about what this lady will find out.
Good luck!
butterfly20
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Re: Precana questions
they dont find out anything? i thought theyre suppose to have us talk stuff out in front of them..?
yes im in the rockville diocese and so is he
SomedayBride
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Re: Precana questions
If the people you're talking about are the people that run the pre cana out of their homes, yes, they'll find out everything that you discuss with them. I wouldn't be comfortable at all with someone I know, or someone who is a known gossip. Look into the one day, or weekend sessions that the Rockville Centre diocese offers, or it's possible that you could take the in home sessions at your FH's church.
butterfly20
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Re: Precana questions
were getting married at fiances church, he knows the people running it in their home... thats why i was wondering about my church and he doesnt want to go away for the weekend retreat instead
ThreeTwenty
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Re: Precana questions
We didn't discuss anything personal in front of the people. We filled out quiz books and the only people who saw our answers were FH and me. We went into small groups just to BS about how we all met and stuff, but nothing personal was revealed at any time. The people running it really just discuss their personal business. For example, we had a couple discuss the husbands battle with alcohol and gambling and how the marriage survived. I was also worried about revealing my personal business to a room of strangers but it turned out to be more of a series of lessons. It really wasn't that bad, and actually helpful.
shawl
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Re: Precana questions
You should ask your church. We are getting married at St. Matthew in Dix Hills, and the monsignor said it's fine for us to do pre-cana at the parish FI plans to join in Manhattan.
babybride
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Re: Precana questions
You should be able to take diocese pre-cana instead if you want. I could not make the dates for the pre-cana my Church has so we are doing a weekend pre-cana which is part of the diocese program. Ask your priest or call the rectory.
smooch
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Re: Precana questions
DH and I got married at my grandmother's church in Hewlett. We did PreCana through his church in Bohemia.
We DEFINITELY discussed private things that I wouldn't be comfortable telling someone I knew, or someone who was a gossip. Everyone discussed private things...
KathleenG
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Re: Precana questions
The priest is giving us flexibility to take precana by where we live in Brooklyn. I thought you could go where you wanted, but I am not sure anymore, I'm just trying to organizing this part of the wedding now. If you can, try to go where you are most comfortable, it is stressful enough!!
Maribelle7777
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Re: Precana questions
yes. call your church and ask if you can do it at yoru fiance's church or something like that. then call the other church and ask them if it's ok.
if anyone asks, you can tell them the dates don't work for you guys.
for instance, we are probably going to do it at st. joseph's seminary in yonkers on a weekend since we live closer to there than the church. and the precana couple only do it on thurs nights. we live 1 hour away and i work in the city and live in the bronx. by the time i got home and drove down on a thurs night, we wouldn't make it in time.
actually, you can call the long island diocese and ask to speak to someone that can give you information on precana (i forget her name, very nice lady) and see if she can help you.
ETA: as for talking about personal issues, I have some friends that told me their precana leaders were very into having everyone discuss (openly) personal stuff and others that were more into just talking about how to deal with different situations so no one talked about personal stuff other than the leaders. It all depends on who your leaders are and how they run the class.
mary
OctBride03
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Re: Precana questions
You can take pre-cana anywhere it's offered. Just make sure you get a letter or certificate of completion. FH and I took pre-cana at a different Church and it was fine.
I'd double check with the Church you're getting married in first though.
firegal
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Re: Precana questions
My church doesn't offer pre-cana but they give us a list of ones that do. WE can pick any of them so you should be able to go to any church and present your church with the letter of completion. To make sure, ask your rectory.
dawnie
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Re: Precana questions
I did pre-cana at a different Church and they didn't have a probkem with it. It was on a Friday night and all day Saturday and they didn't find out any personal stuff. I actually enjoyed it...
